this is a serious thread. i need help with a girl problem

ok first off before i start this is a serous thread. i seriously need help.

ok. to start im 17 years old and i live all the way in northern indiana. i met a girl about a year and a half ago, and once i finally asked her out it went amazingly. i love her to death and she is the first girl i ever really loved. we both lost our virginity to each other and she is just ... idk, she was my absolute best friend. she got me off drugs (only the bad ones lol) and just made my life sooo much better.

k, almost 10 months into our relationship, we found out that her mom is moving to florida and her dad is making her go. we both balled our absolute eyes out for about 9 hours on the phone. we broke up the night she left just because at 16, long distance is crazy.

once she left, we got closer than ever. talking on the phone 6 and 7 hours a day, txting constantly when we werent on the phone. so after about 2 months of her leaving and just starting to get used to her new home, we both decided to give long distance a whirl, the only difference would be that we could say i love you and actually be in a relationship. it worked for about a month month and a half then we started to think that it was just not a good idea at 16. and really it isnt. we decided to just stick to being friends and later in life we could be together. we ended up getting into a huge fight about pretty much nothing and not talking for 3 months and actually ended up missing the two weeks she came up to visit her dad and all her friends. i ended up sucking up being mad and went to see her and we just stoped being stupid and started being friends again. and we got to be just like it was right after she left. just constant communication.

now its been almost 8 months since she left and i mean i havent even looked at another girl and could say that "like them" i mean i hooked up a couple times and i no she had to but nothing at all serious. but a girl and her boyfriend broke up and we had kind of been looking at each other alittle and just kind of knwon there was a vibe there for awhile. we ended up kissing. not once but a couple times and it got to kind be like a friends with benefits kind of thing. i kind of like her but there is nothing compared to what i felt for the other. i finally told the "1st girl" about the other girl and that was there first time that either of us had talked about anyhting even remotly serious with another person, since she left. it was hard but she seemed ok. but then we stopped talking no fight or anything. i new that she didnt like me hooking up with this other girl.

now were in the preasent, and me and this "2nd" girl have kind of fizzled out our little thing, and ive realized that i am miserable with "1st girl" (this is hard without saying names lol). i mean we had tlked about me after graduating putting off college and moving down there to be with her. i dont no what to do. i dont sleep i dont eat. ive considered doing pills again (i was off them for over a 1. she got me off them. i was killing myself.), and i dont have anyone to talk to about this, these to girls are the normal ppl i talk to about my problems. i just need some help, advise words of encouragement something. i love her soooooooo much i would flat out die for her, anf i no that she nos that i love her. idk if she realizes how much. and this isnt a matter of which one to pick, there is no comparison between them, and both girls no that. i just idk... need help, need to type it all down to colect my thoughts idk.. hust yea. i wanna what ppl have to say about this.

 

Long distance relationships are hard, at any age. My advice to you would be since you are young, play the field, see what's out there before you decide girl number one is "it". Sometimes we confuse love and infatuation. Not saying this is the case here, but I think you need to sit down and really think about the situation and what you hope to gain from it. You have your whole life ahead of you, so consider what you want, want you dont want, and what you're willing to accept. Good Luck!! ~Julie

 

temporary long distance relationships can work!!

temporary is the operative word though....

if you truly feel in your heart that someone is the "one" then explore that and embrace it

tis better to regret something you've done than something you havent'

 

If you were to 'stay with' girl#1 what would you DO differently than if you broke up with her? What actions would you take/not take as a result of the stay-together/break-up decision?

I know I'm old. And my reaction to
"I havent even looked at another girl .. I mean, I hooked up a couple times and I [know] she had too, but nothing at all serious"
probably indicates that I'm a fuddy-duddy as well as being old.

But, you might want to let your first love go and wait for a woman won't tolerate casual hook-ups on your part and won't engage in them herself.

Edit: As I re-read this, I realized its two seperate pieces of advice. Each with a different scope.

1) Determine what "breaking up" means in concrete terms. Making that determination may help clear your mind.

2) Seek a committed relationship. This won't help clear your head, but IMO committed relationships are better than the other kind and worth the waiting before committing and the effort to stay committed.

Advice #1 is wisdom that everyone should heed. (Similar to the advice "plan ahead")
Advice #2 is my personal opinion, which people can reject without being foolish.

 

she just came up for 3 weeks for a vist. holy shit. best time of my life. we worked everything oout and idk our relationshiop now is soooo amazing. i was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited the first time we hung out when she got here!!!!! this is def the girl im supposed to end up with. i hope it pans out so that we have a chance to make that happen