How can we avoid all this bickering?

This thread might turn out to be a bad bad idea, in which case feel free to delete it

Last night I went to bed so down coz of this forum and the apparent ignorance behind either the things we say or the way in which we say them - mostly the latter. It's almost worse when someone who can't see anything wrong in what they're doing causes offense than someone who is intentionally out to be an arse.

Regardless of the discussion, if you make a sweeping narrow-minded statement about something, with the implication that your view is far superior to others, you are bound to rub people up the wrong way and insult their intelligence, even if what you are saying is actually right.

Also, attempting to say something nice, or balanced, acknowledging the other views, is pointless if you still insist on inserting a little dig somewhere.

I really resent being driven to saying horrible things to nice people.

Surely there is a point between staying true to your beliefs, and being totally pig-headed, where it's possible to convey an opinion without simultaneously (and sometimes knowingly) insulting several other people.


Like I said, maybe this thread will go horribly wrong, but I feel I've been driven to having to say something.

 

if the dreads are the source of bickering it's pretty clear you should just cut them all off and get on with your life

 

lol, and Plan B?

 

plan b:

go to the source of all the drama and nip it there...just because some people have had dreads for a hundred years doesn't make them a dread saint...

look at farmers, they have many different ways of doing things and strongly disagree with each other on certain practices....just because my grandpa has been slaughtering with the same technique for 50 years doesn't mean there arent other effective ways to slaughter that are more advanced and up to date....

at the end of the day

grandpas 50 year old technique yields the same results as the hot shot using new technology down the road..

it doesnt matter how you get there, as long as you get there

he does it the way he wants to and as long as he's left alone about it, there's no issues....

that was a really long winded pointless story, but there was a point...you just gotta find it

 

there is no plan b =]



to stop the bickering everyone needs to grow up and just learn to get along.

yes i know its easier said than done..

 

i was just thinking the same thing too, amy. it sucks how we're supposed to be a community here, but instead of finding common ground on the notion that we all have dreads, it seems to have an opposite effect; people get bitchy and decide that they need to be right and/or feel superior. i don't get it, but it doesn't give the least bit of hope out to me...how can people want to live peacefully together, when they can't even come to terms with how other people do their hair i've stayed out of all the fights that went on here for the most part, but it just gets really annoying having to see such silly arguments every day. agreeing to disagree will only work once people give up the need to "be better than everyone else"...

 

Yes. Couldn't agree more.

 

Yeh I think everyone probably thinks this...so howcome that's not enough? Is it to do with people genuinely not knowing what they're saying?

 

id ont really hang out in the dreads section much at all, but even i notice the shit storm thats been happening. i go to check up on a thread that was goin along fine a day before and boom first thread looked like the start of another argument. its sad but everyone is different and everyone is going to voice their opinions on how they believe things should be done. but some of the arg's get out of hand and it def saddens me to watch happen. but ur not alone over here in the dreadlock forums. theres been some def arguments started all over the forum. i wonder y its all happenin in the month of march? its easily not easily fixed lol. we all jus need to play nice and respect each others opinions i guess
much love

 

It's just the interwebz. If you're getting bummed out by it then it's probably time to take a little break. It's quite easy to ignore the drama. Simply don't read it or involve yourself.

 

i really don't understand the psychology of it, but i imagine it would be pretty damn hard not to see how you're insulting other people...i mean, when people go off on page by page long fights - it's kind of obvious that somebody's feelings were hurt. everyone, i just ask for understanding, peace, and kindness toward your neighbors...is that really so hard?

 

^^ It shouldn't be, but apparently it is.

 

:iagree:

 

Thing is, it's rarely the actual differences in opinions that are argued about. There are many many times when we don't have the same opinion about something, but it doesn't cause an argument. What usually happens is a careless inferrance that those with the opposite opinions are stupid or inferior in some way. You know?


Ignoring it won't make it stop or go away...

 

Not necessarily.

 

regardless, this used to be a place to come to with good vibes and reassuring people, which it still is, but recently some users feel the need to fight...and this whole place could be a lot happier if people just choose not to argue about silly issues that will never be settled! :frown:

 

But why do things like not insulting the intelligence of others have to be regarded as unsettleable issues?

 

the unsettleable issues i was referring to was those of dreading method dispute, because there's no point in arguing about which is better! they both have their own pros and cons, but different strokes for different folks

 

Nobody is arguing one way is better than another except for one soul.

 

Oh right. Yeh, and I agree. And I think most people do. That's what I meant when I said it's often the way things are said, rather than the views themselves. There are loads of us with different views on e.g. dreading methods or the approach to waxing or whatever, and we manage to share the views without arguing about them. It's the little digs, or the superior tones etc that get people annoyed....which is then misinterpreted as them being annoyed at being disagreed with, when infact that's not quite the case. This making sense to anyone??