hey guys in need of help

hey all, been a while since i have posted on here, currently had a goo year so far went to the doctors to get my depression sorted out, and thoughts sorted, i was diagnosed with ocd due to the obbsessions i have and the compulsions i do which seems normal to me. my ocd consists of doing light switching things, shaking my bed quilt loads of times, thinking ov kids in a disgusting manner (dont worry i am in therapy and on medication), and homosexual thoughts. now the homosexual thoughts came when i was straight and never thought ov being gay, just new it wasnt for me, until that day i thought of it i started freaking out, and from then i have thought about everyday for the last 5 years everyday 24/7, it has being hard to deal with as the thoughts are intense and come into my head in random moments. i have thought about acting up on these thoughts due to it becoming so bad, but my therapist said it would be a bad idea due to making me worse. i am currently with a girl who i do like very much, but just cant stop thinking ov gay sex everyday, everyday 24/7, it use to be very disturbing to me, but now with going so long with this i have become use to it. like my therapist said you think ov anything for so ling u become use to it. so then i got diagnosed with hocd, which is homosexual ocd, and just know where i am at the moment. i mean if you get time read up on hocd for me and see what you think.

hope you are all well, and would appreciate if some of you could help me out

 

Is it wise to be in a relationship whilst you got all this going on? I dont mean to sound rude or nasty but you seem to have so much going on in your head it sounds like it could all blow up. And just so you know, its not cuz its with a girl, i just think that when you have so much stuff going on like you have, its best to just be by yourself and have only yourself to concentrate on...but thats just me.

How long have you been with this girl for? Does she know the full extent of your problems? And since when have you had thoughts about kids??

I think a lot more people than we think are ocd about certain things in there lives, like i have to have my dvd's in a certain order on the shelve, my food has to have the front of the packaging showing in the cupboards, my bathroom is the worst, my friends always move things just to wind me up and i go mad but thats who i am and i except it. Theres no point in worrying over things that you cant control.

 

yes i know but i seem to really like the girl, but this homosexual thoughts are hear everyday, i bend over to see what it would be like to be fucked by a man, i check my finger length cause apparnetly u can tell in finger ratios, i go on gay porn to see if i like it and have become so use to watching it, i dont know if i like it or not, i kiss the wall and pretend its a man to see if i like it, i got my ex to use a dildo on me to see if i liked it, i would be having sex with my ex and men would pop into my head like i have no control. and thats only half of it. thanyou for your reply crickey charlie, just need a little help

 

Your more than welcome. The whole finger ratio thing, forget about that, its like if a mans got big feet or hands, he therefore has a big cock, its all rubbish!

When your ex used a dildo on you, did you pretend it was a guy having sex with you? Did it turn you on even more if you did pretend it was a man?
Like when you were having sex with your ex, you said you used to get visions of men, is it like that with your new girlfriend?

Have you ever had an experience with another guy? Is it something you think would be nice but you know that if it were to actually be in front of you, you'd think 'oh, maybe not'?

Sorry for all the questions, its just so i get a better idea of whats going on.

 

when the dilod was used on me, i didnt really enjoy it at all, just didnt feel right, i didnt get an erection from it.

With my ex i would be kissing her, and men would pop into my head in controllable, like intrusively and stuff like that.

With my current girlfriend i kiss her but feels nice, i did get a man in my head once, and because i have become so use to the thoughts over the last 4 years it doesnt seem to bother me.

I got diagnosed with ocd, cause i have no control over what i do and think, i.e kids, gay sex, death, harming myself etc. i have thought about just going with a man just so then i could relax and answer my question, but it willnever answer my question i will be thinking like this forever. even if i didnt enjoy it i would still be thinking ov it, and even if i did it still wouldnt stop me thinking ov it, obssesed

 

Hey

It sounds like you have an extremely strong ability to focus. Yet at the same time, a extremely weak ability put that focus where you want.

You have to practice mental focusing. You have to practice faith and having the faith to focus in what really makes you happy.

Not faith as in religious faith. But the capacity to go from extremes of thought in spite of feeling a lack of authenticity.

A possible practice is repeating to yourself that God doesnt exist, in the religious sense and antyhing along those lines. Hear me out, even if you think you aren't affected by theistic thoughts because your most likely not a believer, does not mean that our inherently christian culture has not affected your subconscious. Sunconsious thoughts are at most lengths not self-apparent, they dont have the characteristic of being available for your to understand. Therefore, using a thought to premptivley make sure this isnt affecting you, is beneficial even if it doesnt seem like it.

The next thing is using images, such as colors, to refocus the mind. In essence, use creative measures to go on with focusing the mind and keep going on in spite of they way you feel.

It amazes me that you have the capacity to talk about this, it inspires me to ask for help, when I need it, but I cant accept I can.

Bye