Ever told someone you love them when it was too late

I don't want to give a long, drawn out, sappy story, but...

I did, and it kind of sucks. This girl and I have been friends since we were about 5. We dated in high school for a few months, but like an idiot, I broke up with her. About a year ago, when she and her boyfriend broke up, I told her I loved her and always had, but she was already seeing someone else. He's in the Air Force and stationed in Germany. For the past 3 months she has been over there. She came home Sunday and last night her and I stayed up drinking till about 4 in the morning. Her and I have always been extremely close. We hang all over each other, spend just about all the time we can together, are very open with each other. People all the time think we are a couple and say we should be. We probably have the best friendship anyone could ask for.

The guy she married is the typical, conceited, cocky ass military brat. They are polar opposites and he's also abusive. A week before she left to come home, he had her pinned on the ground and slammed her face on the floor, almost breaking her nose. She doesn't call it abuse because she says it's not if she hits him back in defense, which she does - it's idiotic. About a month ago she found out that he had been cheating on her with other girls - mind you they've only been together a year and married for 5 months so far and also found out when he was here visiting, he went behind her back and out with two of his exes - the week of their wedding.

Anyways, it all seemed to be fine when she was gone, but last night we were lying in her bed, drinking, her head in my lap - because "just friends" do that sort of stuff, and it just hit me that I love this girl and she's married to scum. I overheard her on the porch talking to a friend. He asked her why she didn't marry me instead and she was just going on about how I'm her best friend and...well, that was basically all she said.

I don't know. It just sucks. That's my ramble for the day. I'll include a lil' picture of us for the fucking hell of it.

 

WOW, man. That's a hell of a story. I've been through similar situations, but look on the bright side: there are plenty of fish in the sea. Keep your head up and stay positive. She'll always be a great friend.

 

Yeah. I'm trying to do that. I also know if we were to get together, it would only complicate things, but it goes against every feeling I have. I don't usually let it get me down, but last night it sort of did and the funny thing is, she can read me like a book, so she knew it the entire time when nobody else did.

 

Wow. I can't say I have been in a similar situation. I have never fallen for a friend. But.. I have been in love with someone I can't be with. Which is a horrid feeling. And I know how no matter how much you tell yourself there are other fish in the sea, or hell, even date those other fish in the sea, the thought of that other person will always be there.

It makes me sad to hear about the relationship she is in. Although she does sound like a rather strong individual, I don't quite understand why she is putting up with that shit! We do silly things when we're in love.. don't we?

If you need to talk feel free to message me.

 

Fuck all that, it's never too late. Especially if the guy is as much of an asshole as he sounds like. Go for it - she deserves better, and you deserve to be the one who gives it to her. You will regret it if you don't at least try. And know that at least one hopeless romantic random guy on the internet is pulling for you!

 

Thanks, man. Last night it was pretty awkward between us, but not in such an awkward way. We got pretty stoned last night together and ended up sitting on her couch for hours. After our 30 minute burst of giggling and laughter we kind of just got in a chill mode. She had her legs across me with her head and hand on my chest. Every 5 minutes or so she'd lift her head up quick, look at me, smile and put her head back down. At one point my hand ended up down her shirt massaging her cleavage (not grabbing or anything, just swooping my finger back and forth). She was also questioning me on why I broke up with her and telling me how she thought I was sexy with my hair in a ponytail (as she put it in a ponytail). I know I probably could have went in for the kiss and probably more, but she was extremely high, so I didn't. So,

I know feeling are there, but I'm reluctant to act on them because 1) she was stoned and 2) she is still married and I don't want to be a reason she does something she may regret.

 

Well dont do anything adulterous, I'm not condoning marital infidelity here...

All I'm saying is.. when I was in roughly your position, I just told her how I felt and that I wanted her to leave the other dude and get with me, straight up. We had a similar long history of friendship and some dating/sex episodes in our past, I broke it off with her (rather rudely too) and she got with another dude, was with him for 2 years and engaged when I came back into her life.

We've been together 14 years now, lived together 9 of those, been married for 5.

I'm not going to lie - it was rough. But the thing is, we were best friends - we already knew we could trust each other implicitly, and we knew it was worth it to get through the rough part. Now, 14 years later we're still best friends, still madly in love/lust, and we still LIKE to be with each other, we don't run out of things to talk about, we explore ourselves and each other as equals, in mind, body and soul... its worth it man. She wont regret it.

 

Yeah, I really don't want to cause her to do anything adulterous. Not that I give two shits about her husband, I just wouldn't want it to upset her.

Congrats about your relationship. It's hard nowadays to find something real like that. She knows how I feel, but I haven't told her in a long while. Maybe she's had an eyeopener or something. I'm fairly certain something will come along, especially after last night. It seems like there is no way it couldn't.

 

If you want her to know how you feel, you need to tell her again.
Many women (people) want to hear it often.

 

Definitely tell her again. And tell her WHY you love her so much. She wanted you to do it last night - that's why she was asking about "why you broke up"... she is putting herself out there as much as she can at this point, you need to put yourself out there to meet her now. Tell her again, tell her why, repeat as needed.







Don't be fairly certain it will come along, make it happen!

 

Alright, I'm going to go over and see her tomorrow. I could go tonight, I know she's awake...but I'm exhausted.

I'll let you know what happens.