People who ask for advice but never take it.

you know what? I've been coming to the conclusion that I'm gonna stop giving advice completely. I'm sick of it. And yeah, sometimes I give it when it's unsolicited.. and that's my fault really. I mean well.. just trying to be helpful especially when I see a way someone can end their suffering. But... I can't live their life for them. And I really should mind my own business, which I try to do most of the time but sometimes fail miserably. But.. I'm working on it.

Then there are those times when people ask for advice but really don't want it.

And then there are those people that ask for advice and when you suggest that they really know best.. they get mad at you for not giving them advice.



Ok, that's my rant for the day.

 

My advice to you is stop giving advice.

 

Do you want my advice?

 

that is good advice.

 

Now follow it, girl!!

 

don't you recognize a desperate cry for sympathy when you see it?!!

 

Aw. See if you wanted a hug, all you had to do was ask. I think you're a swell lady. :grouphug:

 

right back at ya!

 

You shouldn't let it bother you or upset you.. People will ask your opinion on situations, you can give it or not give it.. Me, I give it if they ask, while surprised that they even asked me.. But I still give my thoughts on their situation and perhaps what I would do... I never get upset or feel anything really if they don't listen to what I say or follow it, they either just want some insight or a reason to talk or complain.. Either way I am all ears and really got nothing else to do at the moment so I don't really mind nor let it affect me when people ask...
I mean when someone comes to you and asks for advice or input, do you really honestly think that they will do everything you told them too, I mean would you? No, you probably wouldn't... They just want someone elese's insight or opinon on the situation or what to do, or again just to talk or complain.. So don't let it bother you too much, humans will always be humans...

 

Thanks, I can use a hug from you too. iggy:iggy:

 

i think people only ask for advice to get you to listen to their problems. it's a sort of bait & switch for problem solving nice people.

 

I never take advice because I know what is best all the time in any situation.

 

Lot of truth there.

 

I'm telling ya, drama queens.

 

did I or did I not just send you one? :toetap05:

 

Thank you

 

yeah, the thing is that I really care about people and want to be helpful, except sometimes I don't know how to best be helpful. Sometimes giving them what they want really isn't very helpful for them, from a bigger picture point of view. kinda like giving a baby a dangerous toy just because he's whining and crying for it.. ya know?

anyway, this is one of those tricky things for me that I haven't found that middle ground or balance point. I'm still testing it out and working on it. It does bother me to think I've hurt someone's feelings, believe it or not. I know sometimes I probably come across as a real hard ass around here, but I'm much softer than that and get sensitive sometimes. That's my responsibility though.. and I've had to deal with that my whole life. I think sometimes I even take responsibility for other people's feelings.. like I empathize with them too much to where I lose perspective.

oh and no I don't expect someone to do what I tell them. I was mostly talking about the ones that ask and then completely dismiss your input. then you're left going "why did they even ask?"

 

I can see that. I'm guilty of that too.

 

No, I don't know... They are just asking for advice, you either give it or you don't...

You can't help someone with their life and their problems, they have to figure it out for themselves, that is how you should be helpful, letting them learn and do on their own... But being a listening ear is what they really want, so they can sort it out by talking about it to someone...

 

what I was referring to was people who ask for advice but really just want attention. yeah, sometimes people truly want input and a different perspective, but seems that's more rare.

you know what's tricky.. is being a listening ear on the internet.