I'm not gay but...

I am pretty sure I'm not gay, not attracted to men and never have been. However a few years ago I was confused as I sort of stumbled upon anal stimulation which I really liked. I would use objects now and then which gradually got larger but now pretty much abstain from it from fear of causing damage. I some times fantasize about being fucked up the ass while sucking some one off, I would like to suck a dick. Basically I enjoy the sex side of a gay lifestyle (although never actually had sex with another man) but have no interest in men other than there sexual organ.

I just want to know what people think about this. Does wanting to have sex with another man make you gay? Is sex a minor or major part in terms of how people define them selves as gay?

 

sometimes i daydream about being with girls, but i know i'm not a lesbian or bi sexual because i don't feel i'd ever 'love' a girl in such a way.. or date them, or all that kinda emotion i feel towards dudes. you know. we're curious beings

 

That is interesting but I would enjoy (I think) having sex with a man but like you I could not love a man in the way I can a woman. The only desire is the sex aspect of it.

 

Bi- Curious then, the whole lot of you.

 

Part of the confusion comes when people say stuff like this, of course you have interest in men other than their dicks, I'm sure you have at least one plutonic male friend. What you really mean is your not attracted to men other than their dicks.

Anyway, read through enough threads in the Bisexual forum, and you'll see you are not alone in this regard.

As you probably guessed most that label themselves as gay would use love/realtionships as the benchmark, not sex. If I stick my dick in an apple pie, it doesnt make me an American

 

LOL what a batty

 

I wouldn't worry too much about labeling yourself one way or another, the word gay has connotations to most people (ie: good dress sense etc) which can be harmful and limiting. So you have sex with a guy... are you going to change your personality. I personally like guys (and girls) but I can't dance, have no dress sense and would rather stick nails through my eyeballs than watch the sound of music. You also don't have to say to people: 'I'm gay' just because you like to sleep with guys. just do what makes you feel good and don't worry too much about labels.