ok so i have had lots of sex with my boyfriend, almost everyday for the past4 months when we started, but we have been dating over a yr. anyway... since i am a "beginner" i really dont think i am that interesting in the sack, i just dont know what to do. my bf has always been the one putting us in positions, etc. and i have been fine with that b/c i want him to do what feels good to him. and it feels great to me so all is well. but tonight he just stopped in the middle and was like, okay, you make the decisions this time, do what you want, you pick the positions.. i literally just sat there like a dumbass on top of him NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. the only position i can think of where a girl actually can take charge is on top, and i do that all the time, but how am i supposed to "take charge" i feel bad having him hafto do it all the time, i want him to be the one out of the control for once cuz i know he likes that, i just have no clue what to do. seriously, i need help. If anyone can lend a hand it would be greatly appreciated. i wanna get good at this.
lol are you still on top of him now posting this on your lap top? oh wait wait wait, i have a better response: are you still on top of him now posting this on your computer? adds a whole new meaning to the word laptop. :H
you guys haven't even been together that long once you're with someone for a while you start to know what they like or don't like and your bodies will start working together give it time and everything will... work it's way out
try getting on him bawkwards facing away and going up and down slow... clinch your muscles down there ... so its like your pussy is sucking him off... i've always had good results with that position
can't you just tell him that you need a little help knowing what to do? he's your first so he should understand.
Go online together a look up different positions and pick out a few together and experiment that my best suggestion....
I know where your boyfriend is coming from. It is draining and tiring to make up all the sex moves all of the time. It's wonderful, as a man, to have is partner do it sometimes too. I know, been in that space on and off for too long. Look up some foreplay ideas on the Internet, and some positons, think how comfortable you are with them and go from there. Another thing, once you take charge once, don't forget to go back and do it to him again from time to time. If he is like me, it will make him a happy boy. Mark
He was trying to be romantic and sharing and giving with you, involving you more and learning about you. He wants to know you better, and one way to do it is to let you show what YOU want to choose when it's up to YOU. There is nothing wrong with you picking something that you already did at his choosing, you know. Just say, "I love it when you do me this way..." and guide your two bodies to that position. Maybe you're just naturally submissive -- nothing wrong with that. You could, maybe, kneel on all fours -- on the bed or otherwise -- and say, "I want you to grab me and fuck me hard like this!" At least he'll know what you're into. You should discuss this subject with him. Come right out and tell him what you feel about the way you've gone about your sex life, and how you've chosen what you do in bed. Tell him exactly what you told us, how you feel about not being the one to spice things up, not being the one with the ideas. He may apologize for putting you on the spot like he did, which I don't think was done intentionally. Like I said, I think he was trying to delve into you, and to spur you to take control if that was maybe what you wanted to do but didn't feel comfortable doing it. If your relationship is going to last, you have to be able to communicate about this kind of thing. Assure him that you really enjoy making love with him, and if it's true that you have no problem with him leading the decision-making, let him know that. He may just say, okay, as long as you like what I'm having us do... A guy LOVES to hear from his girlfriend that she's into what they do, and gets satisfaction from it. (Can be verbal feedback or even just groans, moans and screams, you know. Can be notes and flowers and gifts left for him, too. Stuff that says, "I feel the romance with you.") Good luck. -Jeffrey
