Help me get the girl i want! Please!

Alright so theirs this girl i like. Ive picked her up a few times and we've hung out as friends like gone to the movies together and went to maccas and stuff. A few weeks after i first met her she said she liked me and asked if i felt the same way i said i liked her as a friend and wanted to get to know her better before i could commit to her as my gf. The problem is since then(couple of months) ive seen her with 2 or 3 guys. Ive really started to like her in the last few weeks and want to go out with her. I don't know if she has a bf atm or not. This is driving me crazy cause shes all i really think about. How would you guys handle this situation if you were in my position? Do you think i have a shot? If so hows the best way to get her. Looking forward to all your replies and to being a great new member here at hip forums.

 

Two questions:

a) how old are you (and her) ?

b) have you guys been affectionate before?

I guess I don't understand how you would commit to anyone before being affectionate. I would just flirt, flirt, flirt, touch, touch, touch, tease, tease, tease, hang out, hang out, hang out, then go for the kiss. And don't commit emotionally before she gets out of her way to be with you.

My two pennies. Good luck.

Edit: Forget about the other guys. Unless she tells you she has a boyfriend, they don't matter in the least.

 

Well were both 17 and no we haven't been affectionate before.

When she said she liked me it was a couple of months back so i don't really know anymore.

As far as just hanging out and going for the kiss goes every time we hang out she seems different to me. Like the other night she was nice and fun and talkative but the next night she just didn't say much or do much. It's really hard to read her and to know what to do and say with her.

 

I'm necessarily missing on a lot of the context here. Do you guys flirt? Laugh? Tease? I'm looking for some sign of affectionate interest here. If not, that is the first thing you need to do.

After that if she sends you mixed signals, stop hanging out with her. And if she asks why, tell her you feel like she is sending you mixed signals and you won't put up with it.

But you're still quite a few steps behind that one. The first thing is to flirt; in a flirty or sweet moment I would bring up the conversation when she said she liked you and expose your feelings.

But, for now, it's really important that you keep your options open and go on leading the rest of your life as before. :cheers2:

 

i agree with cherea, you gotta be flirty and sweet, and if she likes it or flirts back, you're pretty much golden. at that point ask her what she is doing on the weekend or something, invite her to have dinner and a movie with you. Have a nice chat at the dinner be sweet and flirty some more, and offer your arm or hold hands walking to the movie theater or put your arm around her when you are watching it. After that initial touch the chemicals start flowin and by the end of the movie she'll want to make out with you. gl

if it doesn't work out main thing i would say is make your moves faster next time. it's better to find out quickly if she's into you or not than to agonize over it for months like that and try to figure it out. If i don't ask a girl out by the 2nd or 3rd time i talk to her, i pretty much figure i'm not going to get anywhere with her. She's already put you into the friends pile after too long. You gotta show romantic intent subtly but quickly from the first time you meet.

But in high school most people are inexperienced and anything's possible. I did have a girlfriend in high school that i knew for 6 months before asking her out and it went pretty well. we were passing notes for a while and it got to the flirty stage and i went for it. It's great to use passing notes (or instant messages these days) at first because it gives you time to think out an appropriate flirt.

And some words of encouragement. I've noticed that people's impressions of a person are more based on their recent memories than the sum of all their memories. So if you start acting sweet/flirty with her now, chances are in a week she will have a whole different impression of you than she does today, no matter what your past experiences with her were. Go for it man.

 

I don't know about this, it seems to me that if she really liked you the way you like her, she would be with you. I say find someone else.

 

there isn't really anything anyone can do for you.

you have to do what works for you, or doesn't work.

don't do anything that isn't genuinely you, because it could fuck things up in the end, or be quite hard on you.

if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. everything happens for a reason.

 

Thanks for the good advice guys.

A little update; she asked me to do something on Saturday night and i said yes. Were gonna watch a movie at my place as per her suggestion. I then got my feelings off my chest and asked her if it would be okay to watch it in my room because my mum would be out in the lounge room and i really wanted to spend some time alone with her because i like her and want to be more than just friends with her. She texted back saying that's ok and that she liked me that way too.

So its all good for Saturday night we will be watching a movie or 2 at night in my bedroom and in my bed. Now i need some help ie what movies to watch, ways to possibly get mum out of the house (She will butt in and bitch if shes here, shes the nosiest and most embarrassing person ever), ways to act, what food and drink and most importantly the best way to get my arm around her and go for the kiss.

I'm freaking out over this the girls ive been with i've just hung out with them and other friends and we've just broken off and hung out ( usually at their place) and they've mostly made all the moves. Any help with this stuff would be appreciated.

 

congrats, pretty much no way to screw it up now, just be happy to see her and comfortable with her being there and things will happen. Lol at what food and drink and what movie to watch. A glass of water and a cheesy b movie. or x drink and x movie. you guys won't be focusing on that right. put your arm around her right after you put the movie on and go from there.

 

^ What he said. It's not the drink that matters, just have some snacks (not chips or anything that'll leave an awkward flavor) and a favorite type of drink. Since you're 18 I'd limit it to Pepsi or a fruity sports drink.

As for the movie, if you try to watch something that requires a lot of attention like Memento or The Usual Suspects then you're not going to get very far. Romantic comedies are cliche but work well, but B-movies have no equal. Rent "Only The Strong" or some other shitty shitty movie, wait for her to get bored with it, and then make your move playa.

Break a leg!