*Sigh* I just feel so stupid... So, I've known this girl for two years, since she was eleven and I was thirteen, we met online and live in different countries, but we were in an online relationship, the brake up was mutual, she lied about her age (she said she was a year older than she was) and I was being a bit "physical" (well, as physical as you can get over the Internet) I didn't want to pressure her into anything, so we ended it. For two years we spoke on web-cam at least twice a week, and IMed each other at least three hours a day. I was in love with her, she was in love with me, but it was platonic, she wasn't physically attracted to me... I've always been a loser, she was kind of introverted when we first met. She just kept to herself (well, herself and I) but had friends. Now she's changed, she's still the same person to me, but she's never on the computer, she's always out hanging with her friends and going on dates, and then telling me about it. I've never been very popular, I'm considered a big nerd and I don't talk a lot. I was going to meet her for the first time this summer, but she won't answer my E-mails, and I'm not allowed to call her because of the long-distance charges. I know it's stupid, but I wanted us to be together...Just for maybe a week while she was there, just so I could experience some affection and love for once in my life. But that's never going to happen. She's moved on from me, she'll forget about me in a year or so. One day find a picture of me on her laptop and laugh that she ever used to like me, even as a friend.
It's just that...I really thought she was the one, you know? I've pretty much given up on finding someone to love, I guess I'll always be alone.
Over the next few years you are going to go through so many changes...likes and dislikes, views of the world, college, interests, etc.... There is no way to find someone now that will go through the same changes as you. Your better off worrying about what you want for the future and later on finding someone with the same interests/goals/lifestyle as you. I doubt your friend will forget you and you never know...you may run into her in the future. Just think how interesting it will be to see how you've both changed and what direction your lives have taken. People have been reunited with their first love 10+ years later when the time was right for them to be together. Stop sitting at home pining over her and find people with similar interests. You say your a nerd so I'm guessing you like computers, gaming, or something like that. Join a club or group that has to do with computers, gaming, etc. Start enjoying life, your letting an exciting time pass you by, there is so much more to life than one girl. Over the next couple of years you'll be amazed at the number or girls you'll meet and have an interest in if you open yourself up to it. You say your not very popular but that isn't as important as being confident. When your confident about yourself people will treat you differently than if you walk around down on yourself with your head hanging.
It just feels like there's no closure. A few weeks ago she called me and apologized for not being on the computer a lot, and she said she'd talk to me the day after, but she never did.
I called her and we talked for a good forty minutes, she couldn't get on her mom's computer because she's had too many things going on....*Sigh*
If you continue to look at the situation in such a negative light it'll be hard to get over and learn from it. Just man up and move on. It was an online relationship, based partly on lies, and if she won't return your messages then it's over, plain and simple.
Honestly, though there are rare cases, most relationships with young people don't work out. Considering the fact it's an online relationship is that much more unlikely to work out. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it could. You're 15. I was pretty much a loser when I was your age, so were lots of people ...actually I think if most of the 'losers' who look back, were a lot 'cooler' than the popular people. Things are changing all the time. 15 isn't a very serious time, it's more a time for mistakes and realizations lol It's probably for the best, you need to have physical relationships with people or you'll miss out on a lot of what being a teen is about.
Shit, im 22 and i have never found love or affection with a woman, ever. Stop being such a pussy! Maybe get into the drug scene for a little while, it might make you grow up a little bit.
