Hardest question I've ever been asked - need love help

This question threw me for a loop worse than any other nightmare question a guy has ever been asked

Worse than "Do I look fat in this dress?"

Worse than "Do you mind if my mom comes to visit for a week?"

Worse than "Did you love the other girls you've dated as much as you love me?"

Today I was posed this question, and I totally dropped the ball. I'm not in the game of lying to women so I really had no idea how to answer. Here it is, the beast of beasts:

Would you still be with me if we stopped doing anything sexual?

My reply was a garbled mess that basically screwed up the rest of the conversation and turned her off for the night. What was I supposed to say? I like her as a person and all but why have a girlfriend that won't do anything sexual with you? We could still be friends? Argh. Any of you run into this question before?

 

She's testing you. They all do it eventually.

 

Yep, totally testing you. She sounds insecure.

 

:O .. thats a crazy test if u ask me ... id never ask my boyfriend that ...
but i duno what your answer should be??..
.what if shes serious and its not a test??? :O then what?? :O

 

Yeah definitely a test? But wtf how do i reply?

What would 'pass the test'? it's like an impossible test.

 

I wrote her a poem today:

I like sex, I like you, let's be together and have sex too!

 

She replied "Okay."

and then changed her MySpace status to "Confused - I don't know what to do or think"

 

Seems to me youre giving her a mixed message there that you love the sex more. Just instantaneously saying you would deffinately be together with no sex may not be a winner she wants you to say, but that line just seems life a deffinate fail.

I am in a comitted relationship where due to each of our accomodation, we have sex maybe every 6 months. Absolutely not a problem if you really want to be with the other person.

 

Yeah i couldn't do that at this point in my life. I want to be with her but I also want sex. I'm not gonna lie. There are other girls who would do it for me if she didn't, but I like her more. I'm not gonna cheat on her, but she's gotta be there for me if we're gonna be together you know? I still want to be with her, but I just want it to be how it was, how it's always been. She keeps forcing this issue and i have no idea why. Anyway we talked it out for the most part today, pretty much agreed to go back to how it was.

God that question was a nightmare though... 2 days of arguing ensued. If any of you ever hear it... let me know how you passed (or failed) the test.

 

Just be straight up with girls... and people in general. It's all this tip-toeing around simple subjects that causes shit like this in the first place. If you think sex is a necessary part of a relationship, TELL HER. It's a really easy answer to her question, NO I would not be with you if we stopped fucking. If she doesn't like it well thats her problem. And while you're at it, tell her to stop asking you bullshit questions.

I'm all for respecting people's feelings but being straight forward is almost always the best policy.

 

If asked this question by a girlfriend, before I was married, I would have countered with, "Do you mean until we get married or do you mean forever ?". If her answer was until we got married, I would respond with, "Yes, I would stay with you because I love you and respect you.". If her answer was forever, I would reply, "I think sex is an important part of a healthy intimate relationship and I might someday want children, so yes, I would reconsider our long term prospects.".

 

Totaly Testing You

 

In reality there are a lot of relationships that continue for years after the sexual side has ended, marriages or not.

 

this question was posed to me recently. & actually, i didn`t mind no sex for awhile. though it hadn`t begun yet. the fact is, it seemed to have begun to be a bargaining chip. this, to see how far she could go in my patience. other things were tried, too. & things like that can get ridiculous. along w/ no sex were: no holding hands, no arm around her, no backrubs. no smiling @ each other. soo where does one draw the line? she was afraid any of these would lead to sex. & we`re both in our 40`s. there were other issues too. but, some women love to use this as a bargaining chip.

 

That sounds like a pretty shitty situation to be in, sorry to hear about how she's acting. If she's the kind of chick to test you and force issues and all that bs I'd say it's just not worth it. I mean, I'm aware that some people see the defining factor of an exclusive relationship as sex, so if I was seeing someone I wouldn't bother asking them any questions like your gf did. some people can handle it and some can't. maybe you two are looking for different things from the relationship. I just hope you don't get stuck with future pop quizzes and arguments and all that.. best of luck to ya.

 

There is no right answer.

LOOK OUT, IT'S A TRAP!!!!

 

i like your poem haha

 

well I'd ask her if it was a theoretical question or if there was something behind it - e.g. has she gone off sex, is she unhappy with your sex life etc. If it turns out she's just testing you I'd say to her it was an unfair question, being in a relationship usually involves sex - would she have gone out with you if there was never going to be any sex in the first place? I doubt it. I'd try to get at why she's asking this, rather than worrying about how to answer it.

 

be straightforward mate. or throw a similar question back at her. and if i was asked that question my -->

ANS : would you STILL love me if i saw other women while still seeing you . . .

the thing is she would be like WTF .. and she goes all hyper then tell her see thats what happens when you ask stupid questions

 

:iagree:


First of all, why was it such a hard question? There is only one answer right? And I'm pretty sure you knew the answer the very second she asked you. If she didn't like the answer than she should stop asking bullshit questions or GTFO