what do you do when common sense fails you?

i went to a race party in indy this weekend. we stayed the night at one friends house, but the party was at another.

i was one of two guys there, and the only uninvolved one. there were seven of us, total.

of the five girls, there were two i have some interest in, though i am attracted to all but one of them.

one was really fucking cute, and really fucking sexy...petite, blonde, great personality, great ass, single, perky little tits, and i don't know her that well....only met her a few times....

the other i'm close friends with, has a boyfriend of a couple years, wonderful tna, cute as hell, and i have a crush on her. we wouldnt make a good match, and honestly despite how much i want her, i'd prefer "friends with benefits" to dating, though that almost surely wont happen. either scenario, i mean.

the one i'm friends with i can't really resist. and while she's taken, she's very prone to cuddling and flirting. and she knows how i feel about her, and she's told me on multiple occasions that she'd go for me if she was single.

i haven't seen her in a couple weeks, and apparently we behaved in such a manner that two people asked her if there was something going on.

bedding was limited and we'd all been drinking. i ended up sharing a bed with the girl i have a crush on and another chick. in the morning, the other chick accused us of being too "cutesy" together, which has some significance upon which i won't bother to elaborate.






my issue is this: there were two girls i wanted. one of which i wanted more despite being taken AND a little bit less physically attractive. the one i could potentially have a chance with seemed to like my company. yet i couldnt resist cuddling up with the taken one, who also was very affectionate towards me.

despite much physical affection i didn't so much as kiss her on the lips, feel her up (except for the butt a little) or get to third. it was all fairly close, of course, especially while we were falling asleep next to each other.

but what the fuck happened? i know i have no real chance with her, and even if i did i wouldn't want to date her because it wouldnt work out and would ruin more than one good friendship. on the other hand, we were so touchy-feely that three out of five people (excluding ourselves in the grand total) mentioned something. but all this time there was a single girl to whom i was even more attracted to physically. whats wrong? its not like we could have gone to bed together or anything, but despite an actual opportunity, i went for being all cuddly and loveydovey with the taken girl.

pisses me off. poor judgment. should have resisted, not participated in any cuddling, tickling, or whatnot. should have made it clear i was single, and if anything flirted with the more appropriate girl.

but thats not how it worked out. left more frustrated than i arrived.\

anyway, how do you deal with it when common sense fails you, or you just ignore it? me, i'm drinking a little, and for the first time in a couple days i masturbated, and it was just what i needed.......almost.......

 

the one thats harder to attain is more desirable, thats usually how it goes. wanting what you can't have.

 

Sounds like the break didn't really help...Though it was a bit her fault as well. I hate situations like that. Next time flirt with the available girl.

When common sense fails me I try to learn from the experience and then put it out of my mind.

 

You lost me at "race party" when glorious images of the upcoming race war filled my head.

 

I could not handle having a life as complicated as yours.

 

it was for the indy 500, which none of us watched or cared about. pure excuse.

 

it did and it didnt. i find her hard to resist, despite being a bad match. just too sexy, and personality goes a long way in that department (if i dont sound like a women yet, this probably pushes it over the edge)

i know more than before what a bad match it would be, and that i want nothing beyond the current friendship except for physical stuff. whatever. i'm less infatuated with her, but when it comes down to it i can't keep away from her when shes there.

 

my life isn't complicated, though my social life, and that of my friends, is currently a bit complicated. overall things are fine, but whatever. i guess it makes sense that people would comment on me being overly dramatic despite simply relating things as they are. as if they are above such human events and emotions, however childish they may be....

 

You don't sound like a woman. I can understand that. I have a friend that jumps me as soon as we hang out. He isn't interested in a relationship with me - he knows I won't have sex with him but we have been too "cutesy" as well. It happens. Next time just don't ignore the cute available girl. :cheers2:

 

i didn't, but i failed to ignore the taken girl to the point that the other became a blatant impossibility.

and yeah, i meant woman, not women. damn rum!

 

You're probably better off than me due to the fact that you have a social life, whereas I currently have about 2 real friends, and if you can deal with it then thats ok. I personally couldn't. I used to have a life like yours and one day I lost the plot, saw most of my friends as unnecessary baggage and went on to become somewhat of a loner. I also don't bother with most women (except for casual sex or friendship) unless I know they're right for me, which pretty much saves a lot of time because few of them are. I just felt such a weight lift from my mind when I stopped being so concerned with other people, I felt human for the first time in my life. Now I'm starting to see the downside and I feel lonely and undignified, I think some balance is necessary but everybody is different.

 

from the sound of it i'm the opposite. i've been a loner pretty much all my life. only recently have i had a group of friends where i truly care about each of them....last time such a situation was in place i was maybe 12 or 13.

i haven't been with a woman in a very long time. this is alright, except the loneliness, which would persist unless i found the right one for me anyhow, so i try not to stress out about it too much anyway, but its so damned persistent. i think thats why physical affection from my friend is so irresistible, despite being a dead end road.

the other girl i was attracted to....i also dont see that going anywhere, not really a good match. but shes single, not a close friend of mine, and not around much as a close friend of my close friends.........so even if nothing worked out, if there was a possibility of something more than i have now, i'd think she should be first choice.

but i neglected her in favor of the worse choice....

i think its less about wanting the harder-to-get (as has been suggested) than it is about settling for whats easily available...


but i really dont know.

anyway, face eater, sorry if i was too condescending in my response. its been a tiresome weekend.

 

You weren't at all. I felt that maybe I was.

I don't have any advice to give, but when women and alcohol are involved I NEVER show common sense (That is if you were drunk). I usually drop the amazing, beautiful woman (good future prospects, but no sex) for the desperate, slightly pretty girl that I don't really like (guaranteed sex) and regret it for years afrer.

 

There is nothing you can do if common sense fails you. Just learn from it and move on. Try not getting yourself into situations that might create that again.

Why don't you just fuck the girl and be done with it?

 

i would need to have common sense in the first place in order for it to fail me...