How to get your parents to come out!?

Probably a misleading title, but, you know

Problem A has been solved - I'm out of the closet and most of my friends now know.

Problem B is the new one. My Mum simply won't tell her sisters about my being gay. I'm not too bothered about some people in my family not knowing, like some of my younger cousins and maybe my uncles. I don't think it's any of their business, and they wouldn't even care. Similar situation with grandparents. But my Aunts and my older cousins have always been wonderful to be, very loving and caring, and yet they don't know. Until they do I just feel like i'm still living half of my life as a lie.

How can I convince my Mum it's OK for my aunts to know? I'm not going to tell them myself even if people advise it, because my Mum's not kicked me out or treated me harshly over being gay, she's just surprised and a bit taken aback. I just wish I could be more open because I still feel like it's all a bit of a half truth right now.

Any ideas on how I could encourage her to speak about it?

 

i suggest you do not surprise your mother perhaps she be in pain and shocking

 

It is THAT necessary for them to know right now? Perhaps your mother hasn't told them because it hasn't come up in conversation, not because she's scared. If you're close to them, why not tell them yourself? And if you're not too close, what's the pressure to make them know? You might find it better just to let them find out on their own...

xx

 

When my sister came out, it took time for my parents to adjust to that. My mom was by far more accepting from the start, my dad needed to sit with it a bit.

You have to realize that society does judge and I think a parent feels that they are not ready for the judgment nor the questions that could come from a choice they will be defending that is not theirs.

Give it some time. Usually that works best.

By the time our extended family knew I think many of them had already figured it out. People are perceptive. The younger ones in the family were far quicker to just shrug it off, the older ones took a bit of time. Nothing bad was said or done, but they also had a right to handle it how they needed to.

Good luck to you.

 

The longer you let her keep it her little dark secret the harder it is going to be to get her permission to have it discussed. You should not have to get her permission. It is YOU not HER.

If your still living in your parents' house and wish to abide by her wishes that is one thing. I suggest you do so as you do not want to start trouble with an issue she is obviously having issues with. However, do not let her determine who knows and doesn't. That is YOUR decision.

I will give a warning though. Little cousins and grandparents are EXCELLENT at finding out the juicy gossip in families. If you tell your older cousins and aunts, the rest of the family will follow behind too.

You would be surprised with how some of the older generations would take it, though. By the time they get to be their age they are exposed to a lot. They also learn there are bigger things than one's sexual orientation. Don't cast them out before they are given a chance. If you tell your family, tell them. Don't pick and choose because this will send the message that you trust/love some of them more than others. Even if this is not your intention.

Good luck. Give your mom some time if you feel she needs it, but never let her determine who knows something about you that you want them to know.