Drug testing folly...EPIC Failure (kinda funny)

Ok, had a perfect job lined up through an employment agency. The only problem was I had MJ in my system. So I got my girlfriend to piss in a pill bottle for me, wrapped it in hot hands so it would be the right temperature, and duct taped it to the inside of my leg/groin area. Seemed like the perfect plan.

I get to the employment agency, fill out my paperwork and all that BS and then on to the drug test. They give me the cup and I go into bathroom and pull the old switcheroo. Here is where it all went wrong. I decided to tape the bottle back to my leg so no one would see this big bulge in my pocket. I come out of the bathroom and while my they are analyzing the results I could feel the tape beginning to fail. I am standing there praying this shit doesn't fall out of my pants leg.

They're like, "Ok, you passed call this number and set up your orientation." I start to leave and it falls to my ankle but not all the way out yet, so I try to walk very slowly so it doesn't come all the way out. The lady asks me, "Are you limping?" I say, "No, I'm fine." So now I need to pick up the pace and it happens. It hits the floor with a thud and they all turn around.

Needless to say I didn't get that job. So embarrassing.

Lots of things I could have done to prevent this. This kinda shit happens to me a lot. I have the worst luck.

 

Yeah thats dumb.

I passed one the other day with this, but i think i didnt keep it warm enough, but she just without really checking had already checked the box for the temp being ok on her computer and hit enter, and then she felt it right after it had gone through, kind of had an unsure reaction, and shrugged it off and told me to have a good day.

Just started the job today so its all good.

 

Damn, looking back on it I could have just thrown it in the garbage in the bathroom, or put it back in my pocket. I guess I was trying to be too sneaky. Its ok though I found another job the next day paying the same, only its a little farther away, the one I could have had was right down the road.

 

That's why it is typically suggested to have the urine in a tied-off condom. They don't bust and it's impossible to notice. Since you have another job and just so you don't drop the ball and get fired... as a rule, if you come to work the first day stoned, then you need to come to work every day stoned. If you come to work the first day sober, then you need to come to work every day sober.

If you mix it up and come to work different every time, people will notice.

 

True ^^

 

funny shit

 

Yeah thats kind of true, I just got a new job, the first few days i went in stoned, but since i ran out of money and am waiting to clear the first pay period i havent had shit, so the first day i go in sober someone asks me what ive been smoking.

People that dont smoke weed and try to talk like they know shit about it are fucking dumb.