I'm gonna change what I said earlier a little bit ... I like being in 69 position. I'm just not very good at trying to do stuff for him while he's licking me. I do like to fondle his cock a little, but that doesn't take much concentration. I've found that if I fondle him while he's doing me, he stays much more attentive. It keeps him interested, I guess ...
I think it's OK to relax - I don't think everything has to happen at once. My GF always likes to be more of a reveiver, and that's fine. I'm kind of a control freak, so making sure she has a good orgasm first always makes the outcome more enjoyable for me. I love her when she's "totally relaxed" anyway!
For some reason my gal hates being on top but I love being on the bottom so I always end up being on the top :-( I think its because she thinks that on top she's sticking her bum in my face half the time - unfortunately she just hasn't figured out I like that. Strangely on top I just feel like I'm sticking... my cock in her face. But unlike her being on top she actually gets better access when she's on top vs. my access of her on top. I'm not really into 69 for the blowjob anyway... I just want to eat her out all night long.