People who dont grow up...

or whose parents dont allow them to grow up, or encourage this non-growinguppery...Whats it all about?

People calling themselves kids in their late teens and even up to their late 20's (especially in America it seems) Getting their mummies to do their washing as they dont know how to work the machine, and the mummies happily making them sandwiches and meals as theyd "only make a mess anyway" if they did it themselves...(I do have a certain older person in mind)

Of course this is everyones individual choice, but I cant help wondering why anyone would want to stay in such a childlike state at such an age, Id be embarassed personally

Thats it really

 

i agree.

i moved out at 16 and even as soon as i got my first part time job at 13, my mum insisted she wasnt buying anything except food for me again. and she didn't. i bought everything myself which taught me how to manage, and the value of money very young. ive also never been much of a spender so managed to save up and move out. i've never looked back since.

it annoys me too. people that get there assed wiped by there family forever more. i know my mum would be there for me if everything went to shit and i know she would help me out as much as she can as she has in the past. but sadly i rarely see her and have grown up so much especially since moving 300 miles away from my friends and family. i wish i was nearer and miss them, but i think i will always be greatful for the experience. as it's defiantley made me a much stronger person. and i'm glad my mum or any of my family never wrapped me up in cotton wool. they let me make mistakes and do stupid things and fend for myself. but that's what made me grow up.









wasn't that a lovely story. :tongue:

 

It was Opel!

Im the same, moved out at 16, was doing all my washing, cooking, saving etc by around 12-13 I think. Yeah Ive had some rough times where I definitely could have used some guidance (still do!)...but I only have the one parent, and shes an older mum with enough on her plate with my siblings (all older )and other stresses. I have no (ok, few) regrets, I too value the experience and yeah, it makes you grow up alright

I just dont get how so many people the same age or older seem to be in a completely different world, where theyre a defenseless child who needs handouts and their bed making for them, and its all about what their mum and dad think and spending other peoples money in clubs. I loved gaining my independence from family

As I said their choice, but a mystery to me

 

I think too many people who move out early and have deadbeat parents, i.e. ones who can't even support them financially through college, which is sad if you ask me, get a chip on their shoulders about it like somehow they are better than everyone else because they were thrown into the world and expected to do things faster.

Big. Freakin. Deal. You knew how to do laundry first. Great. Good for you. I didn't have to do my laundry until I was 23, but so what? By that point I had written two books and I had two black belts! While you were doing laundry and all of these other "wonderful" things, I was doing things few people ever do their in lives. I'd rather be me! It takes no time whatsoever to figure out how to do laundry, especially as a guy. I heard people complain about this when I was younger, now I do my own and I just go throw it in the wash, on cold every time because my clothes are easy, and it comes out, throw it in the dryer, and it comes out. And I just hang my pants and shirts so no folding necessary. Very easy arrangement! It's not rocket science.

By contrast I've seen kids who had to buy everything themselves when they were 15 and 16, and they got lousy grades because they had to work earlier, and those jobs are not anything that teach you about ANYTHING in life. In fact, they teach you how to be someone else's slave, which is worse than useless. They waste your time for money that isn't even worth getting out of bed for, while other students who have parents who actually thought having kids through properly pay for their kids so they can study hard and learn more valuable tools in life.

I'm not impressed by the kids who become "adults" too quickly, because they generally become adults with little value!

 

I think it's alright to an extent. I'm 27 and live out of home but I've been and gone a bunch of times. when Im living at home my Mum still does my hair for me half the time, she cooks dinner and there is a magic box that dirty clothes go in and come out clean. Love it!

 

I have lived life too. Ive done some great things since I became an adult. The difference is I wasnt expecting someone else to do all the basics. You can do both. I also went to college and got an education

I dont really think we moved out "early". We moved out when we became able to support ourselves

I hardly have a "chip on my shoulder" anyway, this is UK randomness and this was something I randomly thought about...and of course I have to watch my older mother be taken advantage of by my much older siblings who are more than capable of doing things themselves if only they tried a bit. As you pointed out, these are basic, easy things to grasp

It just confuses me when people in their late teens or 20's talk about themselves as being "kids", I think its kind of laughable. As I said, their choice
This is just my viewpoint

 

I don't have a washing machine.

 

Thats ok...as long as you do wash your clothes every now and then of course

 

Well, I'll bring it to my moms I'm not in the slightest way ashamed though, it's just more handy if she does it.

 

Btw SOMEONE has to do the "slave" jobs seeing as people are too damn lazy to do them themselves

 

In terms of independance, not being able to work a washing machine and stuff like that at 25, yes its a head shaker.

But on the flip side, seeing those at 25 who say they are too old to go clubbing etc and turn into their parents and live on the couch, thats also quite bizarre, especially considering we are living till around 80 nowadays

 

Personally I definitely dont feel Im too old to go clubbing (obviously)...its just not something I enjoy too much
My idea of a good time would probably sound boring to a lot of people, but I still very much believe we should all have as much fun as possible (whatever we each find fun) no matter how old or young, and I agree we can still do this whilst having our basic independence too. You dont have to turn into an old fart I suppose its the difference between keeping childlike enthusiasm and excitement in your spirit and being childish

 

wow, what sweeping generalisations, which are all complete crap.

I started working Part Time at 13 years old. Working shifts in a hotel, yes it was shit wages, yes it was easy work, but i saved up 4 grand doing that by the time i was 16. A fact im fuckin proud of. I got 6 As and 5 Bs at GCSE and 3 A's at A Level. I'm now studying at home for a degree in Conservation and will eventually go on to get a job helping to sustain the habitats and wildlife of the British countryside. as i see it an 'important job'. Ive also done several other jobs and things in my life i see as meaningful and important.

The thing i can do, which you obviously can't, is balance my life and have more than one thing going on at a time. I can work, i can study, i can save, i can spend and i can learn basic life skills all that same time! fuck me!
and yea so i've had to do a few medial jobs in my time, but someones got to do them. and it taught me communication skills, public services, the true value of money and gave me a bloody good start to life on my own.

Btw i would be very interested to know the titles of your books........i would love to know if i have read them. or is being a novelest code for being an unemployed and hopeless ex-drama student.

and for the record, my parents thought through having children and i couldn't wish for a more supportive or kind mum than mine. i just see her as a human being, not a walking fucking piggy bank.

</rant>

 

Alright, for the record, I don't reply because I take it personally because I couldn't care less about what people find headshaking about me about my independance for instance but I find it ridicilous to say it's a head shaker. It all depends about the circumstances (space, money, time, etc. etc.) and the person.

 

:lurk5:

Btw good on you Opel, Id absolutely love to get a degree one day, it sounds like youve done really well whilst managing to become your own person and avoid being a dependent sponge For me, once I became old enough to do things for myself, my mum dropped her "care" role in my eyes and became more a friend, there for support etc as you say, but I wouldnt expect her to wash my dishes. Unfortunately for her some dont see it that way, and shes not in the best of health, so you know

 

I think they just meant generally, if someone age 25 couldnt figure out a way to wash their own clothes if needed or understand the workings of a washing machine, just as an example, then they feel personally that person should have gained more independence by that point. Youre right and its obviously dependent on circumstances- I wouldnt pass judgement on someone solely because their parents wash their pants as Id realise there could be a very valid reason Then again if it was obvious the person didnt do it simply because they couldnt (as in they didnt have the life skills to) thats another matter

 

In my neighborhood we had guys we called waiters they were waiting for their parents to die so they coud stay and keep all their stuff. My situation was a sort of combination of enabling abuse and neglect. I learned some very hard lessons. I always had to do my own laundry and cook but never had to pay rent. I was basically there for companionship when my drunk 18 hour aday working mom decided to aknowledge my existence. Whe I tried to go out on my own It was usually disasterous ending in me moving back home due to never being taught any money skills. I would fail or my mom would tell me she had cancer and to please come home. This went on til I was 28. I refer to 28 as my 18. I would have loved to have had parents that cared and paid for college. I went in my 30s 10 yrs late. Point is a solid family is key to a solid adult. Left on our own it takes a little longer to figure things out. Life is short love it while ya can, Peace.

 

Sorry to hear you had a tough time
If a solid family creates a solid adult, that may well explain me

About the waiters, I actually know a few of them and we have 2 in our family! (my half brothers, long and sad story) Thankfully they didnt get my grandmothers stuff

 

I agree with a large portion of this, although not directed to anyone here because I've not got that attitude from anyone here. And not to all the deadbeat parent things. Some people just don't have as high paying jobs.

I'm 16, I don't plan to move out. In fact my parents would probably kill me if I did. Heck, they're considering moving for the next two years so me and my brother can commute easier, then moving back when we leave. They care, I don't see why there's anything wrong with that. And yeah, I don't do much work, that's true. I don't have a job; I don't need a job and I don't spend much money aside from clubs and lessons.

I can however, see how not knowing how to do the laundry can be unbelievable. Ours you just put the clothes in, put the soap and the limescale stuff in, choose the setting and go. And the setting thing you just turn; it's all labelled. eh.

It's just not the same.

 

Different strokes for different folks. Some people want to or are forced to become independant at 16 or 17 or whatever. For others it's different.

For me it has been unusual. My parents and family in general, for all their faults, are all incredibly supportive of one another. Being independant is one thing, but if I needed to, I could go and live with my uncle and aunt or grandmother or whatever. I mean, for example, in my uncle and aunts house: My Uncle, my Aunt, my cousin and her two kids, occasionally the kids father, my other cousin and her fiance. If you have a supportive and happy family environment then there is no reason to leave it - it won't benefit anyone. Everyone contributes what they can (except the kiddywinks) and everything works out fine. Having said that, the house is very big and money is no issue.

For me, it was a bit different. I moved out when I was 21 but moved back a couple of years later. I had an ongoing situation which prevented me from working. My sister was back too after doing her masters degree. Once I could, I got back to work - don't like relying on my parents for money. Then my sister moved out. Then something very odd happened: my parents moved out. Did I do something wrong? No... my dad took a job abroad. They still haven't moved back and I've been there ever since, apart from a year or so when I moved away. I look after the house, they and anyone else in the family have a place to stay whenever they need it. I pay my own way, but technically I'm still living at "home", and I live rent free. I'm damn lucky, I know, but it's never been in anyones best interests for me to move out, although that will change in about 6 months and I'll be moving.

There is another side to the argument too.... a lot of my friends stayed living with their parents until they were 25 or older simply because they couldn't afford to move anywhere. Rental prices are out of this world in London. One of them in particular was intensely pampered by his mother, but that was her choice not his. Sure, he could have squatted somewhere, but that's not his style. The fact is, if the whole staying at home thing works for everyone involved then there's nothing wrong with it.

There are no imperatives in life apart from the most basic ones.

Peace xx