How often do ppl have sex?

Im really having troubles with my GF lately. When we first got together she was so passionate and kinky. We had sex daily and she wanted it just as much as I have.
Lately, she seems to never be in the mood. She never initiates sex. Never goes down on me unless I specificly ask. Wont even consider anal even though we did it dozens of times when we first got together , and she really seemed to enjoy it.
Now, even when we do have sex about once a week its like she wonts it over ASAP. She wont kiss me while we are having sex and rarely looks at me.
I could understand if this is how she has always been, but Its the complete opposite of how she used to be... And she seems to be getting more prudish, about even trying a new position, or going to the upstairs room for a change.
Im a very sexual person. I enjoy making her cum more than myself. I always start with massages, kissing her up and down, . Ive tryed being spontaneous.
I feel like she just isnt in love with me anymore. Weve fought about this so many times, as well as had calm conversations, which she makes it seem like im crazy.
Does anyone have any advice? I always believed when a relationship isnt working , the sex is the first thing to suffer. Weve been together for3-4 yrs and dont want to break up over " not getting enough" , but its more than that. I feel like im fucking a stanger rather than the love of my life most times....

 

talk to her. see what's she thinking. if shes not happy, it'll reflect off of your sex life. shes obviously not telling you something,.

 

That sucks. Do you have any reason to suspect she could be cheating on you? Or maybe she's depressed or having some other inner issues. Or maybe she's just bored of your relationship. Or maybe none of these. But talk to her about it, and force her to give you an explanation because whatever it is affects you as much as it affects her.

 

I agree with Rigamarole. Symptoms indicate cheating, depression or her being bored/over the relationship. If none of these, something is definitely amiss. Have a chat with her.

 

LOL, yes, it could only be her fault.

What about you Marco, early on did you pay attention to her all the time, nowadays you only pay attention an hour before you try and fuck her?

There's two possibilities here, either she's lost interest in sex, or lost interest in sex with you. Even if she's lost interest in sex it's ridiculous to think she's lost interest in the Big O.

Sorry to sound like a dick, but from what you've told us her reaction seems pretty icy. Too icyto be just about boredom. Does she think you are cheating? Is it about marriage, is it about babies. Those issues usually provoke the strongest reactions

Communication isnt going to help if its something she's too afraid to tell you

 

There are alot of issues here. Im currently collecting unemployment, so she resents the fact that she has to get up everyday and im staying home, but I still pay my end for the most part. She makes more than me, and she knows it. The only reason im unemployed is because she wanted to move, so we moved.
Also, Her father pasted away about 18 months ago. I know that has affected her deeply. Ive tried to be there, but even right after that she was pushing me away, even broke up with me. I forgave this due to the stress she was under at the time, and tryed to just let whatever was gonna happen just happen. Then, she almost did a 180 and said she wanted to get a place together. I asked her if she was absolutly sure that was what she wanted. she said yes.
She has recently gone away with her family on a cruise for a week, and after 3 days, she stopped answering my calls for the most part. Only after I started calling every 5 min. did she finally pick up. She said she wasnt getting service, but I know she was because of the # of rings before it clicked over to voicemail. Then Id call back in 5 min and it would click straight to voicemail. (I know she turned her phone off). I wouldnt be surprised if she hooked up with somebody, I almost rather hear that than I just didnt give a fuck enough about you to call you back, even tho I knew you were worried... And that was pretty much her explanation...
Over the past month she has gone out a few times and not bothered to call me thru the course of the night. ( maybe Im too jealous, but if I went out all nite and didnt call her to let her know where I was and to say goodnight, she would be pissed at me., I dont think that is being over-bearing when your living w someone, sharing bills,etc.
The only time she opens up is when we do something like MDMA, But those nights are now rare, and after a few days, its like that night never happened.
Maybe she is just using me to help pay rent. Maybe she wants to end this but doesnt want the guilt or hassle. We had a huge fight the other nite over this, and I was starting to pack my shit, but Its like I dont know where to begin? It would be such a hassle to seperate, and maybe she doesnt even care enough to do it...
Or maybe im paranoid and she just doesnt like sex anymore.... or maybe she is a selfish lover. Thats what it feels like. She will have me go down on her/ hold a vibrator on her for ever until she cums. But Then she wont even change positions for me.....She used to want to satisfy me, now she could give a fuck.
Obviously im the one doing something wrong, and Ive calmly asked her. what can I do better? She has no answer, she just gets defensive and says something like" sorry im not a whore, if i make you so miserable than just leave..." , the closest thing to an answer is be romantic... what the fuck. I cant think of any way to be more romantic. Do I need to just leave?
Maybe letting her see me hanging out with another girl will make her realize something is missing.....although I cant believe she doesnt already know this. I dont know why she is pretending this is normal. Or maybe this is normal. How often you you couples that have been together over 3 yrs have sex? Do you feel like somethings missing sometimes or do you feel closer?
Sorry to write a novel here, but Im in a crisis right now. If this is what the rest of my life will be like with this girl, Id like to know now. Id like to try and fix it tho before I walk away....thanks for any and all advice.

 

talk to her

 

bro the most logi¢al assumtion is she's ¢heatin....now its many things u kan do at this point....leave her, whi¢h would probably be too hard....a¢t lk u dnt giva fuk....cheat on her....or leave it alone.... hope this helps but i kno how u feel

 

I think I lost my " i wanna fuck all the time" urges when I quit drinking so much, not to say that I don't like sex or I don't want it, it's just not as fasinating as it used to be. I think that's really weird actually.

 

The only other thing I can think of that hasn’t been mentioned by other HF members is this…. ( which was my first thought too for some reason ).

How long has this change of mood in sex been going on ? I don’t know if your girl is on the pill but I hear that some birth control can seriously suppress a female’s sexual urges, to the point where some woman don’t want or enjoy having sex at all.

Find out if she’s using the same birth control now as she did when you first met.

 

2-3 times a week. I start becoming a raging bitch if I don't get laid at least once a week.

 

Well it doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating on you. I was like that with my ex towards the very end of the relationship, because I wasn't romantically attracted to him anymore, and I just couldn't enjoy it.He mentioned it when I broke up with him, so it probably would be a lot easier if you talk to her about it and get her to come clean about what ever is bothering her.Like everyone else said, it could be any reason.

 

either she's depressed or she's cheating on you

 

brother take it from experience--she's cheatin on you...you need to get out before she breaks your heart.

 

maybe it has just been too long of a relationship for her. I know after I feel in love like crazy ass so many emotions and told myself i would never ever stop loving my old boyfriend, after a while (currently) I have been feeling like im ready to meet other guys and what not. my love for him has definitely been lowered but im still really good friends with him. maybe something like that has happened to her. maybe she doesnt she herself going anywhere in the relationship. its not a bad thing, maybe show her new things or try fun activites together. Since you are home everyday, bake her something, look up something fun to do in your area on the internet.

once you are in a rut with someone, it always takes a lot to get out. For me, my friend just stopped loving me, i could feel it. maybe she doesnt feel loved (other than the you always wanting sex)

 

[EDIT] mispost

 

So I posted this months ago,, and after basicly nagging her nightly to let me know what is going on, eventually she said the stress from work and bills was just too much and sex wasnt as exciting as it used to be. Then we toyed with the idea of having a threesome to liven things up, only other than taking some photos one night, she never really followed thru with trying to actually make it happen. The idea slowly faded.
I then suggested ways of saving money, or ways we could amicably split up. It seemed like that was what she really wanted and I began to make plans to move out west.
Over the next couple of weeks we continued to sleep in the same bed, have sex occasionally,and have fun with hiking and camping on the weekends.
Then, out of nowhere the other night, she just became really mean. I asked what was going on and asked her if she still loved me or was this fighting really just about $$. She looked me in the eyes and said wasnt in love with me anymore.... and hadnt even been enjoying the sex we had been having over the past month. I was crushed but accepted it and over the next 48 hrs came to grips with the truth.
Then, On Fri, I found an apt that was nicer, cheaper and told her about it just to compare it to where we currently were living.
Overnight, she did a complete 180, saying how she was sorry, and didnt really mean what she had said the night before. I dont understand women.
Part of me wants to move on and forget, but I feel like someone cant just change their mind that past that much. There must have been some truth, or she just is really depressed. I said the only way id even consider staying together after that was if she saw a doctor to help her decide what she wanted out of life..She agreed , but she's been saying that for months.
I dont know if I can forget and forgive. I feel like I should have enough Self Respect to make her stick to her words. I do love her, and it would be a huge inconveinence for both of us to split up. But on the other hand, I dont want to postpone the inevitable...
Can girls really be so confused about what they want? I feel like I owe it to myself to maybe even go out with another girl, just for a drink or two to see what it is like to be with someone else. I told her something like this, and she seemed realy upset, but what does she expect.
I am not a doormat. She ended it....Now am I a lying cheater if I meet a friend who happens to be a girl for a drink?
I wish she hadnt flipped out like she did, but whats done is done.
We are supposed to sign a lease in a couple of days, and I wonder is it just because she doesnt want to move back home.....
This girl has fucked up my head, and now Im not even sure of what I want....

 

Girls are overly complicated, especially when you're a dumb man, like we are. he he he... basically got the same meanness and treatment you did a few weeks ago but we worked through it. We have two kids and for one of us to move out would be extremely difficult financially. We seem to be moving on with it though, everything seems to be working better. Just gotta really try to get inside her head man and LISTEN, don't repsond LISTEN. Really hard for men because we are fix-it creatures, girls just want to vent and be heard. But yeah, money, stress, sex... She brought on the shitty sex part herself though. Hey, I gotta get a little punch in now and then, right?

 

Dont jump to a conclusion just like that regarding about her cheating? Their relationship is about 3 years and is pretty long. Is not only regarding about sex you know? Is about the happy times they spent togerther . And also not everyone is such a Bàstard like you that cheat on their partner .

 

You shouldn't stay with someone because it's convenient.

And no, her saying these things and being so inconsistent is not cool.

Abandon ship.