Hello, How do people around you react to yourself as a gay person?? Has anyone ever noticed a change in someone since you told them?? With regards to me: Home: It was aqward at first as nan didnt accept it but now she has shes returned to sanity.. Work: Half my team are gay so its pretty easy going at work we all one big family yet in previous jobs people have slagged me off in arabic and ive got into a very massive arguement over it.. Social Life: Mates love it think its kewl having a gay friend =) Regards The_Warden
Home: I came out when I was 12 and my parents weren't sure what to do. They were generally cool but clueless. Work: The reaction is generally "so what?" and I've had no problems. School: I get every reaction from "cool...me too" to "that's sick" to "you don't look or act gay." Nothing really awful has happened so far. Social life: Between work and school, I don't have as much time for a social life as I'd really like. It doesn't seem to matter.
Well, I'm only in high school, so I haven't found the need to tell all of my friends yet. I have only told the girls that I hang out with, I'm not ready to tell my guy friends. Since telling them, they have become more open with me. Ther hasn't been much of a change. I don't really think it is neccesary to tell the people I work with, though it wouldn't change anything.
I'm with mushie. I'm in high school, and I have only told a couple of my friends. A couple have been surprised, and a couple haven't been surprised at all. But I don't think I want to tell my guy friends until it becomes more important to me. I don't want my friendships to become awkward. A lot of the jokes my friends and I make with each other are pretty sexual, and I don't want my friends to be afraid to say "suck my dick" to me just because I'm gay.
My Mom knew , all along , people at my school knew because I didnt bother to hide it there , i think my dad knws, though I never told him and he has never asked , but I have never encountered any huge negative encounters over it...other than some guys who thought I wanted their girls.
My family reacted very badly at first. I was thrown out of the house and told to stay away from my younger cousins. *this is where an eye roll smiley would go* They have since mellowed out, though it has taken a couple of years. Most adults (that aren't related to me) have no problem with it, but I don't exactly say I'm gay when I shake their hand for the first time. Come to think of it, most high school age kids that I know don't have a problem with it, either. I'm typing this while my 14yo freshman son is having his friend over for the night. My son's friend's parents are a cop and a schoolteacher (and heavy duty Christians), and they've been totally cool. For the most part I think you'll find that it is the people closest to you who will have the worst reaction, at least initially. After all, they've spent years thinking of you in a certain way. It's hard to adjust. Even if they completely reject you, it is possible to choose your own family. I've done it. Now that my family has accepted me again, I have two families (plus my queer brothers and sisters of course). And being gay does make you sort of popular nowadays -C
I go to a Catholic high school in Massachusetts (very liberal place of course) and aside from having to hear how being gay is wrong almost daily in religion class and having to argue with the religion teachers all day people are pretty accepting. I've only been called a derogatory name once and it was by someone who didn't know I was gay, who uses it alot as an insult to everyone, and who is a retard anyways. Not saying that was right but at least he didn't mean to say it to me for the reason that I was gay. A lot of girls have attempted to befriend me for the sole reason I was gay but I have rejected them because I realize they wouldn't be my real friends. I gained alot of friends both guys and girls because I became more social when I came out so I am pretty popular now. I know people who don't know me say bad stuff about me because they judge me for being gay (almost totally just the football players who are just insecure in their own sexuality probably) , but what can I do except for befriend more people and dehomophobize them? I'm a lot less accepted in my own home, while my parents won't stop me from dating or whatever they believe it is just a phase.
Nothing interesting so far. Mostly just a "Oh, okay" or "Woah I really wouldn't've expected that," though admittedly, due to repeated movement around continents etc, I've only really come out to one person in person before. That person also happened to be a girl that (suprise, suprise) "likes gay guys". I've told many male friends over MSN and the reactions have been slightly different. The one friend (one of my best friends) was a bit surprised - okay with it, but just found it a bit unexpected. The other dude is bi so he was like "okay whatever, I know what its like", and another friend was completely fine with it and when I asked if he was surprised (to see if I behave camply ever) he became rather indignant stating that he wasnt homophobic. I think often, as many of you have confirmed, its much easier to come out to girls as most of the time they "love gay guys" and other guys generally don't, but it does depend where you go. Just one other thing! Coyote - you say you're gay, but you have a son..how does that work? Adoption? Or did you have a child before you realised that you were gay?
Only one person has ever acted negatively toward me about it. That was in college. At work I let people figure it out on their own. As long as people don't think I'm trying to convince them it's 'right' or change their views, they don't care. It's really fun to watch people when they start to figure it out. The 'questions' they ask are too funny. Any friends that I have ever told were great about it. I'm very blessed to have family and friends that are accepting. My mom's boyfriend even bought land down from my spot. How cool is that? I know there are still people out there who are ignorant, but over the last 20 years (God I sound old ) things have changed. People are becoming more knowledgable and aware.
me um at home my mum thinks it is a stage and my brothers and father dont know at school only 1 friend knows (and he is not gay) at work i know a gay guy who i originally came out to and i have told some of the girls there and they luv me for that aspect social life; the girls luv me for it and the guys are ok (but only a few know)
told my mom, she was cool about it, though she has made some comments that made me uncomfertable, she still cares and all though, at school people are either sickened or asses or say it's cool. The asses are either typical"your a fag"asses or the asking you perverse"is he hot?""would you do him?""would you suck this guy in y porno magazine?" sometimes the not caring people are too. But whatever, it's cool with me, it's cool with my friends, it's cool.
Home(family): They are taking it well. Most are supportive and helpful. Some people just distance themselves from the issue but are polite about it. Work: Only gay man at my work that is known. There is a lesbian asst manager but she isnt a nice person as is. Kindda akward at times but people aren't much different from before they knew for the most part. Most people just go about their business as usual, the way it should be. Social Life: Slowly working out in the social aspect. Only a few people know but those who do have taken it well. Most seem to be ok with having me as a "gay friend".
It is very interesting to see so many guys saying they have came out to their friends who are girls, but not to their male friends. It's weird how guys seem to be generally much more prejudiced and homophobic than women.
Most of the male posters in this thread are under 25 though, If I was under 25 and posting in here, I'd be saying much the same things. I found it all shifted rather dramatically once I and those my age got past 25. Guys tend to calm down a bit more, that initial reaction shifts from icky/angry in some, to talk of frustrations with the opposite sex; their marriage, "freedom", what women want?. I try tell them , no dude, gay guys can get just as jealous and bitchy as the girls, but they dont believe me or care, so that unspoken discrimination is still there. Girls, different set of rules once you get past 25, start to look like a man and encounter girls your age having trouble landing a husband. Different set of rules again once you get to the age where you start to look like everyone elses dad. Girl half your age that really loves her dad, sees you, finds out you are gay and you look similar to her dad, then you get that look, I know what "that" look means; "Well, if he's gay and he's like my dad......" I can't hack that look, like telling a 3 yr old Santa doesnt exist
People have been mostly fine, not a lot has really changed. Maybe the occasional dogmatic remark from a friend here and there, but then some have warmed up to the idea also. And I mean that in a 'I think it's there turn to step out of the closet also' type of way.
Home: My parents forbade me from being bi when I came out when I was 17 Work: N/A Social: I go to a Christian college (as per my parents decision, and since they're paying the majority of my tuition, I have to obey) therefore almost all of my friends here would freak if they knew the truth, and in fact only a few close friends here at college and back home know anymore. The rest either never knew or believe it was "just a phase" the one's who know are cool with it though, lol as long as I don't hit on them (most of the girls of course lol)
Been a while since I've been on here... Family: My mom knows (becaue she knows everything), but doesn't say anything about it. Nobody else knows. Social: The girls are fine with it, I think. One guy says he doesn't care but is always going on about "gay this" and "fag that" and sends me pictures of "AIDS: The Gay Plague". Work: What few people I'm out to don't mind, they just find it annoying when someone is...annoyingly flamboyant (which I'm not). Most people at school don't have a problem, though most of them don't know cause it's not exactly obvious...
