Problematic relationshit advice needed, thnks

Hi, Im in my early 30's and have been seeing a girl in late 20's for 3 years on and off , mainly on ...We both have problems as individuals - I have some long term health issues which renders me impatient and cranky sometimes, and i need a little more space perhaps then the average guy. She on the other hand is diagnosed with a mental disorder - that being bi-polar. From the start we had problems as i wasnt totally over my ex girlfriend and made the mistake of sleeping with the said ex within the 1st few months. That has been dealt with but since then trust and other problems plague the relationship. She has a high need for attention and when i cant meet those attention needs, she forms bonds online with men she refers to as "friends" i refer to them as guys to run too when things arent going so good between us. I do love the girl , and im sure in her way she loves me too, I have trouble accepting the fact that 24 hours after i say i need some space - she is sleeping with a random off the internet. , I dont think true love involves being able to hook up with others so quickly and often when there is a hiccup between us. i dunno maybe im wrong in thinkin that - , anyhow this has occured even when things have been running smoothly netween us mind you. Within a week we always end up back in each others company,,,

In saying this her argument is "if u committed to me, i wouldnt be acting this way"

I have a real hard time believing that - considering my health issues i feel i am as committed as much as i possibly can be, Im unable to sleep with her in the same bed due to having sleeping troubles, which i understand is frustrating, and on occasion when weve lived together it gets nasty kinda quick do to me feeling suffocated for space.

Anyhow i guess id like advice and opinions regarding the whole ""if u committed to me, i wouldnt be acting this way" i believe its an excuse for her to act out due to her behavioral problems due to mental illness......

thanks for reading

W

 

I don't think this all comes down to her mental issues, I think if you cheated on any woman she would want to spend more time with you if she didn't dump you. It's her way of keeping a eye on you. Her sleeping around could be a way of punishing you for not giving her what she feels like she needs.

Either way you guy seems to be on different playing fields and your probably never going to be a healthy relationship, it may be better to go different ways.

 

Oh i agree , my health issues play a big a part in it as her mental issues do, im sure the sleeping around was punishment at 1st - but i believe its due to habit, she always looks to men for attention as she had very little support from female friends, has no real female friends at all really.

 

Yeah, but alot of women perfer the company of men, I have more guy friends than girlfriends. If she's feeling like she's not getting enough attention it's not surprising that she's looking elsewhere.

 

ha, "i hate girls..." , gotta watch out for any woman that says that ...usually means there all out for attention and cant handle the heat of another women perhaps throwin salt in there game or taking precious attention from a would be boyfriend ....

 

I don't think that sarahrei implied that she hates girls.

 

Indeed, where did I say that I hate girls? It's probably as simple that you don't give her what she needs so she cheats. She probably has some long running loyalty too you or maybe she feels as if you couldn't get someone else because of your physical issues so she always comes back. Honestly if she can find the attention she wants from guys online exactly how much do you do for her anyway?

Also, you want to watch out for guys who put words in your mouth, it usually means that they can't handle the truth.

 

wow

lol

check the science my friend..........

You and her would probably get along really really well,,since when does getting attention online from RANDOMS match up to getting attention in real life from a guy u supposedly love?. Oh ,,,,thats rite - theres a percentage of women out there in 2009, that the internet has run such precise game on, that while they lose every last bit of morality they have , they dont even realize it....

and the comment regarding loyalty ? lmfao - yea, sleeping with randoms is a sure way to do that ...."u dont give her what she wants so she cheats' ...isnt the adult thing to do ,,,to break things off with the person then start fucking around?....guess not in ur world .

She comes back simply because shes hates change, same stupid reason i accept her back

"Honestly if she can find the attention she wants from guys online exactly how much do you do for her anyway?"

funny how in 2009 women feel more for an emoticon in chat then they do a real life relationshit lol. whatta joke.

Guys dont put words in my mouth , i came here looking for advice and came across the exact type of women im already entangled with ,,,thanks a bunch

 

Walter, I agree with pretty much everything you said. Some women let pussy power go to their head. I steer clear of any woman that says she had bipolar disorder. I have known many and it seems like one of the symptoms is lying and cheating. She sounds like she can not be satisfied and will probably always seek constant attention from men. I could be wrong but that is what I gather from what I have read. Good luck to ya man, whatever you decide.

 

In saying this her argument is "if u committed to me, i wouldnt be acting this way"

^ Right there she's trying to blame HER actions on YOU. Wrong.

I can understand her trust in you being broken because you slept with your ex. How long has it been since the last time?

But for her to sleep with random dudes... She sounds like she has self-esteem issues. Many women seek attention from men to validate themselves and it's not healthy. I've known women like this and usually they grew up without proper support and love from their families and/or friends.

She needs to love herself. And to do that, she must do things that make her proud of herself and proud to be alive. Whether that's helping out at charities, creating music, or building something... it needs to make her feel active, smart, and worthwhile.

Good luck.

 

Mothster - i believe ur right regards the never being satisfied bit ,,,altho she doesnt really use her pussy to get what she wants, thats more an attribute of the ex girlfriend - who was a well trained snake in that dept. To answer Sweet petes question , the "cheating" occured 3 years ago .....that issues been pretty much buried.

I have a feeling even if that never occured all this other shit would have come to surface anyhow ...