so last night i had one hell of a trip. i have never quite experienced mushrooms like this before. these were some beautiful mushies, the stems were yellow and blue, and the caps were pure gold. they were shining gold, it was beautiful. so earlier that day i had drank a 40 oz, which was strange because i barely ever drink, maybe like once a month or less. well later on i started feeling weak, i guess from drinking the 40 and not drinking any water afterward. felt similar to being hung over. i was contemplating whether or not i should even take the shrooms. i decided i shouldn't but i couldn't falk asleep so i decided to take a few gravs which made me feel better, so i decided to eat the shrooms anyways. i ate about a 1.5 grams and i was sitting on my bed meditating, and i just passed out from being so tired. i woke up an hour later in a daze, tripping my balls off. it was so strange, i had all these bad thoughts and they were all strung together. i couldn't talk and my body still felt weak and hung over. i began getting these violent cold chills and i couldn't get warm. i couldn't think and the more i tryed to lay down, the more i would think bad thoughts. i then began to search for my weed to see if that would calm me down. i began to feel very sick while looking for the weed. i ended up making it to the bathroom and i began throwing up alochol and food and little bits of musrhooms. i layed over the toilet for a little until i could figure out what to do. finally after searching through the house for a lighter and weed i had made it to my smoking area in my basement. as i began to take some gravs i didn't know if it was gonna make me feel better, but after the 3rd or 4th one that mystical pleasant feeling swooped in and took me away. i sat in my smoking chair and put my head down into and remembered all the adventures on acid and dmt i had in that chair. the herb carried me away into happy place, and it assured me i was safe now. as the night went on i sat in that chair inebreated, barely opening my eyes, just riding the waves of bliss inside my head. the lesson that was brought to me was that of how logic, reason, and emotions play a part in the total soul. albert einstein came to mind, was albert einstein a normal man, or did was his logic so great that his mind inhabited the mental plane where logic and reason take form? it was a fight through hell to get to heaven. what a trip!
glad you made it out of the darkness alive. you know there's really only one thing to learn from your post overall imo. that is, respect, respect, respect. some drugs you can fuck around with, but once you start playing with the cosmic deconstructers like lsd and psilocin, you are not playing games anymore with your dopamine levels or whatnot. you are in the big leagues, and you need all the help and strength you can get. would you go into battle hung over? you would go into battle fucking glistening from the sweat of your raging passion, your eyes and ears and nose ready to explode from your body with the strength of their own awareness. this is how one must approach the deeper mystic experiences, not flippantly, for that displays hubris and ego, which will be reversed upon you tenfold as agony and humility, but with the knowledge that you're about to enter the Deep End of life, the place that is mostly empty because most people are still wading in the shallow end with their purple floaty things on their arms. don't run in the pool (is there a way to have these sorts of discussions without sounding preachy. i sound preachy in the text but i mean it as one friend to another speaking from experience and wishing this being less harm and more fun and fulfillment.)
how do you approach doing shrooms again after your last shroom trip ended terribly? what is the cause of bad trips? to me it's just got to be some kind of confusion regarding you and the moment. some how, some seperation or division is being created between you and what is. but how do you see that when you're caught right in the middle of a terrible sort of situation while tripping on shrooms? i felt like i was collapsing and that my whole world was as well. wisdom of "do nothing"?
You don't, until you're ready. I had the most incredible and profound and EXCELLENT trip on shrooms like 3 months ago, and I'm not ready to do them again yet. And it was PHENOMENAL. Don't rush anything. You're ready when you're ready. It is indeed confusion. But what is confusion? Confusion is only in Mind. The Psilocyn experience is pre-Mind. It is older than Mind. Just as you don't take your body into the mushroom realm, you must also not take your mind. Leave everything behind traveller; you are going home. You have to let go. You will see yourself saying "oh my god the world is burning what's happening what do i do..." . . . catch yourself and say instead "the world is burning." that's it. let it burn. let go. it's ok. knowledge of taoism and such is a great headstart for dealing with mushrooms imo. Don't do anything, indeed It's only a bad trip when you try to fight against a bad trip. It's an ourobourous. You get a bad trip because you're fighting a bad trip because you got a bad trip because you're fighting a bad trip . . . just stop fighting the bad. you wouldn't fight a good trip, would you? then don't fight a bad one. Embrace it as much as the best experience of your life, and let it wash over your surrendered psyche and teach you.
