Childhood best friend and fuck buddy finding me on Facebook

closetgay8 · Apr 29, 2009

AvatarMN said:

Okay, here's the update. Me and Larry talked on the phone. He was really excited to talk to me, and we did some catching up on the big things that have happened in our lives since we knew each other (as I thought, the woman was his wife, btw), and reminiscing about all the fun we had as kids and what we meant to each other at times when both our family lives were difficult. He revealed that he agrees with me that we were really special friends, he said I was the last "best friend" he's had. He's eager for us to get together again as soon as possible. He still lives where we knew each other, and he said he wanted me to come and for us to go on a tour of the places we used to hang out, and where we each lived.

I put the brakes on, because he wasn't bringing up the thing that's eating me. I told him I was a basket case with social anxiety disorder, and I needed some time to work up to being able to commit to plans to see him again. Which is true. He was totally sweet, asking what he can do to break the ice with me, like for him to come to me first. And that he'd proceed at my pace, letting me make the next contact. We hung up, and now it's a few days later and I just emailed him, and laid it all out. That there was an elephant in the room that hadn't come up. The sex. I revealed that I always figured he was straight, especially after the onset of puberty brought him the maturity to decline to fool around again, while it just made me want it all the more. And that while I understood that, my perspective was that he was not only my best friend, but my first love. I told him I went on to be secretly in love with my next best friend throughout high school and a couple years after. That friendship was bittersweet, and only after it ended did I see how destructive it was for me to be in that kind of relationship. And so, I don't think I can be around Larry again. It's pathetic to be around someone you think of as an ex, and he never had any idea. It would make me feel even worse about myself than I usually do (as I said; basket case). What I didn't tell him because it might be insulting is that I'm actually a little bit afraid for more than just my emotional state. If I met him without bringing up the sex, then what if it turned out he'd blocked it? What if he had a flashback, or something? He told me he's now 300 lbs of muscle. Many a fag is dead because a straight guy thought their masculinity was threatened.

So... That's where it stands now. I said I'd like to have a reply, and maybe we could be email pals. And maybe one day I'll work my issues out, but I don't think it's a good idea to see each other any time soon. I'll let you guys know how he responds.

What, no one else has childhood sex buddy stories?
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You are really brave (It'd be weird to say i look up to you, but i really do ^^) he made his choice. I actually know now if he's gay or straight for what you told me (have this really weird thing that i figure out a persons way of living just by reading their profile) and either way... i suggest you forget him...

He has a wife (which probably loves him to death) if he actually wants to go through with it... you're gonna ruin her life. Which i don't think it's fare. In saying that, i don't think what he did to you was fare either but who's the asshole in this story huh .

i know a perfect way to get back at him BUT you need to be 100% with me on this *evil laugh*

I'm sorry to say but, there's no happy ending without hurting someone here.

jnorton47 · Apr 29, 2009

When I was 10 my best friend was 9 we were into the same sex play. I never got a chance to reconnect. Two year ago I learned he passed away. I would have loved to have gotten together with him again.

SexinmyCity · Apr 29, 2009

I hope it all works out and that you will keep us updated. I understand how you feel, and that a connection could be confusing, but those friends from childhood...you never have friends like that again!

AvatarMN · Jun 18, 2009

I haven't replied in awhile, because I've been waiting to see how things shake out.

Larry's response was not at all what I expected. He said that he fondly remembered the sex, too, he just didn't know if he should bring it up. He thought it might scare me away, like I thought it would scare him away. He said that he expected that if we hadn't been separated, we'd have continued to be lovers, and developed into full-blown boyfriends. He had a completely different perspective on the crucial event that I thought changed everything. When I visited him again after being seperated for a year. My recollection is that I propositioned him, and he turned me down, saying we shouldn't do that any more. He says that I merely asked him if he remembered what we did, and he said yes, and quickly changed the subject because he thought that I was about to say that it had been wrong, what were we thinking, etc...

Shit. All these years, I thought my first love rejected me and was ashamed of what we'd had. I expect it's colored what I think about myself, and my sexuality. Now I find that he felt the same way that I did, only we both were too afraid to express it. He says that he supposes he's bisexual, and he has only been with women since he was with me because he was satisfied with women, and deterred by his upbringing and society's view of homosexuality, and the opprortunity and the right guy never came along and broke through that barrier again.

So we're talking by email, off and on. We're probably going to meet some time, but we're taking it slow. I'm still conflicted about what kind of impact it's going to have on me to be friends again with a lost love, even if he didn't reject me like I thought. He remains married, and I remain very shy and self-conscious. But though it sucks to find out that I had the wrong idea all these years, it feels good to know now that it was a mutual love in all respects.

Tisha Mc · Jun 19, 2009

I'm very happy for you that you were able to find this out. Hopefully it will help you to be more self-assured.

KewlDewd66 · Jul 6, 2009

Nothing to worry about. The dude is simply trying to re-connect. Why? Only he knows.

So, play it lite. Stay in touch and see, if you can get together for some reunion. Pick it up from there.

Anything is possible...

DK

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