First time having sex...how do I not suck so much next time?

WARNING: This is somewhat graphic. I'm not trying to be disgusting, because my questions are totally serious. If you have a problem with it, stop reading now.

I'm a 25 year old guy, and I'm a virgin. Other than a couple times back when I was 19, I'd never even gotten past second base with a girl until this past weekend. Anyway, I was out with this girl last weekend and we hit it off pretty well. At the end of the night, she invited me into her apartment and we went upstairs and things started getting hot and heavy. The problem was...I had absolutely no idea what to do since I'm a virgin, and we were both somewhat drunk (her moreso than me).

After several minutes of very awkward fumbling, I was able to get her bra and pants off. Things went well for a little while...we manually and orally pleased each other. And although I'm sure I was just as clueless in those areas as I am when it comes to actual sex, she seemed to enjoy it so I think I did OK.

But then came the main event. She said she wanted to have sex, and I was eager to lose my virginity. I had two condoms with me "just in case." I took the first one out...but I'd never used one before, other than practicing a couple times. I fumbled around with it for a few minutes, but I lost my erection before I was able to get it on. She helped me get erect again and she helped me put on the second condom.

So great, time to have sex. Right? Well...I got on top of her in missionary position, but try as I might, I couldn't get Screw A to go into Slot B. Although I had anticipated a few problems, this was not a problem that I ever imagined. I always assumed that my penis would naturally find its way into her vagina. It always looks so easy in porno. I tried for several minutes, but eventually I went soft again without penetrating her.

Then she got on top of me, but by this point, my penis went on strike and I was unable to get hard enough for long enough to get it inside of her. When she tried to straddle it and put it in her, it just folded over. Eventually, we both gave up and just did oral things instead.

She knew I was a virgin, but she isn't exactly the patient type (and she was a bit drunk anyway). She kept making comments like "Just put it inside me," "Figure it out yourself," "Why do you keep going soft? Don't you think I'm pretty?" and "If you can get it inside of me then I'll be your girlfriend." These kind of remarks did not exactly make the situation less stressful.

I *really* don't want this to happen again next time. How can I not suck so much? Does practicing with a condom when you're by yourself actually help? I've never really noticed any problems with erectile dysfunction when I've flown solo in the past...is this something I should be worried about, and do I need to see a doctor about it at my age? To be honest, I was expecting the opposite problem...getting TOO aroused and cumming too soon. Is penetration ALWAYS this difficult when you don't know what you're doing? The fact that I was not able to do this really came as a total surprise to me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

you don't have ED. i've been with numerous virgins, and most guys get nervous and have trouble the first 3 times they have sex. once you get used to it, you'll be fine. also, you said you had a lot to drink, which can inhibit your ability to keep an erection. next time, keep the drinking to a minimum and perhaps try girl-on-top so that she can put it in herself

 

shit i was so nervous the first time i had to take a tranquillizer. it worked!

 

I have never had this problem. Not that I could find it with a map the first few times, but I never had to. My partners were always very good about guiding me...

Anyway, you gotta lube up your dick, and use it to rub her clit and spread her labia a bit. Get that working, and it will find its way.

 

I am 19 years old, and I recently lost my virginity to my current girlfriend. I also had trouble staying erect, most likely due to nerves. But for me the ONLY time it was a problem is when we took a condom out and tried to put it on. I would lose my erection shortly after that. This happened the first night we tried(she was a v too), but we got through that problem by letting me penetrate her without a condom on. I was on top of her and I went inside and after my dick got a "taste" of her, she slid the condom on and we were in business. Hope this helped. :cheers2:

 

No offense, but she sounds like a bitch. She could've taken charge, jeez. You're automatically just born with sexual know-how because your male? There's a first time for everything and your first time having sex should be relaxed and not stressful. Certainly not strained by an impatient, rude, snob.

 

Sloppy wet oral followed by immediate penetration, no condom. Good luck.

 

Yea man, she doesn't sound like a nice girl at all. Especially the "if you can get it inside me than ill be your girlfriend." What kind of game playing bullshit is that? How are you supposed to get hard for a someone like that? Find a girl who actually cares about you and understands you're not experienced.

 

He's trying.

 

:cheers2:

 

Sex is one of those areas where sucking a lot is generally regarded as a positive thing.

 

I think not being drunk next time would definitely help with the erection issue.

 

how come im not as good as a pro baseball player the first time i played baseball?

 

exactly practie makes perfect.

asfor the girls comments, sounds like a hoe, no offense,

oh well just do stuff together and get comfortable with each other and all will be well

 

Well, I saw the girl again last night. This time both of us were sober...and I still had the same problems! Gah, this sucks.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to see her anymore. When I had trouble putting on the condom / losing my erection, she kept begging me to do it without the condom. I *really* have a problem with that, and told her I wasn't going to do it unprotected. From that point on, she literally whined every couple minutes about doing it without a condom. After we messed around for a while, I put the condom on as far as I could get it (which was probably totally wrong) and got on top of her. She tried to guide my penis into her vagina, and since I couldn't see it I asked if the condom was still on. She said yes, but then I found it laying underneath us. I don't know if it fell off or if she deliberately pulled it off...but in any case, she lied to me and made it so that I couldn't trust her to take charge in light of my inexperience.

Anyway, I stopped what I was doing right away and we won't be seeing each other again. So I guess I'm going to remain a sort-of virgin for a little while longer...sighhh.

 

viagra?

 

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think that works if it's just nervousness/inexperience rather than erectile dysfunction.

 

Chin up. Next time will be better. Sometimes waiting is worthwhile.

 

I think it just might have been a problem since it was so friggen awkward.. That chick does not sound like anyone you would want to lose your virginity to. You can find much better. someone that'll be patient and help guide you through it instead of whine and bitch ,, Where d you find that skank anyways? lol.... Next time will be sooo much better for you

 

A) She is a bitch for not helping you out more
B) I have heard several stories of friends losing their erections while losing their virginity because of how nervous they were... not uncommon