I'm not sure where I should be posting this... here it goes: Me and my boyfriend have been togheter for over 6 years now. I've never had a love relationship with anyone else before him and neither did he. I was very immature when I met him, I was just horny... I can't say I was physically attracted to him at first...I think I would have given a chance to practically anyone who had the hots for me. I've had doubts since the beginning regarding whether or not we're right for each other. But how should I know? I have no ex's to compare him to... I'm a bit of an insecure person too and have grown very attached to him, now I can't see myself living without him. We hardly ever talk about "us"... lack of communication has always been a big issue and still is to this day. I have attempted to talk about problems I had with the relationship in the past without much success: I could often tell he was getting irritated or offended so I just quit all togheter. Our sex/intimacy life no longer exists... mostly because he never initiates anything/never feels like having sex and partly because I am angry at him.
sounds to me like things are just comfortable for the two of you. you're in a place where you might be afraid of exploring other options outside this current relationship. you don't sound too happy and neither does he. maybe you two are friends more than anything else and maybe that's as far as your relationship with him should be. i realize it's hard to find a new boyfriend, but from what you have said, there's no chemistry between you guys anymore. you deserve to be happy just like he does. maybe you should consider testing the waters out a bit and start going out on dates with other men.
lack of communication has always been a big issue and still is to this day It's my opinion that that is the single biggest issue that breaks up couples. The sex follows from this, but it's almost as important, because if he's not getting it from you, eventually he'll get it somewhere else. Are you happy? I think that's the question you have to answer for yourself. If the answer is "no" and you want to stay together, see if you can get some counseling. If he won't go, then you'll have to work this out totally on your own. The best of luck to you
do you love him? do you feel there is something special for him you keep in your heart? have you ever felt free to open up your soul to him ? If yes then fight for your love. Sit down with him and say what bothers you, say you love him, say you want to share with him all that is good and bad. if not...if you are bored of him already, if whatever you do do not make your communication easier then go away. Its for the best for both of you.
I feel safe with him and I'm stuck in this comfort zone. But I've known for a long time that I am not happy with some aspects of our relationship. I'm just really afraid of leaving him, it would be my first break-up, I don't know how I would handle it, I'm extremely attached to him and so is he. I don't think he has any idea that I'm thinking about breaking-up, which is not surprising because we never talk. I honestly don't know what he would do if I told him I was leaving... part of me has a hard time talking to him because I fear his reactions... although he has never physically abused me, I've seen how upset he can get over the littlest things.. I'm afraid that by breaking-up or even just offending him while communicating, I might make his blood boil to the point where he'd become aggressive. Now, don't get me wrong: he is a nice guy in many ways: he is sweet, respectful, funny, faithful... I know he loves me VERY much in his own way... But I don't want to live like this forever, I want to experience passionate love, I want someone who's crazy about me, who knows what to do in bed and who loves to give. I am willing to give, I have given but I don't want to give anymore: he has turned-me off wanting to have sex with him. I am so angry with him that I want to make him miserable in bed. However, we have gone for months without having sex and he seems fine with that. I remember him once telling me that women had no sex drive, that they were just "doing it" to please men. Well, between the two of us, I think I have a much higher sex drive. I do love him in many aspects... I realize that I'm playing games and that this can't go on forever. I need to communicate with him but I'm not sure how... I have talked to him in the past about our sex life and I had a good cry while doing it... I think it scared him more than anything, instead of working on our problems, we ended up having less sex... I am SO angry at him with this aspect of the relationship that I don't know how I could communicate the problems without having intense emotions get in the way. This talk is long overdue! I thought maybe I should write him a letter instead. I really don't want to do it but I know I will have to eventually
hahaha, u suck at this. i think he's gonna break up with you because you're really insecure and you're holding him back by not giving him your all. you might want to break up with him before he has a chance to break up with you. being the breaker is better than the broken.
I honestly don't think that's going to happen... unless I start speaking up, then he might get annoyed with me and realize we're too different
You said that you would write a letter instead of talking to him. If you do not feel comfortable talking to your bf of 6 years about your relationship, that is def. an issue. It is prob. scary to think about what your life will be like with out him if you do break up. Not going to lie, break ups suck! But what it comes down to is that you have to care about yourself in ordered to be cared for. Make sure you are not staying in this relationship because you NEED him to feel good about yourself, or to feel like you're wanted and desired. Stay and continue with this relationship only if you can truely express how you feel to him and are happy with yourself, inside and out. I wish the best for you.
yes, it's time to do the grown-up thing and talk like adults. but before you do, i think you will need to think of things in retrospect, and decide about what you want to do with your life too. best of luck.
