Wives with other men

A few years ago I returned from work and my wife told me about watching a show about swingers. This particular show had shown men who wanted two women and indicated "that every man fantasized about having two women". She asked me if that was true.

I told her I didn't see how a man could handle two women and it was obvious that a woman could satisfy two men, but a man could not satisfy two women. She said it sounded like I had given it some thought. I told her that I thought about everything; however, that didn't mean I could handle it emotionally. I admitted masturbating to this very fantasy and also told her that if I was sure that she would not loose affection for me that I could handle her having two men.

I really wondered if I could handle it, but the more I thought about it the hornier it made me. I began making sure she knew where I was and how long I'd be gone and I left her on her own especially when I knew she would be around old friends, especially her old school functions etc. I encouraged her to have time out with her sisters and friends. I had basically given her permission and I knew she was considering it. Before long I noticed her style of dress was slightly more revealing and her hair was styled in her natural waves rather that a stiff style. She would occassionally call and tell me that her a some girl friends would be out late and not to wait up on her. I would always say I was tired and going to bed, "have fun".

One night I woke up having to pee about 2:00 in the morning and heard the shower running. I picked up her panties in the floor and the crotch was soaked with semen. I was stunned and remember my lips felt numb. This was my first real evidence she was screwing around. I carefully put them back and returned to bed. After that when she would call I would get such an erection it would hurt knowing what she was up to.

 

I'm sort've the opposite of a feminist. I feel that the male is ostracized in modern society (because of the prevailing feminism). And the high amount of things like this and male-submission going on really bother me.

However; glad it makes you happy. Have you thought about talking to her about it? Would that kill the fantasy for you?

 

Feeling a bit insecure ?

 

Good lord, at least ask her to use condoms if she is gonna sleep round a bit. I know you want to play with her sometimes too.

 

Nope, not at all.
I feel wrongly prosecuted.

I'm not the stereotypical male at all, and I don't find most are. Yet, even males perpetuate the old gender identities, and it seems like everyone these days hate men, including men.
This isn't right at all.
The feminists are right about the gender identities being fucked, however, they tend to be the worst pushers of them.

As far as the high amounts of male submission bothering me, it's because of what it reflects. Personally, I find sex is best when both parties have a nice mix of sub and dom; however, this isn't fully relevant.
It seems to me like the gender roles are just sort've slowly switching, while, the current male identity crisis is pushing them into extremely messed up positions mentally. (Though I want to make clear that I don't think there is necessarily something wrong with someone with kinks (or an extremely submissive side), as I have a lot of them myself, but they do tend to reflect mental states, and that includes the bad aspects.)

 

It just seems to me you have issues with strong women who are confident about their sexuality. If you are feeling persecuted, perhaps you are looking in the wrong place for partners. There are plenty of women out there looking for traditional relationships.

 

Nope, not at all. My girlfriend and I tend to be on equal footing in the bedroom and each bounce back and forth from the dominant/submissive roles.

It's the society overall that I feel is anti-male; individuals, not as much.


I really wish OP would post again. I would like to know what he thinks motivates this fantasy.

 

He did, just not here. I guess he was looking for a more supportive answer.

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=272579&f=283

 

See, I wish I could open up like this with my fiance but I am violently jealous when it comes to cheating - if I ever found out she was with another man I would murder him relentless of whether he knew about me or not. At the same time this stifles me because I will never stray away from us having a fair relationship and I very much want to travel around having sex with anyone I find chemistry with.

I refuse to be unfair to her and I refuse to be a hypocrite by holding her up to a standard I won't follow myself, so I'm stuck dreaming.

 

You want to talk about someone being the ultimate hypocrite, I'm totally fine with banging a buddy's wife with her consent, but the thought, let alone the actual act of someone else banging my wife, pisses me off to no end.

Yeah, I know I should "get over it" and not have such a despicable double standard. Better yet if I'm going to be that hypocritical it would be best for me to cease joining in with my buddy to penetrate his significant other.

 

That's a completely different story.
This dude's full of shit.

And you're a fucking prick. Telling him I'm glad it makes him happy is completely supportive. Just because I don't have a hundred percent shared view with you doesn't mean you should talk down to me, you hypocritical asshole.
You try to come off like I'm intolerant however, you are the one being unfair with me.

I expressed that overall the frequency of things like this worries me, and seems to reflect poor things about the identity of the modern male. I however, in no way disagreed with a person pursuing such interests, or discriminated against those that do.
So lose the condescending attitude, and learn how to be less narrow-minded.

 

but female submission doesn't bother you i suppose?

 

Seems like I hit a nerve.

 

Nope, neither does male submission. If you think it does, then you are either not reading what I am saying or discarding the specifics with bias.
(In fact it is something I have some limited interest in trying some day, after I try all the things that interest me more.)


The frequency of male submission bothers me. Not because male submission is a bad thing. Not because it's dirty. Not because they aren't 'real men'. If you think any of these are my reasons, you are discriminating against me, plain and clear. I have already made it ridiculously clear that none of this has anything to do with it.
It's the diminished male identity (that this submission reflects) that I do have a problem with. And the feminist thought that prevails DESPITE this.



Ideally both sexes would be on an even plane.

You've annoyed me. I think I've gotten to you much more fundamentally. That's why you shrank in your little corner and tried to throw implications that I was being discriminatory (like Lady of the Freaks may be doing, but she could've simply not read these posts in their entirety...)

 

i guess i'm just not clear on what is bothering you. if there are males who are submissive, what concern is that of yours? is it certain circumstances in which they submit that bothers you? what if that is an ingrained trait they have, and it pleases them to submit? i don't see why it's any more of an issue for someone that males are submissive than it is when females are submissive i guess.

 

Submission, particularly extreme submission is psychologically motivated by poor attitudes towards oneself. A shame, guilt, deserving of punishment, even self-disgust (I may be leaving some out, I'm slightly intoxicated =P).

Now, this alone wouldn't be a problem to me either; everyone has their dark corners. It's the social world that has been breeding it that bothers me. It's the high amount of cases. Every day it seems a new femdom fetish is the fresh thing. Cuckolds are real popular now. They're sorta like this story the OP made.

Basically, it's where a husband watches a guy fuck his wife (in porn it's typically 'against his will'), and is typically humiliated while they are fucking. The wife will talk about how much better the dude fucking her is, how much better his cock is, etc. Sometimes she will force him to eat the dude's cum after. Many times it is a black guy (which reflects something equally horrible about racial relations in this country).
This stuff is getting quite popular now. What sort've things does a fetish like this reflect on a person's inner state?

It is our social world that breeds this. Feministic attitudes and anti-male bias daily undermine and insult the male. The average view of a typical male is a chauvanistic pig that only cares about sports, beer, cars, and porn. Untrustworthy. Cheating. Lazy. Irresponsible.
How many guys does this truly represent?
Recent studies have suggested adult females are more likely to cheat (at least once) than adult males.
Yet, the view of an average female remains loving, caring, loyal, sugar, spice, yada yada.
It's bullshit.



And the female cases don't bother me as much because right now, socially, they are the top dogs; and sexually, they have always been the objects of desire. Really, they should have no complaints.
As females go, protecting them/helping/teaching them to protect themselves from the guys that are actually assholes, is much more of an issue, than anything else to me.

 

This thread is spiralling in its own direction, but I don't believe that human's are sexually monogamous. They are socailly monogamous and do form pair bonds though.

I don't want to be in a monogamous relationship. When I'm in a relationship, I will tell my partner that she is free to have other lovers. All I would ask is to be kept informed of the general happenings (certainly the details would be desired, but I will have respect for all involved). I on the other hand do not have to have other lovers. It would be a luxury for me to have other lovers, but I not do so if she preferred that I be with only her.

Having sex with the same person for the rest of your life isn't natural, and that is why such a high percentage of people fail at it. Standards are upheld that defy human nature.

 

wow. you really have an axe to grind. well, there are holes in your arguments i could drive a truck through, but i'm feeling lazy. :tongue:

 

Scientifically partially true.
Recently neurologists have discovered a hormone that they call in laymen 'the monogamy hormone'. It is released mostly during intimate contact, especially sex with a loved one. So far they think it to be more common in females, and different people of course, have varying amounts; some don't seem to have it at all. But what the hormone does is help to create a sense of strong bond and loyalty, so that the person desires that loved one above all else.

And PS, I felt a bit bad for hijacking the thread until Number6 linked me to another post by the OP; a completely different story. The dude's full of shit, so no reason to feel bad.

Well, it's not like I have it backed with statistics and yada yada. (I'm lazy too, I really wanted to reorganize that post a bit but couldn't bear to do the work =P)
But, I'll make you a deal. Point out some of the holes, and I won't make you do the driving =)
Don't let my long posts intimidate. You can type as little as you want wihtout offense.

As you can plainly see, I have a lot of passion on the subject. I'll clear up why: A) I used to be a male-apologist, realized how (socially) favored women are and resented my eyes for being so gullible. I feel duped, and now I want to show others the light.
B) I think unless rectified ASAP, the state of the male will just keep getting worse and worse. Then again, women really don't need us anymore, science can make eggs into sperm, so maybe in a few generations it won't matter =P
Or maybe I'm wrong and males will find a new role/identity by happenstance and everything will work out peachy.
C) Personally, I can identify with the modern male because I have daddy issues/watched Fight Club a lot =P

(And I recognize that the role of family is in an equally dire state, and helps foster both the male and female involvement, but I will do my best to help that out when I'm ready to settle down =D)

 

It describes most of the guys that I know, especially if you add to your list the love of money and power. And they think that any other approach by a man is gay.

I agree with some of your points, but I think that guys in general are doing this to ourselves. The times are changing, but most men are trying their best not to. We are getting left behind.