1st MG Trip Report (Stream of Consciousness)

This past weekend, I embarked upon my first MG trip in order to work out some issues I had been dealing with in my everyday life. This is what I wrote while I was tripping, mostly unedited. Enjoy!

Dose: 4.5g, 3g at +2 hours, and 6g at +5 hours.
Method of consumption: Tried to ground them as much as possible, but mostly just chewed them and swallowed. Nausea and physical sensation in legs were really intense and uncomfortable at times.


Remember: You have just ingested Morning Glory Seeds. You are just tripping, which is a very good thing. If you are having difficult feelings or emotions, it is ok, you simply have to accept them, because change is the only constant in life. Then you can move on, and you will experience bliss.

this is where my depression comes from
i set boundaries for myself
they keep me in
where i know i'm safe
because the only person i really trust is myself

where does this lack of trust come from?
this lack of trust comes from me not knowing who i really am at my inner deep core

because i do not know I AM, i cannot trust anyone else to have to power to grab my SELF and wring its little neck until it is vacant of all reality.

this mercy is god
love
wendy



but i cannot fully reciprocate this because i have not yet found my SELF




later:





how to walk amongst those that are not enlightened:

show them the way.
YOU CANNOT profess to know the way; this will only appear condescening (in the end)

you must simply emanate THE WAY

this is why you must have all-encompassing LOVE for EVERYONE
notice the paradox: by telling yourself to love everyone, you are setting a boundary for yourself.
again, this is where your unhappiness comes from.
do not view it as a boundary:

happiness comes from BEING


this is why you must simply go with the flow!

all of the ways and thoughts and ideologies of everyone will eventually lead to DAOISM, (through the series of lives) will eventually lead to
ONE

....but what exists after ONE?

and the questions begin again.

just be.

why is this so hard to do in everyday life?
because the outside world distracts us from the ONENESS

this is why we are all ONLY our experience. we are nothing but how distracted we are from the ONE.

you should stop being so alone. engage with others. this is the only way to show them the way. is to promote them towards love, peace, and understanding, without showing them that you know peace, love, and understanding.

but then why would they follow you?

because they are attracted to your attenuation with the ONE.

your alone time should be spent doing whatever you enjoy, as long as it doesn't impede people's closeness to the ONE at a given moment in time.


YOU MUST RELATE TO PEOPLE ON THEIR LEVEL OF UNDERSTAND IN ORDER FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND THE WAY.

selflessness is the way.
--->
you should always be with people all the time, except when sleeping. (this is pretty much what it all boils down to).

by, being with one person all the time, you are helping THEM find the ONENESS, but you are not helping all people become ONE. this is why you should evenly help ALL people become ONE, because


to my gf: we must simply BE with each other.

we clash because we cater to each other's needs too much. we simply are in love and want to show each other the way. (this will eventually lead -->>>chain of causality--->>> a few monks showing each other the way by leading my example --->>> end of time.

this is why, ultimately, all of our time spent is completely meaningless.
the best way is the way that will show people how to be closer attenuated with the one.

we become happy when the other is happy because we are coming closer to helping them become ONE. we are unhappy when the other is unhappy because we are each KNOWERS of the WAY, and we want others to become like us. this eventually leads to our own unhappiness because the time spent is wasted, because it could be spent showing others the WAY.


you must meditate everyday.

its what you'll be doing one day eventually.

lol.


.

TIME SPENT ALONE IS TIME WASTED, IF it could be spent with someone else, showing them the way (BEING)
if you are not physically with someone but communicating, you should always be truthful because that is the way

blatant honesty forces people to confront REALITY, which is what makes them unhappy, because we cannot actualize the totality of the universe all at once. they aren’t at a level of consciousness that allows them to confront their psy

we like people that make us happy, because it makes it easier for us to make others happy, because there is simplicity in the mutual knowing of the way.



from now on i will only do drugs if i am alone and wish for spiritual exploration, or if wendy is doing them with me, or if i am only with people who are only doing them with me, or if i am around people who are more closely anntenuated with the WAY to understand my state of mind.

it is harder to communicate while on drugs because although they may temporarily make you feel closer to the way, talking distracts you from the way.

memory becomes harder because the barriers are broken down, which makes it harder to communicate on the same realm as those whose consciousness are not as closely attenuated with the way.

since we ARE physical bodies, we do have physical limitations. this is why drugs that ADD to your physical limitations (tar, alcohol) are bad, because they ultimately shorten life, which gives you less time interacting with people. psychedelics BREAK DOWN barriers in the brain and make everything FLOW (closer to the way).

to my girlfriend: i feel the need to cater to your every whim and desire because i want you to be happy because you being happy will bring you closer to the WAY because it will allow you to show others the way (which is why you do volunteerism). i could become a monk and lead by example, but i choose to be with you because that brings me more happiness by being with you on this physical world. we both enjoy sex so much because it breaks down the physical barriers in our brain, and gives us a brief, momentary closerness to the WAY.

you want the same for me!

on loyalty, trust, and faith:
you want me to be




people who are Truly HAPpy automatically make other people happy want other people to be closer to their level of understanding of things
c

factroductive conversation is only that which a.) provides a mutual understanding or agreement or b.) is non-pervasive self-interest. (because it allows the other .


it is impossible to not be attracted instintively towards someone who also knows the way


it is best if there is a proper balance between consciousness and the physical world.


the number of possibilities one can fathom to pursue in life is directly and inversely proportional
to the amount of possibilities one fathoms concerning the conclusion of his or her own physical existence.




It overall was an extremely enlightening and powerful trip; I experienced an egoless state in my first acid trip last october, and have piecing together the puzzle ever since. I felt like this trip to me close to that state, and probably would have happened if I had chosen to go there, but it was soft enough to allow me to work through my problems and deal with them coherently.

Oh whoever says you don't get visuals on LSA simply haven't taken enough.

Peace, love, and many blessings,

Lavoe

 

good post man. i think about this stuff all day. your comments about being alone hit me hard, i have the opposite view if anything, social interaction is meaningless and secondary to anything real in life. but i dont like that i have this view.

 

LSA makes me have weird thoughts, overly intense body load at times, cramps after dosing (goes away after anhour or so), legs feel really weird and uncomfortable, etc,... Overall, LSD > LSA, by ALOT.

 

Mr. Writer: I used to have this view, and in a sense I still do, but since this trip I have realized that the only way to spread the happiness, love, and beauty I see in the world is through social interaction, so that I can lead by example and hopefully that will encourage people to find those same things within themselves. If I don't interact with people, then I am keeping all that I have learned to myself, and that is of no benefit to anyone but myself. Right now it just seems to me like that the only place of meaning in this physical world lies within the relationships between people.

 

My love said this to me the first time she dropped acid. I may have thoughts on this, but I do not want to share them now. I am too tired.

 

But what does it matter who this knowledge benefits. everyone is buddha, whether they know it or not, and if they don't know it, you can't tell them, because they won't understand. they will think it's an intellectual 'fact', they will nod and say 'yes, i understand, i am a buddha', but they won't get it, because they will still think in their mind 'then why am i so messed up lol'.

i really think these kinds of things are not shareable. people can benefit from you knowing it because it affects your actions, presumably for the better, but to actually spread this knowledge? i dunno

though now that i think of it you are at least planting the seed of something. i suppose that is worth it by itself.