Are you detached?

I suck at computer games. Failing all the time really annoys me... so I post here instead

 

No.

 

maybe you should like knit sweaters insted...you might be good at it and at least you'll free up some internet.

 

You tryin' to get me of the internet?!

Because I should tell you now, it won't work. I've tried.

 

lolzers.

do you have an internet addiction, jai?

you know, there is help out there. you have to first recognize a problem.

 

It's dialectical. And in either event it doesn't matter. People say that being confident or unconcerned makes you get the girl or the job, but I haven't experienced that at all.

It just sounds like a cute way to pretend we have control over things. Like, "If I'm detached, I'll get a favorable outcome."

I've picked up chicks and overcame severe challenges in my life in moments of profound self-doubt, insecurity, and need. I just rolled with it.

I say it's dialectical because I frequently experience emotional opposites as the same thing. I've become brave because of fear, I've become conciliatory out of anger, I've been happy in the acceptance of my sadness.

Even paralysis-by-analysis has served it's purpose in certain ways. Sometimes at the extreme end of analysis there is thoughtlessness and calm. Sometimes I think so much, I stop thinking.

So, saying "I'm trying to control what I cannot control" is sometimes enough. "I'm trying to detach from outcome" is also good. Or, "I want a favorable outcome."

"I shouldn't feel this way" is ok, but I prefer saying, "I don't like the way I feel right now."

We're playing a game with rules than can at any moment prove to be the exception outside all rules.

 

sometimes i wish i were more detached, then i'd feel more balanced and centered - but, gotta love that roller coaster of being "in it"! (i better love it, i often have no choice, hahahaha)

 

:cheers2:

 

i like to think i'm attached to healthy emotions and detached from unhealthy emotions/things, if that made sense. i didnt read the whole thread.

 

Ah, I never said being detached would get you the girl.

Detachment is being unconcerned about an outcome. If you get the girl great, if not it does not bash your self esteem and you are off to hit on the next one.

If you don't get the job, you are ready to head to the next interview,

Detachment does not guaranty any result. It just saves you inner turmoil so if the outcome is not what you want you can go on with whatever you are seeking.

You said some things that go into other areas but I am off to go have fun.

But in my mind our thinking is not much different. But I always like how you disagree, when there is not much we disagree on.

BTW: Just rolling with it, despite the fear or insecurity...is detachment.

 

I concur, buddy. I identify with your experience of the world. Most the time I disagree without disagreeing. That's because fixed ideas only work for a time in my life.

I would only add to your post that detachment (I don't really like the word) or "rolling with it" (better[for now!]) is the realization that we don't know what is good. Not getting a girl or a job might be a good thing. Sometimes I realize that when I fix goals for myself and tie it to my happiness, I am prioritizing the girl or job over my happiness.

Which is just insane...and yet, seeking the girl or job might be enough to make us happy. Seeking just to seek is true playfulness. And accepting my attachment without projecting on to my object of attachment.

I know nothing else. I figure something out anew every time I contemplate the subject.

Have fun! I just finished a long assignment and I'll be doing the same.

 

Baaaaad you!

 

no fucking way, but i wish i was. i dont know how to detach.