(I posted this on the relationships forum but there so few active there that I hope this may get more response here) I used to be a user here back in 2004, since then I have forgotten my username and password. I returned today for no real reason but to explain my situation and see if anyone has any input that might help. This thread may be hard to reply to, I don't expect many to understand this situation. There is no specific question involved, only a "personality description" and how it's related to my problems... Let's begin... I rarely talk about my problems to anyone, not to friends or family. Now that might be a serious problem on my behalf, but that's not why I'm here. Every relationship I have ever had has been a complete disaster. They are shortlived, confusing and end badly. I have an intense dislike for people, not in a teenage "rebellious" kind of way. I consider myself to be a grownup, I keep an open mind to everything and everyone. But there can be no other conclusion to humans, because the human race as a whole is pathetic and ignorant. This however, is a strong contradiction to my need for a relationship, with every passing week/month I feel lonelier and lonelier. This feeling has started to affect my social "abilities" and everyday activity. The few people I have been and am interested in (mostly the opposite gender), are not interested in me or already taken. Which is probably because of my "radical" personality, I don't classify myself as special to make me feel superior to anyone but I have a way of thinking that few people to none have ever come close to understand. I'm nearly 22 years old, I'm male. I have no physical or mental problems, I'm fairly tall and pretty good looking (no ego intended). I have no real reason to complain about my life, I have a good family and I live very well. My only real problem may be my strong tendency to smoke marijuana, not in excessive amounts though. My desire for "love" has become so strong that I can't sleep at night. It occupies my mind at day and troubles me constantly, it's a very pathetic thing to say, but it's true. I'm used to being a loner, depending on mostly myself, but it's harder now than it used to be. My former relationships, as stated above, lasted a short time and ended in pure horror. Somehow they got so screwed up that now there is strong mutual hatred between me and my former "lovers". Because of this, I have almost lost all hope in relationships and it's having strong negative effects on every aspect of my personality. I've always been considered more negative than others (though I think of myself as a realist) but now I'm become even more negative. I don't let my feelings affect other people and when I feel too down I usually seclude myself so other people don't have to feel my "negativity". I don't have problems in communicating with others, but I as I stated above, I have an intense dislike for people. Young people in my country are superficial, uninformed and enjoy trivial and boring things. This criticism is very harsh and it's strongly connected to my "negativity" but it's also true. I don't blame others for my problems, my life as it is now is my fault, so this is not intended as nagging. I'm trying to keep myself from ranting and find a point with this speech. I'm very confused and have been for a long time, not only about my "inability" to maintain relationships and losing people I've loved, but also because the older I get the more desperate my feelings become. If you have managed to read this far and have any ideas to comment on, please do...
You're a pessimist!! haha... no really, I think you need to try make some friends. All of your relationships have ended badly and you feel lonely so ditch the relationship thing for a while. Try and make friends you can relate to that you share a common interest with, be it music, politics, computers, whatever you're into. If you're 22 I'm guessing you're in your final year of college. If so, join a society!! Meet people that don't irritate you. You might find you get a solid group of friends and if you're lucky, something more from one of them I'd never preach about relationships since I've never been in a longterm emotional relationship but if you're lonely you need friends. Friends are there before and after the lovers (especially after when you feel like shit). They're more important.
I have to agree with bisexualnutcase (that was fun to type) here about you being pessimistic. If you think everyone is dislikable, you obviously haven't met enough people. All this is rooting from your distaste for everyone else, the yearning for love isn't the cause, neither is the fact that no-one is interested. Alot of us know how shit humans/people are. I'm one of those people who, if I were given a button to wipe out all of humanity and its works, I would press it. Our goods can never overcome how we always manage to cock shit up for everything else on the planet. People are shallow, niave, and don't apprieciate how lucky we all are that this exists and instead hail some invisible man for creating it? Those are my reasons, I have no doubt you and many others have their own. You're not special at all (in that aspect at least). Get over it, look past people's flaws and start seeing what's good about them. If you're not ready to do that, then you'll have to go without.
"I'm one of those people who, if I were given a button to wipe out all of humanity and its works, I would press it." Remind me never to give you a button.
Jestinburh: I'm glad you like my username... haha! But seriously, wipe out humanity? You're being such a queen... There's more to life than perfection. Hell, everything in life lacks perfection! If we were perfect we'd have a very boring Stepford-like world! The two of you need to wake up and smell the coffee!! Life is great...most of the time and when it's shit, you use whatever you love to pick yourself back up. (For me it's music... Everytime I feel like shit I suddenly get a spout of practicing music for hours on end. Something to focus on until the shit stops to matter or the person goes away.) I agree with you,about seeing past flaws, Jesus if we didn't we'd go mad!!!! haha
Hehe, especially those evil world blower-upper buttons they've begun making! And don't get me wrong, I'm not goth or any of that stuff. I really enjoy life and I know it's amazing and that there're all the little good things aswell. I'm not niave. But I also realise that out existance is slowly killing everything else, just because I'm a human it doesn't mean I can't think that sacrificing our species to allow millions upon millions of others to thrive would be a good thing. And no, I'm also not a nature freak. The only reason people don't think this way is because they don't value other species as much as ours, simply because they don't possess higher-level thinking. Wow, I sound like a hippie now! Bear in mind i'm coming across wierder than I am. T_T I didn't say I'd do it because we aren't perfect. I'm not a freak.... promise! *crazy laugh*
Wow, I sound like a hippie now! Bear in mind i'm coming across wierder than I am. Hippies and other assorted weird-o's are probably the best people for taking care of the planet and all its inhabitants. But I also realise that out existance is slowly killing everything else, just because I'm a human it doesn't mean I can't think that sacrificing our species to allow millions upon millions of others to thrive would be a good thing. And no, I'm also not a nature freak. The only reason people don't think this way is because they don't value other species as much as ours, simply because they don't possess higher-level thinking. I'm reading the book "The Lost Language of Plants" which talks about that exact thing...humans showing no respect for the planet or its other inhabitants. Rather than highjack the OP's post , it might make a good topic for a new thread if anyone's interested.
Haha... Yeah well I don't think we need to eradicate our species to stop killing off others we just need to be more conscientious and stop supporting corporations which endanger other life forms whether or not their products are nicer/ cheaper, etc. Anyway, we've kind of run way off topic so I'm going to leave this here concerning nature and other environmental stuff. Where's the original poster???
You sound a little like I was when I was younger. Just smoke more weed. That's what I did when I was your age and it seemed to help. I learned to laugh at other people's stupidity rather than be bothered by it. You can't do anything about the fact that most people are pretty worthless, just try to find a few people who have enough in common with you to form a solid core group of friends. You're only 21, so don't worry too much about not finding anyone for a serious relationship right away. Take care of yourself and relationships will come in time, usually when you least expect it.
