troubles w/ sex, help?

I am having trouble orgasming during sex. I am able to reach orgasm when i masturbate, but never during sex. I don't quite understand why this is. I've tryed everything i could think of, manual stimulation, vibrator, porn, but nothing helps. I'm thinking the main problem is that my clitoris seems to lose sensitivity during sex, but its only when we have sex that it does this. It is very frustrating. Is there any advice anyone could give me?? it would be very much appreciated, because this situation has been quite a bummer, both my boyfriend and i feel very bad that i can't orgasm during sex

 

How long does your boyfriend last?

 

he can last for like half an hour to 40 minutes, all depending how much time we have

 

Its the fear of letting go that stops your orgasm.

Thats if the foreplay is adequate, which it may not be.

Effective foreplay over a long time gets you there.

The one amazing orgasm in my life took 7+ hours, so if its ten minutes just not long enough.

Most guys its a race to ejaculate, that wont get you to orgasm, women need to caressing, kissing, caressing, kissing before your even wet before even start to think about penetration.

Penetration is the last thing you should do.

So a lot of foreplay for hours on end, then ony when your close to orgasm do you allow your guy inside you.

That means hugging, cuddling, kissing, caressing, caressing, nibling your neck, licking, gentle biting, ...

 

Hi bandana girl,

I am new here, and forgive me if I screwed up the formatting. If you are still searching for advice, I second what GentleBen said.... Plus, I would suggest trying to have an orgasm via masterbation or your boyfriend helping you masterbate at least 3 times before you have sex with him. Get your body in a very high state of arousal, then have him take you.

 

Errr....Or your boyfriend isnt hot enough

 

Why sex? Do you want children. Don't need orgasm to conceive! Otherwise the boyfriend should be happy with cunnilingus, fingering, and (eventually) you or him j/o him, AFTER you have your orgasm. That should all take place after taking Ben's advice.

 

hah
or maybe you just dont have feelings for him.

 

he definitely hot enough so thats not the problem :boxing_smiley:

 

i have very many feelings for him, he's very special and important to me, so that as well is not the problem at all:boxing_smiley:

 

Hi bandana
Try to know your G Spot, as may be during intrcourse , the position with your boy friend dont give you the chance to reach your orgasm, try certain positions which increase the touch of the clitoris such as frensh or doggy styles
also try during intercourse to let your boy friend insert his finger inside your anus, as this will make you more senestative and horny
but realy i dont find problem as since orgasm occur while you masturibate , thats mean you are very normal, but you need to concentrate on your G Spot during love
I am sychologiacal doctor, i hope these advices help you
My best wishes DR / Ashraf

 

we've tried other positions but it doesnt help, i'm just so frustrated with this because i dont find it such a big problem but he does, why cant he just enjoy it? i do.

 

that sounds like it could help at least a little, but i'm thinking he's just not putting enough effort into it, i mean we dont have a lot of time usually, but he could still put some more effort forth because more foreplay could possibly help

 

If he isnt applying oral stimulation to you to the point where you either orgasm or cant stand it anymore and HAVE to have him in you, he isnt doing it right.

 

he must not be doing it right then cuz i personally never find it to feel that great, but he VERY rarely ever gives me oral, so that could be the problem......:frown:

 

What works with masturbation? Have him do what you do.
Do you like oral? If you like it he should do it. Have you blown him? He should return the favor.
You need to expect more out of sex. You're supposed to feel good too, and it's important enough for you to be able to voice it when he's not getting it right and tell him how you want it. He would do the same if he weren't getting satisfaction and you would oblige. He's got to be willing to make the effort though. Talk to him, and actively work on getting it right for you.

 

If only HE finds it a problem then just fake it. Millions others do.

 

Foreplay is paramount, without enough foreplay you're just not going to get wet.

Thinking about it its more about real passion, when your both dripping with sexual lust and hunger for each other, and you're so sexually frustrated that it boils over into a frantic but some what controlled and very gentle but still passionate embrace followed by ....

I think whats missing today is real romance, its like everything these days its cheap and mass produced, everything seems to lack quality.

You look at some of these posts and one thinks no wonder women don't get off.

A womens clitoris is not something to buff with sand paper or rub until it starts to smoke.

I guess you would rub two sticks together vigoressly to start a fire but to try to get a women to orgasm by grinding her vulva with your fingers or thrusting your fingers in and out violently is just plain silly.

Kindness, gentleness, love, care for your partner, its not just the sex act that is important its also the other things that proves you genuinely care about her and want her to experience something magical and special that will ulitmatley bring you closer together.

Orgasm I believe is like the massive bonus points on a pin ball machine.

(I'm getting a bit carried away now) he he he

 

^ Wow.

 

I think GentleBen's partner is a very lucky woman.