If HF was a ship...

just when i thought failboats couldnt make me lol anymore...

 

This is my favorite.

 

My life is shit right now, I come on here to make fun of people, be a racist, hit on the men and sometimes women and generally get my lulz.

Because things are lacking here I've resorted to spending time watching TV and being around my parents. My parents cry too easily so making fun of them is not fun.

Fix your shit RT and make me happy for fucks sake.

 

i miss jess hitting on me. i might kill myself soon.

 

Your death would just psh me over the edge.
I bought amaretto because it was on sale.

 

Some friends bought this "Eye Opening" drink because it was on sale.

It's like shit vodka mixed with cough syrup tasting cherry juice. Some nasty ass shit.

 

Imma steal that girls dress in your siggy jess.
That dress would be pretty on me, and she would be prettier naked

 

what do you make with amaretto? we went on an amaretto kick a coupleyears ago.

 

if there is one rule I live by it is NEVER buy pre-mixed beverages.

 

It wasn't pre-mixed, it was just flavored, like... Brunette's style.

 

I buy whatever the fuck I can at this state of brokeness.
I'm gonna find a dead horse in my bed soon enough...
At least then we can have a decent meal

Roberto Cavalli is an amazing designer, I love his stuff.

I made amaretto sours and just chugged the stuff like the dirty indian I am.
The windex is looking pretty good.

 

i had a bottle of $7 wine. forwent the glass, because i'm classy.

i like sours. whiskey sours are dank, but i hate most sour mix.

i like RC too but can't afford shit right now. i'm praying we will make it back to austin. we are def not gonna make it to canada

 

its one of my goals in life to own a roberto cavalli dress

 

i cringe at $50 new purses right now and my current one is all kinds of fucked

 

My future plan is to marry rich.

either that or porn.

 

sadly i am in love with a musician

 

.....don't discredit me of my value!

 

musicians can be rich
if you play your cards right

 

but if we got big we probably couldn't post here anymore

 

I don't play cards. I play the spoons.