This. OK, maybe he should know what you're thinking, but only in the same way you should want to fuck all the time. It's a gender divide, and it's not fair to ask him to constantly understand you when you almost immediately misunderstood him. I'm playing devil's advocate here, btw.
Oh beleive I do want sex 24/7 just not pity sex or whatever. I dont understand what you meant by misunderstand him? could you explain?
I'm saying with relative certainty that no guy in the world ever has pity sex. We just don't. It's very much a girl thing.
Not so sweetie. If your OB gives you the green light, you can have sex until your water breaks. Sorry, not trying to pick, but figured I'd clarify. I was still having sex, although it was quite tricky, when I was nearly 9 months pregnant with my twins a year and a half ago. Very hard to do, but my OB had no problems with it. It depends on your particular situation really. Much peace...
FallenFairy, my heart goes out to you. I can only imagine the emotional pain you have to deal with. I think that a lot of times, the way that a man feels comfortable expressing his love or concern is through sex. I know that with myself, if I'm upset (be it his fault or not) my husband tends to use sex as a way to say "I'm sorry, I love you so much, I'm here for you" So, I wouldn't view your fiance's actions of one of just pity. Maybe that is his way of "comforting" you. I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a trauma as a child. No one should have to endure such a thing as you did. Much peace and healing to you...
read the first post. my initial thought. the guy's a creep. a heartless bastard, and i think it's sick that he could do that after hearing what you said..im sorry.
please dont judge your man too harshly,i think that i can explain to you why this happened.your previous experience of being abused was suddenly highlighted and your man was unwittingly responsable.i believe that he is very upset at the thought of what happened to you.his mind was and still is at a loss with what to do to comfort you.he feels really frustrated because he cant protect you from this experiance by travelling back in time to kill this man.his pride is hurt by his belief that he somehow permitted this thing to happen to you while under his care.this is a response that mens egos create.its a macho thing.if this latest thing had happened in public,maybe a bar or somewhere with a large amount of men.there is no doubt at all that you man would cause a fight with someone in order to salve his feeling of inadequecy.the only way he could try to make things right is by trying,without having to explain,to show you and reassure you at the same time that he loves and will protect you.he feels really uneasy about the subject and wanted to show his love and support for you in the only other way he knew.i hope you can forgive him his pride because he does love you.
ok you know what? this may piss you off but take it from someone who has been sexually abused, and fucked up emotionally. I'm not going to get into what happpened to me but I'm going to be real with you about what you need to do. You should not have gotten involved with this person in the first place. You need someone sensitive enough to care for you and your emotional needs. But now you are pregnant. There's nothing you can do about it now. Feeling sorry for yourself and asking others to feel sorry for you does nothing but focus on the negative things in your life. YOU NEED CHANGE!! You need to find someone away from your hometown and away from your boyfriend to take you in and care for you. If you don't know anyone... find a friendly stranger or go to a commune house. This man does not act like a man. He acts like a selfish child and you don't need that in you or your child's life. I'm not saying you need to keep him away from your baby, but you can't live miserably with this selfish person and expect your child not to pick up the negative habits that go on in the house. After you have your baby, go get a job or go to school. It will be so hard but you and your child's happiness are worth the work right? You need to take charge of your life. Take the control you lost as a child and rule your life with it now. If your man won't rub your back or feet when you ask, how do you expect him to help care for this baby. He even instills guilt in you. This is an unhealthy situation and you need to find somewhere, ANYHWERE, where you can make your life a happy one and stable one. You are going to have a child and you need to think about what is best for him or her. Give them the great childhood you wish you could have had.
