I would really really appreciate advice...

So I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months now and I haven't told my parents. I have an entire history there and it'll take the majority of time here so let me say that I love my boyfriend and under different circumstances, I would not have waited soooo long to get up the courage.

When I was 13 my mom lost my trust in all relationship issues because no matter how much I told her it bothered me and upset me that she'd tell others about what I was going through she would still tell people. And not just like my grandma or aunts, like co-workers I'd never met before or some I'd see all the time, and being a young teen, it really hurt that she didn't care about my personal feelings. I told her straight up finally that I didn't think I could ever trust her with relationship issues ever again.

I started holding relationships online (and yes, my current boyfriend is over the internet) and though I do know the risks, I even explained issues of online relationships they'd never thought of when they found out and "talked" to me about it, when they found out they *made* me break up with my boyfriend (I had just turned 17) of a month and a half, I hadn't told them that he was over the internet, and did sort of lie, but they weren't mad about that, they were upset with him being from the internet.

After that, they did everything in their power to try to get me to break off all my online friendships and such. Now normally I wouldn't bother so much but I have a fear of disappointing my parents, so much so that I would break up with someone if they didn't like him (or her) just cause they didn't like him, not knowing anything about them, without regard to the fact that I am so in love, just to please them. I *know* that they want what's best for me and want me to be safe, but I know my boyfriend and in fact, have even talked to his mom a couple times for a bit over skype so I know he's not a creeper and such. I just would like to know how to approach this because I am head over heels for my boyfriend and I don't think I'd ever get over breaking up with him, but I also don't know how I can handle disappointing my parents. I'm screwed no matter what, but I'd just like to know how to best not lose my head and start yelling and make things worse, like usual.

 

So nevermind then, eh... My boyfriend broke up with me today anyways... I guess i don't need advice then... <<goes and cries now>>

 

You should try to realize that at some point you will disappoint your parents, and they will at some point disappoint you. Amazingly enough you get over it and move on. Don't worry so much about what other people think, because what you think needs to matter to you more.

 

Woah, sorry you got dumped.

I agree with the above post, though, I mean honestly. Come on. You're 18. Your parents shouldnt' control you...so dont' let them.

 

Yeah, I know I shouldn't and that legally they can't do a damn thing about it... ever since I was little though, I was the good girl... well up until I hit teens and my life went everywhere, but even then, I didn't smoke drink or have sex or anything that goes with them. I don't even know why I fear their disappointment.

 

^ Honestly, I'd say just be who you are. If your parents love you, then they won't judge or try and control you.
That doesn't mean they won't ADVISE you, blahblahblah.

If your parents don't love you, then well...their approval isn't worth shit anyway.