why are most men bitches?

for 19 years Ive been dealing with bitchy men. Bitchier than me is it the area I live in or what? but the men out here have a problem with being open and talking things through...even the men that really support talking things through bitch...

I dont want a relationship, because i know it has drama dragged along with it. Dont get me wrong, its not because "I dont wanna get my heart broken!!!" shit. Its the drama and the bitching that i dont want to deal with.

So Im commited to a stable sex life with a friend whos also commited. NO we're not fuck buddies, we're a lot higher than that. I hate casual sex so when we do have sex, its very emotional and romantic. anyways

lately its been awkward with us...he just had roomates move in so hes busy a lot now, working on the house, ddealing with things etc... so the sex isnt happening a lot like it was before. and us hanging out like we use to.

I call him up for ole sakes and say hey we need to talk and he says what about and im like I miss hanging out with you... *cuts me off* he goes nuts. "Im busy! im working on this fucking house! i never have time! ill call you later tonight or something!" Really rudely though and im trying to get a word in and im not really good with being open so my smart ass self says "no you wont call me later" he says "then why dont you stop talking to me?" Im confused and angry and say wtf are you talking about and he just says im done with this conversation. goodbye!

I sit quietly and say "what a bitch"

Im tired and angry and hurt because i know hes a happpy go lucky guy. so he must be really stressed out and i fuckin HATE losing a person im happy with in bed because i dont like moving on. i think its utterly gross to sleep with a new guy. but im seriously not ready or do not want a relationship, but then i think, i cant even keep a sex buddy! because they start bitching and i move on you know

I hate bitchy men

 

sounds like he has his period...send him some pamprin ....ur hot..you'll find a guy that doesn't act like a 'whiney little bitch' cause he's working too hard and appreciates you for the goddess you are, soon enough

 

I don't know why but hope your luck changes soon

 

Why don't you go and help him with the house? I find that men SUCK at dealing with stress, regardless of where there from, it just hits them harder for some reason.

 

No, you suck at finding good men.
What are you doing now?
Bitching.
When you could be out looking for a better sex partner - you choose to just bitch about it.

I could go on about how there are plenty of good guys out there - but you're being too much of a **** to deserve it right now.

Most people suck, in general, right now it seems like you are included in that - no reason to single at any groups.

 

You're definitely right about that. I think it's because they internalize a lot of stuff instead of talking about it, and they keep it inside longer. My ex-husband was like that. I could get upset about something too, but I would cry about it or talk to a girlfriend, and then it was over. He would brood about it. I'm not criticizing them ... it's just the way most men were raised.

I do think men get better about this as they get older. Maybe because their testosterone levels go down, I don't know.

 

Sounds like he is taking you for granted a little.
He might be a tad stressed but there is no need to take it out on you.
If/when he gets into a better mood and calls you, say: Fuck off.
That'll teach him.

 

That seems strange to me because most of the guys I know get pissed because girls always say they want the guy to be open about things but then they are not honest and open.

I actually just had something happen that pertains to this. I had been friends with this girl for a while and asked her to go out sometime. She said yes and things started to progress quite quickly. Everything was going good and then she just stopped talking to me for the most part. I kept trying to get a hold of her but she never got back to me. My friend told me that some people had went out one night and she said that she saw me as someone who she could have a committed relationship to but that she wasn't ready for that. Fine, I can deal with that but I wanted to hear it from her. I know she doesn't like confrontation so I was trying to find a nice easy way for her to let me know how she felt. I thought texting her would be easy as we wouldn't even have to be around each other. It would break the ice so when we sawe each other we could talk about it more easily. Never answered any of them. Said she never got them(which could happen) but she got every other text that didn't say anything about that.Finally, I left her a note telling her more or less how I felt and to my suprise she actually texted me back. She said she had somethings she wanted to tell me. When we finally did talk about it she could barely look at me. And her voice dropped in volume so low so many times I am sure I must have missed some of what she said. So now we are friends I guess but she doesn't really talk to me all that much. I texted her yesterday asking her if things were ok between us because she has seemed kinda distant lately and suprise suprise, she didn't text me back.

It really frustrates me that someone who I connected with so well and says she wants to be friends can't even respect me enough to talk to me. It just makes everything awkward when she does decide that I am worth talking to. FRUSTRATING!

My brother has the same problem with his girlfriend.

I wonder if people don't want to say something because they are afraid that it will cause drama. The way I see it is that if these people really mean something to each other then wouldn't it make more sense to say how you feel? Sure, it might cause someone to get angry or sad or whatever for a while but if you really care about someone, and I am not talking about just boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, it could be lovers or just friends, then don't you think you would try to work through whatever drama would ensue?

I don't think that it is just men who are like that, at least from my experience. I was like that a lot more when I was younger. For me a lot of it came from not trusting people so I didn't want to put myself out there and get hurt. I have come to realize that doesn't make much sense.

I hope everything works out for you!

 

men are bitches because they have severe vagina envy.

 

ahahah what!?

 

you know you do fitz, you're just mad that I found out

 

This is like the exact opposite problem I have been hearing about men my entire life... interesting... As far as you guys saying men suck at dealing with stress, it's because you all put them under unnecessary amounts of it!

 

you wanna find out where my envy lies?

 

Perhaps you subconsciously bring that facet of their personality out.

One of the toughest lessons I've had to learn is that most of the grief I've received from others was in one way or another a reflection of what I gave them... whether it was a habit of whining and complaining or passive aggressive tactics to get my way in a situation I used to have a way of making people very uncomfortable to be around me. Confronting this about myself was tough as hell but realizing it and using it to process how I carry myself through daily life has made a world of difference in how tough daily life is for me.

Yes, some people are bitches regardless and there isn't jack shit anyone is going to be able to do about that. Something that has made sense to me can be summed up by a very apt quote: "Detach from outcomes and you own the world"... if I don't invest myself emotionally in the expected results of a situation then I'm not going to waste energy giving someone grief for not doing it my way because such an investment all to often pays back returns for a long time.

 

I have done that, I cleaned big time but what hes doing is like ripping up tile and sinks and replacing them...manly work

Jeez what the hell is your problem. Calling any girl a **** gets you nowhere in life. I'll remember that. Hes a good guy btw, he just sucks under stress, just like 99% of guys and Im not bitching, im asking for advice. Idiot :hat:

Big surprise there. a guy taking me for granted! but i seen him do this to other people too. people wanting to talk and he just shuts them down. it gets annoying but i guess stink is right. Im getting to know another side of him and now im questioning myself can i handle it or not. when he gets this way, i just remain calm and have a moment then maybe in a couple hours come back and talk so it really doesnt send me off the edge.

I guess its my pet peeve about men, and yes they get older, they do change and have more patience. hes 22, so hes not that much older. It seems when they hit 25, they get pretty descent

thank you for the advice!

 

That's almost word for word straight from the Bhagavad Gita. Interesting that you entertain that philosophy right after you basically blamed her for his problems.

 

I didn't exactly blame her... I suggested she look within to see if she might be instigating these reactions since she seems to be the common denominator in all these bitchy men. I seriously doubt that she'd be 100% at fault anyway- it's his decision to react in a bitchy manner... it just takes two to tango.

 

Why are most women backstabbing banshees?

See, I can play this game too.

 

You are familiar with Hindu literature?

 

I don't agree with the latter part of this post nor its general tenor, but I think the above is spot on.

I wonder why the OP isn't ready for actual relationships in which a man will make himself fully available to her, and instead chooses a partner who's already committed and prioritizes someone else.

That is a recepie for drama, especially if she is not willing to accept it when he isn't available.

The OP is the proverbial pot calling the kettle black.

Another thing I would change in Duck's post is that, to be out looking for a sex partner is already drama. If relationships don't occur naturally, it is better that they don't occur at all.

Especially if one is so committed to avoiding drama, as the OP claims she is.