Ok this might be a really stupid question, but if your boyfriend/girlfriend was TERRIBLE at sex and kept asking you every time how it was, and if it felt good, would you lie if you know the truth would hurt his/her feelings really bad? Or would you tell the truth and hope they would understand? Just wondering....ALso, is it weird if they ask you to talk to them and/or sing to them during sex? Again, just wondering..
I think you have to tell the truth, or the situation will never improve. But it's really important to consider your partner's feelings, too. So the challenge is to think of a way to tell them without hurting their feelings.
I agree. You have to tell the person, otherwise neither of you will be fully satisfied. Sex is only one facet of a relationship. You need to frame your response in a way that isn't going to hurt their feelings. Instead of saying "you suck" tell them things that you enjoy and ask them if they'll try them. Or ask them what they like and try it for them as well. Everyone has their quirks in bed and you want to make sure you're both happy
Unless you happen to be a person's first sexual partner, you have to consider that what you think "sucks" may have been what their past partner(s) really enjoyed. Instead of telling someone "you suck" it is often a better idea to just tell/show them how you want to have sex/be made love to. Basically teach them how to please you through gentle guidance and patience. Yeah, saying "wow you are bad in bed" would be faster, but not nearly as beneficial as being kind and understanding slowly teaching someone how to be better (for you) in bed. If they are constantly asking "how was I" then they are likely insecure about their performance, and it is the perfect time to start guiding them. Try "When you ___ it felt good, but what really turns me on is _____. Maybe we can try that next time" You didn't come with a manual, so you cannot expect someone to know what turns you on unless you tell them, because no two people are exactly the same when it comes to sex. If talking or singing in bed makes you feel uncomfortable, just mention it to your partner. Again, with kindness and understanding. Basically, just think about how you would want the situation handled if you were on the receiving end of it. If the person is unwilling to learn how to please you AFTER you have put in effort to try to guide them, then you may want to reconsider the value of the relationship. Sex is where both people in a relationship need to be open, trusting, and understanding. If you lack that, it's only a matter of time before it affects other areas of your relationship.
Simply ask if they are willing to try some new things, or a different way of doing something. Ask in a positive way.
