what the fuck do i have to do???

well, here's my story as of the last week up until now.
last week i tried my fucking hardest to get my boyfriend to have sex with me. as a last resort, i put my hand in his pocket and all he said was "what are you doing?" like i know, it's not a big deal...well, okay, it fucking is...it doesn't make me feel good as a girlfriend or a person. i mean, i wouldn't even care if we didn't have sex, it's just that if he didn't want it, he could have said something, instead of acting totally oblivious. if he did realize that i was doing what i was doing, that is. i don't know how you could ignore a hand within less than an inch of your dick, but i guess it could happen.

this week, on monday, my boyfriend went to the doctors with some issues (possibly due to his acne medication, accutane), the doctor told him to lay off sexual activity...we already weren't going to have sex this week because his schedule is fucked up. so, here's to another two to three weeks without sex. but i can understand, doctor said so.

also, this week, i started a weightloss program that has me on phentermine (an appetite suppressant) and wellbutrin (an antidepressant). well, last night, i didn't feel like eating so...i didn't. and when my boyfriend was getting offline to go to bed he asked me if i was going to go to bed to because i had told him that i was tired a little while before. i told him that i didn't really care enough to move and that i'm just going to ignore the feeling and that nothing has been this easy in my whole entire life. (which, i guess, wasn't a good thing to say, but i was being honest.) well, then he said "go to bed. please." and i told him that i didn't want to, which wasn't lying, i had previously taken a nap for two hours before i got online. i just didn't feel like sleeping anymore. he said "fine whatever, goodnight." and then got offline. then, i sent him a message saying that "just because i'm having a few problems with the medication i'm on doesn't mean you can just walk out on me." which, now i realize that this was a stupid thing to say because i got this in a text...
"this has nothing to do with the problems with the medication. you can sleep. you're just choosing not too, to ignore it because you can't feel it because of the meds. and if you want to just let it own you like that fine w/e i'm not going back and forth about this right now, i'm tired and want to sleep and it's not like you haven't done that to me many of times for less of reasons. yet i wouldn't get a response back for a long time instead of two minutes. but w/e. oh and the logging off right after you send that...and you know i'll see it. right away is walking off too. love you too."

i don't know what it is that's changed, but i don't like it. i don't know what to do...i guess what i'm looking for is some sort of advice...what the hell am i doing wrong? i know i say stupid things pretty much all of the time...i'm working on that. i just don't know what to do anymore...i've been on edge even before the medication...i just want to cry all the time...seriously, if you showed me something sad right now, i'd probably cry hysterically for at least five minutes...i've never been this way before...i don't know what to do.

 

sounds mostly like you're both on edge, having issues with your meds and really, at that age, emotions are constantly fluctuating......

this is a good time to practice thinking before you speak, as you're both just saying things that you feel off the top of your heads....no matter how much you love a person, it's still hard to listen to some of the things they say when they're just spouting "feelings" - hard to be objective, play the role of parent/counselor when you're wrapped up in being lovers, at any age

this is also a good time for you to learn how to channel your emotions into creative pursuits - create beautiful writings or works of art

things between you and he should resolve themselves if the love is there, and i feel it is - you're both just going through your own difficult time - there is the potential to come out the other side stronger than ever

 

I think you're much too concerned with this guy who seems to have little interest in you....

take some time off

get your head straight, get off the meds and find out who you really are before embarking in another relationship.

good luck

 

Nah, it's not that.. I e-know them pretty well and they're totally into each other.. it's just a rough patch.

Things will get better..

 

mayb he's gay