gah.... ok, so there is this chick that i've liked for a while, and she liked me, and told me, "im just waiting for some one to ask me out". anyways, a little background on this chick: most beautiful person i have ever met, not just looks, but yeah. great personality, she thinks, shes pretty much the opposite of every other girl in this area. and she liked me. so im waiting for it, as seeing how i had very recently broken up with some one else, and i didnt want to look like a slut... but yeah, she told me that she liked two people, and i was one of them. the other, had ditched her when they were gonna hang out, and he got a girlfriend. so im the happiest i have been in a long time. so yeah, we were hanging out at a football game, and i was gonna ask her if she wanted to go out at a dance that was the next day (which happens to be today...) but yeah. so last night, i call her, like i do every night. we talk a little and then shes like "i have something to tell you, and you're gonna hate me for it". turns out she just fuckin dropped me, and is going out with some guy who smokes (she's trying to quit) and cuts himself. if thats not bad enough, she just drops me after she has dumped her life story on me, after we have been confiding things in eachother, after we'd been talking every night, for some guy who cuts himself, that she sees maybe twice a week. so, over the course of 10 hours, i go from being super happy, to crying my eyes out when ever i'm alone. and if thats not bad enough, i walked up to the school (where i forgot my bike) to get my bike and go on a bike ride to get my mind off it, and my fucking bike is stolen. 150 dollars, and a girl that i have been madly in love with, down the drain. but yeah, anyways, in my female induced depression, ive knoticed all sorts of things that are really scaring me. my sense of logic is uber fucked, so i cant try and sort this situation out. i keep wanting to hurt myself (something i will never do, for as long as i live). and i feel like i want sympathy from her, but i dont. i want her to be happy, but i guess deep down, i guess i want her to dump him and come to me. too bad people dont ever do that.
i'm sorry you're feeling so down. First, stop crying, cos it's not your fault. Second, think about all the good things you have as a person, what you have to offer, look at your reflection on the mirror and try to see beyond your eyes, what's in there? you'll see that your friend is missing out on having a great boy by her side mainly because she's too inmature to realise that the best boyfriends are those who listen to you and care truly about your feelings. other than that, just dissapear from the picture and let her alone. next time she wants to talk to you, be honest and tell her about your feelings, and tell her how hurt you felt when she ditched you. i dont know what else to tell you. i wish you luck, and please dont be upset about the bike...though i know the feeling take care
she's not immature, and i am talking to her about everything, and i feel really bad about making her feel bad. its just that... gah, i dont know. and she still wants to be the really good friends that we all ready are. its just that im too attached to her to ever be in that situation with out some akwardness...
Ouch! I am sorry you hurt. Have patience with yourself and know love offers many chances. You never know what can transpire in the future. I think it's good that you know yourself well enough to be honest with your feelings. Give yourself some space, be gentle with yourself. Sending gentle hugs..........
this reinforces my want to trip... ima wait for this mess to even out and get back in good standings with myself and everyone else, and then its SUPER ACTION SHROOM ACTION FUN!!! or not... but yeah, if i do, any advice. im merely 14, and i know that it will "open doors" and what not, but (like every other "invincable" teen) i think i can handle it. im a thinker, and, im not trying to be egotistical or anything, but folks have said im way more mature than most other kids my age and whatnot.. err, i dont know if i got that out right, im still kinda shaken by the whole dealy going on here.
I would wait until those emotions calm a bit before doing shrooms, especially if it is your first time. You want to have peace in your heart and mind before stepping into the psychedelic world. You don't want that first journey to be a bad one. Take a deep breath, and know you have a few folks here keeping you in their kind thoughts.
er, if you really are crying every time you're alone, and are genuinely this crazy upset over it... you might consider seeing your school counsellor. I just now realized that I've been depressed for an entire month, and am arranging to see a counsellor... they have a fair bit more experience than net people, your friends, or even your parents.
ive gotten better, it was only for the first few hours, but i do feel kind of empty... i cant stop thinking about it.
First and foremost, I must tell you something about women, or at least an observation of a few women that I've noted (and also in myself). You say this guy smokes and cuts himself? Well the whole theory of the "bad boy" and the "sad boy" come together in one. In my experience, women have this strange tendency to go for those two things, it may be a strange desire to change the person or some kind of screw-up in the genetic make-up *shrugs* I just don't know. But this phenomenon tends to make girls overlook what they have right in front of them, something that could probably be wonderful And from what I've heard (or read) of you so far, you seem like someone with a lot to offer. My advice is this : Wait it out. She may get hurt, she may not, either way if you're there for her maybe one day she'll see what a great friend/boyfriend she has in you. But at the same time, don't dwell, cuz that's the worst thing you could ever do to yourself. Accept that for the time being, she's off limits, and you aren't, and go out and enjoy being young! I'm not saying be a whore here, but still, don't close all your doors of oppurtunity just cuz you were set on that particular one! Also, I agree with ForestNymphe, for your first time with shrooms, you may want to wait until things are a little more stable, and you're a bit more in control, don't do things just because you're sad, it's all the wrong reasons. Best of luck, your broken heart will mend in time =) *Hugz*
yeah, im not gonna swan dive into psychadelics, ima wait till summer, or atleast till this settles out and im happy with myself and others, but yeah. dedgum, the dude shes going out with is uber nice though, its just hes wierd.... i dont know, but its all freakin me out and whatnot. im going to a dance with the girl tonight, but we prolly wont even go in... its just an excuse to talk and sort things out.. but yeah thank you guys alot.
i completely agree with all of this. u should talk to someone, and its nice that u got out some of ur feelings to the girl herself, but idk if u should tell her EVERYTHING. if u still wanna b friends with her, and b there if she gets knocked down so u can pick her up, id act a bit supportive to her, and not want to scare her off. try and find someone else to talk to , the councilar is a good idea, or mayb someone who knkows the two of u. sometimes just writeing ur thoughts down in the form of a letter (that should prolly never get sent) is a good idea. and crying is good, it helps purge u of some of the pain, but it soudns like ur crying a lot...take a deep breath, and calm urself . its hard, and itll take time, a lot of it (i would know...) but it will b better eventually. and in the big sceem of things its just a small part of ur life. ull either get her eventually, or find another wonderful girl in college or mayb someone who will move to town, or someone whos there who uv never noticed b4. as for shrooms, never done em, never gonna, but its a great idea that if u R gona that u wait lilke u said. things like that should never be used as an escape, thats when they become the most dangerious. im very sorry as a whole about ur situation, and it sounds pretty bad, im very sorry, and my heart goes out to u, i no how u r feeling, i felt it too. but itll get better, remember that. learn from the exparinece too, thats always smart.*big hugs* (cus everyone needs a hug) everyones friend madison
Aw man when a guy cries over a girl or cries in general my heart melts. Don't worry everything will be ok still try to be friends with her, even though I know it will be hard, just try to be there for her, if she is smart she will see you are special and perhaps there is still a chance, and if she doesn't recognize how special you are then she isn't worth your tears. Just the fact you cried over her shows that you really had strong feelings for her, feelings that prolly won't go away for a while. I know how it feels when someone tells you their life story you feel like you know them like no one else, and that hurts for someone to open up to you, tell you about them self, and then break your heart. A while back I really liked this kid he told me his life story a very sad story and his story made me just want to hold him and be there for him....But he had a girlfriend and he wasn't leaving her anytime soon.... long story....Bottom line don't worry sweetie everything will be alright you'll find the right girl eventualy be patient and she will show up
Bro if you need someone to talk to, I am the king of broken hearts. I know exactly how you feel when you talk about your logic being fucked, and wanting to hurt yourself. I was in that same position and before that considered myself a very balanced person. In fact I almost died many times during my big heartbreak period because I turned to heavy drinking and drug use to numb the pain. Don't go down that path bro. Don't trip on shrooms because of this, it will be damaging. Girls can turn your world upside down in a moment...sometimes it is an amazing turn and other times a turn filled with pain and despair. As weird as this might sound, believe me when I say it's a good thing you are hurting and crying right now. Especially at 14... The reason I say this is because it means you can feel. There is a girl out there somewhere for you that will bring so many amazing things into your life, and you will be able to feel these amazing things since you are a feeling person. Just keep your head about you right now and know that things will get better. You probably think this is the end of everything right now, but things HAVE to get better. In time, the edges will become less sharp and this experience will have made you stronger and made you grow as a person. Just treat the girl the same as you have...never be an asshole to girls, even if they rip your heart out and piss on it. It will only make you angry and bitter...Just let it go. Don't hold this situation against her also. She is young , and young girls often do things that hurt guys even though they are very sweet and caring girls.
