I think I had a premonition. Not in the actual sense, but I had a good fucking taste of possible things to come. So first I need to tell everyone that I've had OBE's without drugs a couple times, and I go through a phenomena known as hypnagogia almost daily when I try to sleep. It's probably the most terrifying experience I've ever felt, and it happens a lot. .... ....What happens is you start to drift away from your conscious and the wakefulness begins to leave. You start to enter a 'dreaming reality' of sorts and all your sense begin to go wild. Visual hallucinations, aural hallucinations, and a VERY heavy, contorted and twisted pins & needles feeling. Feels like muscles contracting really hard with that on top. Most importantly is an overwhelming sense of fear. People tell me to try and control it and not be scared, but that is beyond impossible. The fear has no basis, it just happens. And I've never felt anything like it in the waking life. It feels a lot like the uncontrollable fear induced by Salvia (for me), but it's a lot stronger. The wiki article explains a lot of the crazy-ass sensory stuff. I haven't said much about it. ANYWAY To the dream(s?) itself. I only have dreams that really shake me once or twice a year. Unfortunately you don't really remember much of a dream, and it would be pretty imperitive for the feeling to explain it all in vivid detail, but I can't do that so I'll try the best I can. The bits and pieces I DO remember: I remeber coming to in my basement. I couldn't feel my body. I knew I was there, but my skin felt really fucked up. Like that really bad DOC overdose. Thick, inches thick, dissociaiting..... I look around at my arms (mnmy vision is really fucked up, exactly like a pre-K-hole dose of ketamine). I'm cut and mangled profuseley. There's blood everywhere. EVERYWHERE. My nose is broken and bleeing a lot. I can't feel pain. I took PCP (I know this isn't really what a PCP trip is like but this isn't the point). That's just what it told me. The gashes in my legs and body are deep. I can't believe I'm standing. I'm covored in blood. The basement is dark. There's one light on. There's blood all over the walls. A lot of it. And all over. Not a whole lot on the floor other then where I'm standing. I have a lot of other drugs. Namely I try to break out the G-bong and smoke some weed for some reason, because I have no fucking idea what happened. My vision is too fucked to do anything useful. I end up spilling the weed everywhere, and it's like a couple ounces. all of it, all over the floor. I don't know how this started, what day it is, what time it is, who's home, or anything. I'm scared to death that my mom is gonna find me like this and the basement. There's no way I can clean it. I'm too weak and even so it'd take some insane professional CSI cleaning crew like a week. The fear is there. 'the fear'. I want to know what happened. How did I do manage to get myself into this situation. I OD'd on a powerful dissociaitive. Who did I kill (I felt I had killed someone or people), how did I get so mangled, who's after me, how did I get back here alone? etc... I collapse, and all of a sudden my friend is there (the only good friend I have here). He didn't talk, or seem himself. I was slumped over on a small end table down here, dying. He was just standing over me, looking down with a distraught look on his face. I didn't care. I just thought about all the people in my life and how I might have affected them. And all I can think is how I'm relieved death is finally here. -cut- All of a sudden I'm upstairs and all I can think about is how my mom is gonna find all the weed everywhere and the basement looking like a battlefeild. I go downstairs, and all my shit is gathered right at the bottom of the stairs. The big G-bong, the weed, some bags and other random smoking things, and maybe some other drugs. I must've done this in my stupor. I tried cleaning the shit up, but I had little physical coordination, my vision was fucked to hell, and I could hardly feel anything. I give up and get anxious. My mom is gonna find this shit. Sure enough it cuts again to her screaming at me, telling me she wishes she had never had a son, how she doesn't care if I die, but I can't stay there (absolutely nothing like my mother). She throws some things at me as I sit there on the floor and just stare in amazement. It cuts again to a different time, with the same situation. Dunno what that was about. During the first scene when she's yelling at me, I started to converge back to waking state. So the hypnagogia is happening now when I go to sleep AND wake up. This has only started within the past month or two. I get all the insane rushing and body cramps and the horrible fear and all of a sudden everything stop and I'm staring at the stairs where she was. Takes me a few seconds to snap out of it and realize I'm totally fine. What a relief. This happens for the second scene too, and I snap out of it the same way, in the same position. I'm sweating (cold sweat) and my hearts racing. It's now 8:30am and I've had 8 hours and probably won't be able to go back to sleep if I try, so I just get up. My mind is shaken, and the depression is especially bad this morning (as it has been for the past couple weeks). I have some pretty bad anxiety but that leaves within a few hours. And so did everything else negative because someone I've been friends with for a little over a year told me they liked me a lot. 'tis cool because I like them too. Anyway. I've been thinking about it and the obvious meaning here is that if I keep fucking with hard stuff, something really bad is going to happen. Really bad things have already happened too. Well once. So I'm taking this seriously. I'm either going to die or end up in jail. That's the meaning that JUMPS OUT at me. I'll be mulling this over for probably a good week.
I did not read all of that, but I don't believe that dreams have any meaning. They're fun, and can teach you stuff about life, but they won't tell you the future.
Interesting report. I would sometimes also get really confusing dreams, the latest one reminded me to take of something which may have led me to get in alot of trouble with the law. Usually spending a good ammount recalling and thinking through such dreams is great for self development. The fact that your depressed obiovusly sharpens the neggative. Last week i was exhausted by thrusday and firday (work/training/college/portfolio work/more work) my neves were so messed up my eye began twitching for 2 days straight, then i had 2 nightmares in a row (i never ever have nightmares, well since i was like 8 or 9) i usually handle myself in dreams, but these were fucked. i cant remmeber them, but i remember lying down thinking how fucked up i am... i took a day off, got some decent sleep and was ok.
ACtually i think they do. I know One case on youtube where this guy David WIlcock has dreams that tell him about the future..actually that told him a lot...check it out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxQLiy7AHx8 Watch all four parts. You might think he's crazy but watch it with an open mind. And another case where this guy at my job said he got the job hes at now, because someone in a dream told him to call the job at a certain time and ask for the job. And he got it Also geneity, what you were experiencing during those hallcuinations and stuff, thats your body going into sleep paralysis, and you were probally getting ready to enter a dream. Also check out lucid dreaming. www.lucidipedia.com
Yeah I've had lucid dreams, OBE's, all of that fun stuff. I'm decently versed in that sort of thing, and this just fascinates me. I've been having hypnagogic episodes for years now. They say it comes from irregular sleep patterns. That'd be me. I also know that dim light (like the TV on in a dark room) stimulates it to happen when you're falling asleep. Sometimes I try to get it to happen, because if that uncontrollable fear wasn't present, I could probably get an OBE going. It's happened by itself with a hypnagogic episode before. My body feels like it's being crushed when it happens. I'm completely paralyzed, it's even hard to breathe. So it's card to keep a centered mind and try to harness it. and mr.green, yeah I love when I remember my dreams. I like to think about them. And that eye twitching thing is sooooooooo annoying.
what's the really bad thing that already happened? i had a dream the other night that glass broke in my mouth. and i had cottonmouth, so the glass was stuck. i think it was prompted from watching that fucking mason jar in the ass video. i think it's a good idea to "stop fucking with the hard stuff"
I have tons of sleeping problems, getting enough sleep, waking up, etc., and bud really helps me, but I can't tell my parents that. I just took a huge nap after school and I still feel really bad, like confused and depressed, because I fell asleep basking in a glow of sunlight and I wake up and the first thing I see is the complete darkness outside. I feel weird as fuck
Control may be futile, but acceptance is not. try to analyze and accept the fear, not control it. let the fear dominate and try to understand it. i would say the same thing about the meaning of the dream, your description of deep wounds makes me think of trying to dig something out, like if you tried to cut out the drugs. i have had dreams that conveyed details in an inexplicable way. one involved gourmet chocolate and cheese, in my high school. weirdness. and Ducky, you know not what you speak. Some people do dream true dreams, and others dream jibberish. if you only dream jibberish then you should count your blessings. i dreamed of planes crashing into tall buildings one september 10th, and the next morning my nightmare came true. if you have never experienced such a thing you are very lucky.
Yeah I had a dream that a friend's grandmother was going to die. I got the news the next day. Some scary shit. I don't know if I can just l can just 'lay there and accept it'. It's such an insane state of being. Your physical body and mind are going totally haywire.
you should try though, most things are worse when you resist, especially things you cant control. you might learn something, or gain insight into how to stop these incidents. its not even facing your fears, its accepting them, rational or irrational, as valid. i am terrified to drive. its irrational but it is a valid fear. all feelings are valid.
I learned plenty of that from tripping and a few psychedelic overdoses. The fear isn't valid. Validity would require a reason behind it. I think it's just a mass chemical release and some receptors get hit hard. It has something to do with the amygdala. idk. I'm so tired.
do you avoid sleep because it's unpleasant? i just noticed in your other post you didn't sleep one night...
That sounds creepy as fuck, would be very strange IMO. Dude, every ONCE IN A LONG TIME I get a dream like that, something that just really shakes me up and I don't sleep for 48+hrs in fear of having that dream again. I think it's in a way NORMAL for people to have dreams like that just not on a normal schedual, like not every night or week or anything else like that. All I can say as a peice of advice, is if you're really worried, see a counsler I mean what would it hurt? Just try to think of anything that might cause these thoughts/dreams.
I had a dream that this blonde-haired girl entered my consciousness and began speaking to me. She had orange eyes and slits for pupils. I figured she was a shapeshifter, and she had a very negative presence. Once I realized what she was, she grew afraid, and knew she was losing control. I used my will to force her out of my mind, and she told me that they were watching me, and knew everything I was doing. It actually came down to a physical struggle, with me pushing her down, and she tries to bite me, and her face became very dark and almost scary. It was very vivid, and seemed to have many implications.
omg that sounds terrifying! maybe you should stop doing hard drugs for awhile, just in case.. maybe its some kind of sign that your body is giving off to tell you to stop
Thing is I haven't done any hard drugs in a good long while, besides 2C-B. And It's probably because of my experiences with 2C-B that this happened. I'm not afraid or worried about this stuff happening. As I said I think it's fascinating. And no I don't not sleep because of this. Sometimes I don't sleep because I'm so stressed out and depressed.
