I don't get it? Mostly for men.

You mean to tell me that you have been married to this guy for close to 17 years and he still wants to ravish you every moment he remembers why he married you?!

What a dick.

 

We had a talk and I figured out he gets mad because he feels like the kids always come first.....instead of him. He knows thats how it should be and he wants it to be like that but the "horny" part of him acts like a kid and pouts. He knows I am not trying to put him off on purpose and he says he knows I want him. I told him I didn't feel comfortable knowing that the kids could easily catch us in the act. Basically he agrees with what I was saying but when he gets horny, he turns into a kid himself. He also said he was sorry for making me feel like I had done something wrong....that he didn't blame me for anything or the kids he just gets frustrated. Hopefully this will not be an issue anymore.

I am glad that my husband still wants me after almost 17 years. We have been through a lot and have a strong relationship. We have a good sex life and I don't want something like this to put a strain on our relationship in any way. Thanks for all of the advice. It is very appreciated!

We have also decided to try to spend more time together without the kids.....even one or two nights a months with no kids would help. That way we can do it anywhere anytime we want.....at least while the kids are gone.

 

It's funny how much different you'd feel about the situation if he were turning you down. I'm not saying you were wrong, your kids' interests definitely come first, but understand that rejection on any level sort of stings, regardless of the situation behind it. I've been on both sides, and while it may seem silly for a 22 year old who's only been in a relationship for 4 years is trying to give you advice, I truly believe balance and communication is essential, and the fact that you guys discussed it rationally is awesome. While your wants and needs are just as important as his, his are just as important as yours, and you have to find that balance.

 

that works.

 

I don't have any great answer for you sunshine, but I sure do empathize! It does sound like your husband needs to feel your comforting attention more often, and sex is his way of assuring he'll get that from you. More personal time together sounds like a good plan.

With regard to some other folks on this thread...I'm sure sorry to come to a hippie forum and read people's attacks upon each other. Breathe. Life's too short...

Namaste,
sr

 

Your husband is a big spoiled baby and needs to grow up. If you can't talk sense into him then try to get him into counseling.

 

many years ago when I was fresh in love, we had 2 kids. 2 boys.. 4 and 5 years old..
trying to get away from 2 explorers is like hiding a whale in the tub from Jacques Cousteau.. you have to be creative..

 

You all that repeat the "kids come first" mantra are wrong. In the best relationships the marriage and its needs come first. That is not to say the kids get totally ignored or their basic needs are not met but they should not be put first. When the relationship between a set of parents is destroyed is causes a major disruption (some would say total destruction) of one of the basic needs of the children (happy parents who are together). This is also not to say I think its okay to have sex in front of the kids. This is my first post so you all are welcome to ignore these comments or bash me as you wish.

 

that's true, and he is violating their relationship by disrespecting his wife and the kids' mother. he is placing his transitory desire for sex before all other considerations, when it can easily be postponed to a better time. it's selfish, inconsiderate and stupid.

 

So you married him when you were 17/18?? That says a lot right there.

 

hurt his feelings. just make sure your kids don't see. goddamn do i wish my mom was more like you when i was younger.

 

Kids a sneaky, they'll catch you. Tell him to grow up.