I mean really, I'm almost 21 already and cower when I see a girl I think is pretty. I think it started because of a 4 year relationship I was in. I went from trying to pick up high school freshmen, to being a sophomore in college (junior now)...and I guess it doesn't help that I am really subconscious about my sexual performance (not size, elapsed time, even though it's not always bad). I feel kinda ridiculous posting about this but am not sure where else to turn, and I feel like I need someone to be with It's been a lonely couple of years with only a few partners, and only one that meant anything to me, but became waaaay too clingy and started making rules after a couple months, before we were even dating. Sorry, rant over. I would love if anyone can send me any advice. Peace and love!
Which situation are we talking about now? I don't think you'd cower if you were introduced to them. Approaching girls cold...gah! Sorry, I'm a little tired of giving advice on this topic.
You posted this in the Love & Sex forum, so I assume you're thinking about lovin' and sexin' before you even take an interest in talking to the girl. That might be the root of the problem. And I don't mean you have to pretend not to be attracted to them; quite the contrary.
well actually i just realized there is a relationship forum, and asked the same question there. when i saw LOVE i figured that is what this forum was about. sorry if you are sick of giving advice on this topic, but i wasnt there to receive it...so if you dont feel like typing it but could link me, that would be great too.
i just came back to this forum, and only used it previously for the MJ section. sorry im not an expert at this forum yet..
Come on, whats to work out Either you're uncomfortable cos you think too much about love or sex around them, or you're uncomfortable cos you don't want them thinking too much about sex or love around you. If its a girl you describe as pretty, then I'd say its the former. Go make a complete dick of yourself and ask her out, stumble all you want, she'll love it, that she has the power to affect guys that way. Other guys around you will make fun of you and laugh, but at the same time they'll be thinking in their heads "Man, I wish I had the balls to do that". You don't have to worry about her finding out you think she's hot, she and everyone else that sees you together already knows that
dont act fake around her. if you see a girl your interested in, smile. make sure she sees that your interested. "hey " if she smiles back, gooo for it. hottest thing for a guy is confidence, and if you blush, its totally cute. just dont worry. relax, gl
thanks for the help guys. i guess i came because i needed a mix of tips, and a confidence booster. one of my more recent problems is that i have been staying home a lot with my roommate and just smoking and playing music without going out, but now that we are on a month break, its time to start getting out and making new friends and going to parties and such. thanks for the help guys
Yo bro. You just have to have confidence man. Know that they are human just like you and have just as many insecurities about themselves. No body NEEDS someone else to make them happy. You just have to get it into your head that you don't need someone, then it's not really that big of a deal to talk to them. Just come up with your own logic in your head for why you shouldn't me so nervous man. Just tell yourself "I'm attractive, nice , funny" you know whatever because theirs plenty of women no matter your qualities , even if you are a serial killer (hell Ted Bundy got love letters in prison), that will fall in love with you. You just have to know that they aren't doing you a favor by being with you. People want relationships , there is few people who want to just be alone . Just know what you are capable of bro, present yourself in a good manner, a confident one. If you ever wanna talk man just pm me and I will send you my messenger info.
thanks for the tips guys. really setting me straight after being stuck in my own head for a few months.
Well, for starters remember she is feeling the same way on the inside as you are! Watch yourself, so you don't start thinking "I'm the only one who's this way, everyone else is doing fine..." etc, because it sometimes appears that way but it's not. She is nervous, self-conscious too; it's perfectly normal. Anything that gets you talking and breaks the ice is good, just try to feel it, not force it. in other words, smile and just try to be yourself. Imagine saying to someone, I'm sorry, i'm a little nervous. It feels incredibly vulnerable to admit, but people really respond. They understand, and that helps dissolve it. Good luck.
