So, I'm gonna have a baby.

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Morningglory2, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    I was in utter shock at first, but I'm getting used to the idea. I just found out 2 days ago. I'm absolutely in love with the father. He's amazing and I think he reacted better than I did, for sure. It was just such a surprise. Both of our families live within 10 minutes of us and the only people I've told are my brother and sister. My sister won't even talk about it and the first thing my brother said was, "get an abortion". My mind is so blown and I just wish that I could talk to someone right now. They've made me feel like everyone is gonna react this way and I just need a little support right now. My boyfriend has been great, but I just wish my family could be here for me. I know that they won't approve. They're pretty traditional and I don't even want to consider getting married. I love him, but I have different ideals. I know everything's gonna be okay, but I'm really scared.
     
  2. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

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    *hugs* I've been there.

    I got pregnant at 19, totally unexpected. My BF (now husband) was so supportive, and I was in shock. Our families, while not so extreme as to tell us to get an abortion, were shocked and very...weird about it. Brian's dad asked us when we were getting married. My mom wanted me to come home.

    But ya know, once the shock wore off, I was excited.

    It's an awesome thing. Take lots of pictures of your belly.

    PM me if you need to talk. :)
     
  3. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    Thanks. I'm feeling better and better (other than the constant nausea and breast pain). I am only 21 but we're financially stable and I couldn't think of anyone else that I'd wanna have a baby with. He told me he isn't even worried. He knows I'm gonna do fine. I'm thrilled to have the support from him... I just need to suck it up and tell the rest of my family so that they can get over the shock of it all and be happy too. Oh and there will be tons of pictures! :)
     
  4. tannaleigh

    tannaleigh Member

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    YAY! Congratulations.

    and just wanted to let you know that it gets easier. Loads of people have babies into terrible situations, and the babies turn out great the the parents are amazing parents--so don't worry over you're family's issues. They won't matter once the little on is here.

    i've had a very tumultous relationship with my bf. violence, drugs, loss of previous pregnancies. When I was pregnant again after going through all of this stuff, my family was very worried about how we'd do. My son is now a year and half, he was born with some major health issues, and is an amazing survivor. My mother, just leaving after visiting me this weekend said. "i don't know what I was so worried about, ou've been better at this than I ever could have." and our social worker tells me often "I hope you have loads of children, because you are doing something right with this one! It be a shame to waste those natural skills you have."

    So, I'm going to say to you. Once the baby is here, how your families initially reacted won't matter anymore. all that matters is that you try your best.

    and I second taking loads of pictures. Pregnancy ROCKS!
     
  5. homeschoolmama

    homeschoolmama Senior Member

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    Aww, congratulations!

    My parents were slightly less than ecstatic when I first found out I was pregnant too. I'd eloped & became pregnant immediately, and they were convinced that we'd been "doing the unthinkable" before our marriage. A few months before the birth however, they realized that they really REALLY wanted to be a major part of their first grandchild's life and almost overnight transformed into the most awesome, supportive & super COOL grandparents (MY parents? COOL? REALLY? Yeah, really!) I could have ever imagined.

    I think our parents have a tough time realizing that their baby has grown up... and seem to need more than the day or two it takes us mamas to realize that they're gonna have new excitement/responsibilities to look forward to.

    Wishing you & your sweetie all the best!
    love,
    mom
     
  6. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    Well, I got some good news and some terrible news. Wednesday I went to the health dept where they gave me all the packets of info, prenatal vitamins, lists of docs, etc, I found out the baby is due around Dec 22nd. I also found out the same day that my mom has stomach cancer. They caught it early and it's treatable. I have to believe at this point that's she's gonna be okay. I'm just doubly shocked. I was going to tell her about the baby and before I could get it out she drops this news on me. The doctor's checked and it hasn't spread anywhere else. They said they can remove it and do chemo or radiation. Now I really feel like I can't tell her. I know that being this stressed out isn't good for the baby, but I just can't seem to calm down. My boyfriend gave me a massage last night, I tried meditation, but my mind is racing way too much, I took a hot bath, but I just have this ball in my throat and I wanna cry. It's just too much to take in at one time.
     
  7. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

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    Don't think that, hon.

    My MIL got the news that her ovarian cancer had spread, becoming a blood-born cancer. It was attacking her everywhere. She resigned to die, never having seen a grandchild.

    We debated telling her, and when. We didn't know of her news yet, but she was a staunch Christian and we just KNEW she would flip out on us.

    We waited until after her birthday, then went to her house, cooked her dinner, and sat down to tell her our news. Our hearts beat so loudly. And the ass-chewing I expected never came. She smiled this queenly, absolutely peaceful smile. She said, "While I wish you had done things a bit differently, I am so happy for you." A few more minutes passed, and then she said "I never, ever thought I would hear this happy news. I'm a grandmother." We left her that night with a renewed heart, knowing that we had someone on our side.

    The next time we saw her, and she told us about her news, my husband expected she would just let it go. That she would just await her death. But the news of a grandchild gave her so much hope, and she chose to fight one more time.

    You never know, hon. Your mother is scared, probably frightened out of her mind, holding a calm demeanor for you and your family. Don't deny her something that will give her so much hope. A grandchild, in any circumstance, is a beautiful thing. It's hope, it's a promise that life goes on. And most importantly, it's a reason to fight on when you'd rather give up.

    Tell your mom. Don't delay. It will be worth it. No matter what happens. :)
     
  8. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    You were right. I had to tell her. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. She was shocked but happy. After the initial wow she just gave me a big hug and said "oh my goodness, my baby's having a baby!" She knows that my dad is going to be a different story, but she even told me that she would tell him for me. I feel like a huge weight is lifted off of my chest. She said that she thinks it would be better for the baby to be married, but she respects my choice... I guess I should have had a little more faith. Thanks for all the support guys.
     
  9. agentslander

    agentslander Member

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    Good luck with everything. My family was weird about it at first, but when my mom realized that she hadn't been much older than me when she had me, she got over it and now that my daughter is here, she blesses everyone's life who meets her. I don't think any of them could imagine me having gotten rid of her. My mom still says she wished I'd waited a little longer, but your dad will get over it too, especially when the baby arrives.

    Best wishes to your mother too and I hope that she over comes this. They've gone a long way with cancer research so I'm sending you my optimism.
     
  10. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    So, here's a little update. Tomorrow I'll be at 12 weeks. The due date was changed to December 24th. I have a great midwife. I'm not the best patient so she did a good job making me feel at ease. Her husband actually taught at my massage school so that gives her bonus points in my book. :) I went 3 weeks ago and haven't gotten a phone call regarding any health problems so I'm assuming all is well. She told me that I have great hips and my breasts were perfect for breastfeeding. I'm taking that as excellent news. I want to do this as naturally as possible. I'm starting to feel a lot better. It's a very surreal experience though. I'm noticing all of these changes in my body but it's just hard to take in.
     
  11. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

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    *hugs* It's such an amazing time. And such an amazing experience.

    Congratulations.
     
  12. Morningglory2

    Morningglory2 Member

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    So, here's a little update. I'm not much of a computer person, but I thought I'd share. I'm now 20 weeks along... I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm having a little boy! It has turned into an awesome experience. I'm so excited to meet this little person.
    I haven't even been able to think of any names yet, but I'm hoping something will come to me... nothing really stands out though. I have a feeling I'll end up meeting him before I make a final decision. :) That's okay with me. The daddy is just as much of a procrastinator as I am, so we'll see.
    Everything looks good. I'm healthy, baby's healthy and I'm finally over that dreadful morning sickness, thank goodness! This has also given me the opportunity to become more healthy. I quit smoking and as bad as this may sound, I think this is the longest that I've been sober since I was 14. I was always a little experimental and definitely was the life of the party. It's nice to have my head clear. Thanks for all the words of encouragement you guys gave me! It's still scary, but I'm pretty confident that all is going to be well. :D
     
  13. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

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    That's great news Morningglory! Congrats on the healthy pregnancy, and the healthy baby boy on the way. :)

    {{{Hugs}}}
     
  14. HippyFreek

    HippyFreek Vintage Member

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    Don't worry about not picking a name, yet.

    We picked out like 5 names before our daughter was born, and the moment I met her the only name that fit was the one that I'd hated my entire pregnancy. :)
     
  15. honeyfugle

    honeyfugle pumpkin

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    Huge congrats! I've been there, I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with Hannah, and at first my parents were..well...not incredibly supportive. They were gobsmacked more than anything else that I'd moved away abroad with my boyfriend and in a matter of months was pregnant. But, things worked out. They got on board. I married my boyfriend and we live together with our little princess. And my parents are a lot better now. They can't get enough of Hannah, to them it's like the sun shines out of her butt. lol. :)
    Stick in there, and be strong for your mum and for you and for your little one.
     
  16. Tisha Mc

    Tisha Mc Banned

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    This whole thread was making me cry. I feel like such a girl. :)
    Congratulations! A little boy, how exciting. You must keep us updated on everything. I'm there with everyone on wanting to see pictures.
    My best friend is going through this same thing right now. Her mother is doing great with it now. I think that once your family realizes that if they are not supportive than they will not be a part of this child's life, they will change their tactics. Enjoy every minute, it will go by so fast.
     
  17. MissBHave

    MissBHave insert clever phrase here

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    Congratulations!! I understand exactly how you are feeling. I just had my son 5 days ago and it was an amazing experience! But a year ago if you had told me i'd have a brand new baby I would have laughed in your face. it was totally unexpected and pregnancy was a very interesting experience to say the least lo. It's so exciting and scary all at the same time but it will be one of the most beautiful experiences of your life! So just enjoy it hon!
     
  18. honeyfugle

    honeyfugle pumpkin

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    Usually, yes. But the way I saw it was that if my parents hadn't supported me with Hannah, that it really shouldn't matter to me. After all, if a parent can't show support for one of the most challenging things your child will ever face (pregnancy and childbirth) then they aren't great parents after all. My parents were really great help in the end, and what surprised me actually, we'd been trying to call my mum's mobile phone since we'd got in hospital on the day Hannah was born and it'd been on silent, and they arrived after the birth when they got the messages and sprinted to hospital, and they said they were really badly gutted because they wanted to be in the labour room with me and give their support. I nearly cried when my mum told me that! I never expected it!
     
  19. honeyfugle

    honeyfugle pumpkin

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    We decided on the name Hannah Rose about a month or two in and ever since we found out it was a girl (although I kinda guessed it was a girl before hand, it just felt like it was a girl) we kept calling the bump Hannah. And when we finally met the beautiful Hannah Rose, there was no other name we could call her!! :)
     
  20. Tisha Mc

    Tisha Mc Banned

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    I'm mostly talking her brother and sister. She said that her mother did fine with the news and is sounded as if she would work on the father. It was the brother and sister that gave the trouble.
     

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