Just got this in an email. Thought it was hilarious mostly becasue I have a dog and 4 cats. Had to share... *DOG DIARY* > > 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! > 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! > 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! > 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! > 12:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! > 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! > 3:00 PM - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite > thing! > 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! > 7:00 PM - Got to play tug! My favorite thing! > 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite > thing! > 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! > > > > > > *CAT DIARY* > > Day 983 of my captivity. > > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little > dangling objects. > They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates > and I am fed hash > or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt > for the rations > perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order > to keep up my > strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of > escape. > > In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the > carpet. > > Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body > at their > feet. > > I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since > it clearly > demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely > made > condescending comments about what a 'good little > hunter' I am. > Bastards! > > They continue to pick me up and handle me, an obvious > attempt to > subvert me. > > There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices > tonight. I was > placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the > event. > > > > However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I > overheard that > my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' > I must learn what > this means, and how to use it to my advantage. > > Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate > one of > my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. > I must try this > again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. > > I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies > and snitches. > > The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly > released -- and > seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously > retarded. > > Tonight I will again lay on their heads while they sleep > and hope to > smother them.
That's one of my favorites! Haha, I think about it every time I take Zephyr on a walk, because he's always overjoyed and happy. I think that dog might one day smile himself into cardiac arrest.
that is hilarious... I like cats who get stuck on the curtains though. I wonder what they are thinking then... probably humliated!
