I wrote these last night. I wouldn't call them poems, I'm not much of a poet...just some words. The thing is, i'm never sure if I get a point across with my words or if it just sounds meaningless. I write mostly for my self, but still. Any comments appreciated
Free Will second handedly torn from the equation i was thinking that you meant singlehandedly not second handedly. but maybe this addresses the fact that im not quite making sense of these works. what did you mean to convey with the said composition. the first one i mean. i admit, that expressing how one feels about society is very difficult. it will make sense to you for sure. but to an audience im not sure, as most have particular views on the subject. simple pure and natual are what makes me take a liking. i really enjoyed the second poem. especially Bliss I find in the silence that follows these feelings leave no regard for choice great line. something intense has happened. positive or negative. it demanded unsustainable energy. after the fact was bliss. you found an outlet. whether good or bad, what has happened gave one no choice to control the outcome. thus, the disregard. let me know if im some what correct. bravo.
Hmm.. See, even I have to think about what I wrote and where it came from sometimes... I guess what I meant by free will being second handedly torn from the equation is that we as humans still have the the option to choose freedom, if each and every one of us chooses to do so, but the majority of us are brainwashed in apathy and think "that's just the way it is", unmotivated to evolve to freedom, relying on someone else to get us there...and that someone else is [the president, the government, superindustrialized society,] who got us where we are in the first place. secondhand: received from or through an intermediary nobody can just TAKE AWAY our free will. they tricked us into thinking we don't have any by making us reliant on them (this being the intermediary?). It's not so direct, we CAN take it back. does that make sense? that being said, I suppose second handedly is not the best word to use to get that point across, but whatever. haha this explanation ended up longer than I expected it to be.
