since i've decided to grow dreads i've come across a lil bit of opposition to the idea...i thought it would be a good idea to start a thread where people can talk about what sort of issues they've had with other people regarding their dreads, and how they handled it... i've told quite a few people that im letting my hair dread...and i've gotten quite a mix of responses...most of my friends go along with the idea...i think the worst response i've gotten from a friend was "well it's your head, who am i to tell you what to do with it?" and from the same person "whatever makes you happy"... amazingly enough, outside of my current job (which i only have a few days left at YAY), my family has actually been my biggest obstacle...my parents explained that they thought it was a bad idea, my mom and step-dad saying that it's unwise professionally (which i can understand), and my dad saying that i'll be stereotyped a certain way (which i also understand), but aside from that and the occasional teasing they leave me alone to do what i want... the absolute *weirdest* part of this whole thing for me, is that, as most of you know, my brother is the foremost runner in the "dont do dreads" campaign, with his fiance and my sister close behind...my brother is having a wedding in october, so i can understand that he wants me to look nice for it and everything, but i dont understand why he refuses to compromise...my sister claims she doesnt want me to dread because of the wedding as well (she's 12, i *really* dont understand why she cares)... so far, my situation in unresolved... (to clarify, im not looking for advice as to what to do in my situation, i know most of you would say/have said "fuck him it's your head do what you want"...i just thought it would be good to hear stories from other people for things they've come across, how they handled it, and the end result)
When I first told people I was dreading my hair my sister told me she was starting a "don't get dreads Emma" group on facebook, my mom said she was afraid that my hair is going to get nasty and dirty, and my brother-in-law (a pastor) asked me if I was turning rastafarian. most of my family think that it's strange. I feel like I have to be super positive about them all the time because if I complain about them at all or have a bad dready day, they're like "yeah, your hair is too short anyway" or encouraging me to brush them out. but one of the reasons that I decided to get dreads was to help myself to care less about what people thought about me, so I take all the criticism as good practice. other than that my friends all think it's pretty cool, I think for a lot of them I'm the first dready person they know, so it's kind of a novelty for them
I'm feeling you mate, I kinda have a similar problem. My hair has reached an ideal length for my future dreadies, and I'm excited to start. My parents do not like or dislike dreads and my bro is even encouraging me like most of my friends. The only problem is my Girlfriend. Although I've tried to explain many times that dreads aren't evil, nasty or sinister, she just can't live with the idea of me having dreads. Maybe I should just 'man up myself' and start the process, but I think I just love her to much :3 Woosh, Simon
Most people don't smack talk me to my face so I have never had any problems. So my advice is don't look like a pansy
ive never had any negitived thing said about my deads except from my dad and brother (they think im trying to be black lol) andmy mom absolutly loves them (wants to get someherself lol) and all my friends do too andf my salon even likes them lol but i do get ppl joking about them but i do it to so its all good
one of my reasons as well...personally im just amazed that all the "practice" is comin from my family, i expected some resistance from my parents, not my siblings though
my mother hated the idea of me getting locks. she really doesn't understand the process and she doesn't seem to get that these are permanent. she was the only one that has said anything other than a stranger in a parking lot one day.
if they were just giving me shit for it i wouldn't care actually...im used to that...my whole family does that... here...just to give you a better idea of what's goin on ...this is something my bro posted on my facebook i replied that there are some dreadheads like that, but there are many that live "normal" lives, and that nothin about me would change except my hair...i will not be a bum simply b/c i have dreads (different words but that's the basic gist of it) he replied again : my reply : i think it's interesting that you and delaney have been my biggest opposition with this...mom dade and dale told me they thought it was not the best idea in the world, but pretty much left it at that... and if you remember a few years back, you had a pretty terrible haircut that you did purely because other people wanted you to, and you seemed to be pretty ashamed of it the haircut of his that im talking about was when he was a freshman at texas a&m, he shaved his head except for a "C" shape that stood about a half-inch tall...it was freshman hazing of sorts...they spelled out "CLASS OF 07 RAB" with their heads...or somethin like that...
Just ignore people. I think it's what you ahve to do, just smile and nod while completely not listening.
The only conversation where it could have been a problem was in talking to my boss. I've been working towards becoming a food service supervisor. I was talking to my boss about that. I had never met her because she took over while I was on Mat leave. Anyhoo, she explained that she was unsure about me when we first met when I came back because of my image. I'm a little colorful, and have dreads obviously. She stated this might be a problem when I'm going around to new nursing homes opening up. the stereotype that dreads are dirty, and smoking pot and yadda yadda. I then expressed to her that I do in fact smoke pot, which she laughed at and said "you'd never know. In fact I'm pretty sure you'd show by the intellect with which you speak, and your drive, that you'd win over anyone in an interview." I think its up to me to be me despite what people might think of my hair. Frankly I'd be annoyed if my hair held me back, but its my job to ensure that that doesn't happen. Personally, I've always be wierd, so having dreads is just me being me. My family didn't even blink an eye.
my family hate my hair, my mother is just hoping that they become "perfect" dreads and look really presentable. my dad gives me some shit about it from time to time and my older brother does every chance he gets. I stopped caring what they thought of my personal apperance years ago when i first started growing my hair long, what i love the most is that it opened the door for my younger brother who is just finding his place in the world to not have to get the same crap i did from them cause they had to deal with me first
LOL i said this in my post and ill say it again Having dreads is sort of like wearing a big sing that says "Hate Me" and underneath that in parenthesis (dont hesitate to judge) ....at least from my experience ......But when ever i come across people saying rude things or whatever i just question thier questions and the motives behind them....some people are just missinformed about dreads and thats why they have prejudices towords them....but then you get the other 50% that just plain dont like them and call you "Ugly", "Hippie" ,"Poo head" ect.....These people on the other hand should simply be ignored for they are ignorant. I just remember that hair is not an identity, but an amplification of the soul.
:cheers2: my out look and exactly! tannaleigh, you are so wise but maybe its just cause i live in washington, or that i hang out with really awesome people, but no one has ever said anything really about my dreads. like initially everyone just wants to touch them, and then its over and they don't say much at all. i'm even up for a promotion. but my mom hasn't seen them yet, and my older family, i don't really talk to. but even when i have funny hair i know no one really judges me for that anyways. those who know me love me or are just eh, about me.
I've never had any issues or insults towards my dreads But then again I do carry around a axe everywhere
well, neither of my parents know i am dreading my hair. my dad lives in WA and i haven't seen my mom since i started- i guess she'll find out tomorrow when we visit for mom's day! lol. I'm 100% positive neither of them will like it. But.... they've learned to live with my hai choices. I've been all kinds of colors, my hair hasn't been it's natural color since i was 16. At one point i started shaving my head and kept it that way for a year and a half. I've had one family member actually tell me she doesn't want me to dread my hair. Everyone else, including my boyfriend, either don't care or think it's pretty awesome. they understand it's *my* hair. In any event, i've decided to not bother bracing myself for the backlash i'm sure to get tomorrow when my mom sees my hair. Luckily we deal with things like this with a big pinch of humor, so it shouldn't be too horrible.
I did get some negative comments on my first set, mostly cause they were poofy as hell and looked seriously funny even I would make fun of them, but aside from the joking my family, mostly my parents, said I don't care what you do with your hair but Im not gonna help. most negative it got with my second set was friends telling me that I shouldnt have gotten dreads cause I had "beautiful hair" oh and I pretty much told my aunt to go fuck herself cause she was being rude, annoying and pretty much like a mean old lady
dude, just get them! your girlfriend should be supporting you, part of loving someone is loving that they are their own person, completely apart from you, and letting them be an individual is key. My boyfriend loves my dreads, I have tattoos, tunnels, he loves it all. But he has none of these things, and never wants them. Part of the reason we love each other so much is because we let us be each other and love each other more for being ourselves (we've been together nearly 5 years, it's great, not saying we don't argue but it's great) sorry, I just had to say something about that because it's always too sad when people try and change their mates. I knew a girl who put her boyfriend on a diet (he was ultra pussy whipped), I thought that was totally unacceptable, I mean, if you love him and you're with him, why change him? Christ. Maybe I'm just reading into your post too much and drawing silly conclusions about her pressuring you, but still, just do what you want. My family makes fun of me all the time, but they also all assumed that I'd comb them out or cut them off by now. They also assumed I wouldn't be a vegetarian for very long, and here I am four years later. It's a journey, dude. The present is so temporary. In a few years you'll have rad dreads and they'll all be in awe of your determination.
