so i have been single for almost two years now and at first i was just telling people i didnt want a relationship because i need some time for me which is true but i have also discovered another reason why i havent dated in so long, I am afraid of myself in relationships. I become overbearingly jealous to the point where it changes the way i act and feel in the relationship FOr instance tonight i was out drinking with some friends and one of the girls i have been "talking" to showed up, we are not at all exclusive and i do date other girls, but for some reason everytime a guy would flirt with her i would be overcome with jealousy. This has happened a few times with the girls i have been seeing recently and i always end up becomeing distant because i dont want any of these girls to have to deal with my crazy mind and jealousy. Any advice will help at all thanks
This is true for most people man. Nobody likes seeing someone puttin the moves on the person they like. But if you're not exclusive to her then you have to realize she can do as she pleases. If you ARE exclusive and some guy's hittin on her then it's a matter of trust.
It is natural to feel jealous. Just because you feel that way doesn't mean you have to act on it, right? The good thing is, you already know that you have a tendency to feel jealous. So you can watch out for it when it comes up. DOn't try to suppress jealousy. Simply quietly note that you're getting jealous again and leave it at that. Don't take it out on your partner (although you can gently admit it to her afterwards when you're calmer) and don't beat yourself up over the fact that you feel jealous. If you can manage to do these two things, you'll be ok.
Yeah. The only way to subdue jealousy is to first not repress it and acknowledge it. This will keep your jealousy under control, by itself. However, to truly not feel jealousy, has a lot to do with the other person and also how much you have talked to the other person about it, as much as it has to do with the type of person you want. Ie. your in a bar with your girlfriend and a guy comes to hit on her. There is no question about action here, the question is; even f you gilfriend left you for a guy she just met, was she really a good person to be share your life with?
Good riddens I would say - better here than in a situation where I actually needed to count on her. I also get the feeling that jealousy is primal in the sense that we are animals deep down. Look at animals and territory and how males fight each other if they so step anywhere near each other if there is women there. In many ways, its the same thing in our world, except that feeling that your relationship is being threatened by another guy, is misleaded because women have the final say over who they choose and so do men. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, strength has the final say, physical strength and therefore, males have the final say only and therefore other males seem like a threat. In our world, its hypothetically the same, we do have the final say physically, but we know that relationships just dont work in a forced way or something along those lines.It really boils down to a mix of things man, each having stronger affects depending on the nature of the situation you are in.
