Ever knew your current place in life felt...wrong?

I have lots of friends who are musicians-rap, rock, jazz, blues. Some try to do it full time, some have low paying jobs and try to make it, some have nice jobs and try.

Is any one group happier than the others (I just asked myself that-I thought it was important-I had to think about it). No. They all have doubt. They are all not sure.

I have a friend in one of my favorite bands. They tried when they were younger-got older-they fool around-but most of them have decent jobs-but they still try. Some have families. I had a long talk with one of them a few months ago. He's now a lawyer. 3 kids. Real neat wife. They have a great relationship. He said to me-If I'm doing this in five years (being a lawyer) I'm going to hate myself. I pointed out to him-so in 5 years if your kids are all happy and healthy and your wife still loves you and you love her-that this is terrible? (yea we were drunk and high) But he got the idea. Maybe he needs to try a different type of law. Maybe he needs to do something else. But his life is different now. He's still trying-but I think he looks at things differently.

Try it dude-but remember a few things.

1-DON'T HAVE KIDS. You have to be real careful there. It will change your life and it's hard to have music and kids.
2-Have a back-up. Be realistic-music is hard. It's luck. It's hard to make it. Find something else that you like so you have some money. Everything is easier if you have a little money. Money gives you choices. If you're 30 and still trying and have a low-paying job are you all right with that? Not that it's wrong-just ARE YOU ready for that?
3-It sounds like you should be going to school somewhere else. So you have access to other musicians.

 

Awesome advice.

I'm sort of in a hard place in my life right now and I think I'm going through some sort of "quarter life crisis" or something. lol. My family literally fell apart within the past year - my mom and dad separated and got back together and left into a new house somewhere and they don't talk to the rest of the family. I couldn't afford school this semester. I don't have the greatest job at the moment. I'm struggling to find a new car and place to live eventually. My grandparents are my crutch right now. They help me so much and they both want to see me happy and successful. My grandma wants to see me go back to school, offers to pay for it, wants me to have a great career and start a family. They typical way we say life should go.

I just don't want to waste my life doing something that makes me unhappy. I've always said I'd rather be happy and love living in a cardboard box than hate working the 9-5 with regrets. I want to see the world. I want to do what I love. Right now I'm thinking of buying a bus to convert into an RV to help solve my pending housing problem. I want to use my life to my fullest, I'm just too cautious and with little support from family and friends.

 

none??? dude, I'm sure there must be something you would like to do which you could... if there isnt, your not thinking hard enough maybe?

Also, original poster, i can relate to you completely. The subject i currently study, pretty much guarantees me a great pay should i get a degree in it, but i hate it, i hate the atmosphere, the people in it and the whole outlook of it vs creativity. Theres like 5 subjects i would love to study, all with huge risks and large debts by the end, but i picked the one i would most like to do, and im going to do it. I realize it will not assure me financial success, so i seek survival income from elsewhere... the way i see it, you can have alot of cash, to do anything you want, but almost no time to do it, or all the time to do it, just under worser conditions... in the end, its just paper. So long as your warm, have a roof over your head and have food to eat, your set..
I wish i could study my entire life, this is what i aim for, i guess bailing on my last year of school made me realise how great learning is, or maybe, that im finally away from school... eh.


But i would suggest going for it too, just have a safe place to retreat to incase you need to take a while off, like a job or so. And yeah, dont have kids. It was due to me my mother stoped studying medicine, she should have been a reconstructive surgeon by now... kinda makes me feel like crap knowing that...

 

I do tech work at a law firm. I'm good at what I do. I don't really like it-but I don't hate it. I live on a boat that I'm slowly fixing up-maybe leaving at the end of the year. I have my job-so I can have my boat. I've taken one of the best ways that I can make money (working at the law firm) so I can have something else.

I always think it's "the something else" that's important. Like with my friend and his family.

It's hard when you're young. You are in a hurry. But you do have plenty of time-and more importantly you have a lot to learn just about life. Even where you are now you can probably learn a lot.

I don't know how old your grand parents are-my parents were born during the depression-it effected them and how they looked at life. They realize how hard life is and how good they have now compared to how bad it was. You're grandparents are probably younger-but think in the same way.

 

You remind me of one of my friends in school when I was young. We were good friends in 4th grade-we were friends in high school-hung out every now and then. He was a stoner in high school-looked a lot like you-when I first saw your picture I thought of him. He graduated-started mowing lawns. Started his own lawn mowing business. Bought a house and rented it out. Bought another one...He's pretty rich now. I haven't seen him in a long time. I think he was able to do what he did because he learned about life early-figured out a few things that takes other people a long time to figure out.

I think everyone goes "wild" at some point in their life. Drugs, alcohol, divorce-seriously changing your life, -it happens to every one at some point in their life. It has to. Some people it happens earlier-some later. Some people learn from it-some don't. Some people are a lot better for it. I think it's good to do it when your younger.

 

is that you in your sig?

 

Yessir

 

Lawd! No matchmaking in my threads!

lol

 

Lol I have a bf anyway

 

Dreams and hopes are everything, I spent too long trying to avoid one because it seemed too hard and complicated to even try for, and in retrospect it was a horrible way to live, because now on a general basis I'd say I'm happier then I've been since I was a child

 

i think your in a better position then you think. so many people feel like they are meant to do something..more/better/etc. but they don't know what that "thing" is. these people end up trapped working the same job for the rest of their lives miserable feeling they never lived up to their potential because they never risked it and they played it safe.

It's awesome you love music and know it's your calling. so move to another state. move to New York, California, or a hundred other great places filled with talented musicians of every type. move to vermont in burlington and meet a shitload of jamband-type artists and get something going.

Good luck man!

 

i say take the risk and lose it all for music. if its supposed to work out, it will.

if not, i'd say its worth dying trying.

 

I completely feel you, dude. Music is all that travels through my brain and it's all I ever want to do. I don't want to spend my life doing some shit job that I hate. I'd much rather be barely making it and be happy, then be rich and regretting my life.

I also feel you on the metal. Everyone in my shit town wants to play metal and nothing else, so I'm stuck writing/recording my own music and hoping that I'll find some cool people to play with sometime. I figure if I finish my cd up and play some acoustic shows that I might be able to find some people.

But yeah, if you want to talk about music, just send a message over my way. I'm always up for a good discussion.