Child Support and Jail

I have a friend who is out of work and can't pay his child support. He is disabled and I feel really bad for him. His drivers license has been revoked and he can't get a job in his field or any other field because of what is hanging over him. He uses my address as his. The police keep coming out looking for him and I am at a loss as to what to do.

I would appreciate any feed back especially from someone who has been in a similar situation.

He is a good friend but hey this is making me crazy....

 

pay his back child support or have him go do the six months in jail.

some states have a work program they can put him in to work it off as well.

really that is the only options. and yes i am positive about this as i just paid my old ladies back child support to keep her from going to jail.and yes the lawyer told us these are the only options. the court does not care why you cant pay,thats just the way it is..

 

What state is he in? If there is already a bench warrant for his arrest, there is little if anything that can be done without the cooperation of the child's mother in some states. Get him a lawyer. Google fathers rights and you may get lucky and find one close that is willing to help or at least provide guidance.

 

The ex wife will not co operate and he can not afford a lawyer if he could he would not be in this situation to begin with. Looks like he will eventually end up in jail. He can't get a job because his license was suspended which is why he is in this situation.

It seems kind of crazy though to take their drivers license and put them in jail when they get behind. I think it contributes to the problem as well as causes deep resentment. How does it help anything?

 

As far as the courts opinion, it lowers the flight risk. Tell your buddy to buck up and face the music, my friend was out of work and they allowed him to pay it off slowly. Until he faces a judge or makes some money up he's SOL.

 

Family court and family law are a completely separate thing from say criminal court. All the laws except a few are "grey areas". He needs to go to domestic relations and straighten this out. I am out of work and there is a program through domestic (Pennsylvania) that can help him if he goes to them. Not if they come and get him. He needs to man up (sorry but he does) and straighten this out. If he needs his license to perform his job, they may not be able to keep it. But he will have to prove that he needs it. His words mean nothing, he needs paperwork. Domestic relations is a nightmare for fathers. Believe me, I've been dealing with them almost 15 years now. He needs to setup a conference at domestic and explain his situation and ask them if there is any help that they can provide him. Then he needs to hope for the best.

 

I had a friend in a similar situation. He lost his job, and even though he found a new one right away it was at much lower pay to start. He went to court to have his child support lowered and the judge basicaly told him too bad. He ended up haveing to move back in with his parents because he couldn't afford to pay rent and child support. The worst part is that his Ex makes more money then he does and lives rent and morgage free in a condo that he bought outright with an inheritance when they were married. He gave her the place when they split up because he wanted his son to have a stable home and this is how she repays him.

 

^^^^^

yep, dillis scum bag ex filed on her 2 years after she quit a well paying job that was slowly working her to death (long story on how he wound up with the kid 2 years later,sneaky bastard) she had not worked since but the judge ordered child support based on those wages. she has filed 3 times to have her child support lowered and the judge has said the same thing "tough shit"..

i always thought the system was designed to fuck the fathers,now i realize its to fuck whoever gets thrown into it be it mother or father..

 

Thanks for all the replies. I wish that jail wasn't his only option.

 

Tell your buddy to take all the contraband out of his pockets ("Don't worry, I'll look after it.") and walk into a police station.

He's not going to get current any time soon, so the warrant isn't going away. And it would be better if he was able to plan when the warrant is going to catch up to him.

 

It isn't. But being a man, and stepping up to attempt to straighten this out on his own will go a long way in determining how this will work out.

 

Of course you are right on on this. I hope he can see it the same way.

 

That is a real f***ed up situation. Im a female and as bad as this sounds but its real sad and disgusting how back stabbing and horrible women can be when they want to be. It really pisses me off about how the court system is, allowing women to use the money on everything but the children and still gives them more.
The court system makes the father pay so they don't have to pay.
But you know karma is a b*tch and that whore will get what she gives back.

 

A letter to the judge is treated just like what the person is writing about. For Example, a letter saying he can't pay would be treated as a motion to modify support, and a date would be set to address that.

I work with child support cases everyday, and I've seen examples of pretty much everything. In not one case I've seen, has the man been put in jail because he COULDN'T pay. THE JUDGE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND! Men get put in jail when they stop paying(for whatever reason), and don't tell anyone. They arrest you and hold you until you see the judge and explain to him why he had to send people out to get you for not paying. That's it. If you schedual a hearing yourself, the judge will hear you. If you aren't working, he will modify the support suit so that you don't have to pay until you are working again. That's it.

Dont be afraid that you'll get arrested if you go to the hearing! The whole point of arresting you to begin with, is to explain to the judge why you've stopped paying.

Just be prepared to have a REALLY good reason why you made the judge send people out to get you. lol.

 

Thank you Amanda. In what capacity do you deal with child support cases?

 

BULLSHIT! we just went through this with the state of new york not 2 months ago.

maybe some judges will,but i can tell you first hand,even with a lawyer the judge was going to throw dilli in jail even though she lives in georgia and hasnt worked in 2 years because of back support.

its fine to say "where i am at they",but dont make sweeping generalizations based on the area you work at and say thats the way it is because we are living proof its not.

if they will throw a mother with custody of one of her children in jail over back support,they sure as hell will throw a man with custody of no children in jail for back support.

 

I don't know your friend so I can't make any kind of judgement of his character. But it does happen that the good ones get thrown out with the bad ones. And sometimes it's not all black and white. I had a wonderful father who goes above and beyond and who sometimes tried to get out of paying child support. I have a wonderful mother who was never once a manipulative bitch who sometimes had to fight tooth and nail to get that childsupport. Seen from the outside they both could have appeared to be some shit parents. I know a guy that won't leave his terrible wife because he's afraid that the courts will give his children to their abusive mother. The laws were made to protect the children when the parents may not being thinking to do that too much. But like anything else it has been manipulated. And the impartial Judges are just humans. That is one of the many flaws in our system.

If your friend is a loving father who has just fallen on hard times (God knows so many of us have) I hope that he is able to avoid jail time and work something else out. But like it was said. He needs to man up. If he's a guy that made a kid and now doesn't want to take care of it, then I hope they do what it takes to get that money to the kid. But I'm not making any kind of judgement since I do not know him. Hope it all works out how it should, rather.

 

It helps none.

Just like charging high interest rates to someone who has less money... how does that make sense???

"Don't know what you've got till its gone"... this system is slavery, no piece of paper says I can drive, *I* say I can drive... what gives someone else the right to take something of real value - my freedom/my life - because I didn't acquire enough/sign the right/use the right PAPER????

NOTHING gives someone the right to do things like this... absolutely nothing!

its not "the way it is".. its "the way you make it".

I do not tolerate the nonsensical tyranny this thread refers to... I will not even examine the illogical nature of this particular situation, any thought directed will show that everyone is losing and its ENTIRELY the fault of someone who had a grudge way back when - and someone agreed with them.

Laws are not absolute... someone wrote something and someone lives by it... collectively we decide whether or not to live by what someone wrote, but it is always our decision!!!!

Nobody should be put in jail for any reason... what does locking someone in a room direct someone to do? Stare at the walls that contain them? What good comes of that?

What growth may be the result of containment???? Its as if someone believes that a rose will bloom in a closet! Obviously this is not true!

 

I tend to agree with most of what you are saying crankyelbow. I think the only law ought to be that we love one another. I think it is crazy to jail a man or woman because they are having problems paying their bills. Supposedly there is no debtors prison but tell that to the ones locked up for non support and for not paying taxes...

The person in question here is disabled and is doubly disabled by not being able to have a drivers license because it is a requirement of the work that he does. Not to mention he is getting older and believe me older people are being grossly discriminated against in these hard economic times.

No he is not able to collect disability because he is a little bit of a dumbass when it comes to jumping thru the hoops necessary to get disability.

 

I dunno mama, goodluck though, im in a VERY similar situation as farmerJ's friend, have to live with my rents cause i dont have a good job(have a degree, have awesome skills, just cant find shit that pays at all)...but still even with all my love and what I do give towards my daughter, its still not enough

where I can barely afford a 1 dollar hamburger, my babymama can go spend 90 bucks of foodstamps without a blink of the eye, yet they want me to give her money...and the state, more money....its crazy, dissent may insue =)...goodluck to your buddy, he needs it...I think it'll work out, some bullshit hoops to jump through like you said, maybe getting his license back and back to work with him! slave!... hah

and crankyelbow I totally agree with you, but for now its a utopian vision that the minority understand... we have a long ways to go!...keep your head up and never forget the things you know to be true!