I followed the Christian faith for many years, although I've always been troubled with doubts whether God existed or not. I suppressed these thoughts by trying to make comforting connections between what I learned in science and what I believed. My family consists of people who are not at all strict Christians, but they did make sure to raise me as a believer. Long story short: my true feelings within grew stronger as I grew older, and I finally admitted to myself that I do not believe in a God. I held this realization from my parents for a long while before admitting it, and needless to say, they were not pleased when they found out. I understood their feelings, and they grew less angry and more accepting after a while. Despite this, I often feel they still do not completely respect my beliefs. They joined a church recently, which they guilt tripped me into joining. They told me how much doing so would mean to them because they wanted to join as a family. I was a little confused as to why I would bother joining, but I did so out of respect to my parents. I stood there as my parents read the Creed before the entire church. I did not want to lie, so I did not recite the Creed. I still felt like a lying fool, however, because I was standing at the altar with them, supposedly confirming my belief in Christ. The pastor also knew I was an Atheist, which made matters even more uncomfortable for me. I told myself later during the day that I would never go back, no matter how badly my parents guilt tripped me. Well, today, my mother asked me if I would attend church on Father's Day out of respect for my father. Her reasoning is that doing so will give us all a chance to spend time together before she has to go to work for the rest of the afternoon. I feel like these "out of respect" events are excuses to get me back in the habit of going to church, but alas, I feel too guilty to say no. I don't want to be the evil daughter who ruins Father's Day for my dad, even though I fail to see why we can't do other activities together. I never force my parents to listen to my point of view and my thoughts and feelings out of respect to me. I would feel like absolute slime if I did that. I probably will end up going, despite my bitter resentment towards them for guilt tripping me yet again, but I just need to ask: do you think this right or fair? Do you think going along with something you don't believe in is just sometimes a sacrifice people should make to maintain a healthy relationship with people they care about? Do you think we all should hold to our beliefs, no matter who we may offend in the process? I am interested in all of your thoughts.
I have previously suffered the same little ordeal. I was pretty young at the time. Probably around 13 or so. I had trouble believing in Christianity, yet my parents and sister were believers and attended church every Sunday. I kept my mouth shut and did as I was told, just keeping everything inside like you did. I did it more out of the respect for my parents than for the religion. When I finally decided to tell them, which was right before we left the house to go to church on a Sunday... I refused to go, and stated reasons for my actions. My mom however did not agree and stormed out of the room while yelling at me to get dressed. So, I went and was pissed off the whole time. They never used the guilt trip on me though, thankfully. I definitely disagree with it. Just another one of the flaws of believers in Christianity. They try their hardest to get you in the church at all costs. It is wrong for them to make you go if you believe otherwise. I think their are certain circumstances that you should just bite the bullet and go for someone. Even though if it seems like they are just making an excuse. We most certainly should hold to our beliefs, but there is also a time and place for everything. For example, you don't tell your parents your disagreements with Christianity right before leaving to go to church. haha.
well, to begin with, there are widely varying christianities. & unfortunately some or all think they`re the ultimate answer.
To me, your questions don't really have that much to do with Christianity or religion per se ... they have more to do with parenting, although I hestitate to say "parenting" since you're 19 years old and capable of making your own decisions about things like this. You're an adult. No one should try and coerce you to attend church or anything else, not even your parents. That's the issue here, in my opinion ... it's the fact of their trying to coerce you, not the faith. Whether you believe in God or not, the decision is yours, not theirs. And personally, I don't see a problem with going to church out of respect for your parents, even if you don't share their faith. But I can see their side, too (being a parent myself, and having children your age). Your parents want you to share their morality and spirituality, because they believe theirs is the "correct" one. Much of the time, this attitude works, but not always, and one of the hardest things for a parent to do is to accept when their children don't share their morality and spirituality. This is a time that will require a lot of understanding on the part of you and your parents, both. You have the right to your own attitudes. The time is long past when they can tell you what to do or what to believe. At the same time, they're still your parents, and you need to be able to get along with them. No one is perfect, and no family is perfect. The challenge is figuring out the best way to work these things out. Good luck to you
Hehe, I recently moved out (pics are still coming!) and I got a letter from the church in this city that I automatically joined them instead of the one in my hometown . I didn't have anything to do with a church for years though. I've been in the same situation as well, although they didn't really try to guild trip me any more after I was 16 or so. My opinion on your situation: I would never join a church again, especially not for my parents and stand there next to them pleading a creed. As for father's day, if they want to go to church and like you to come with them for a bit of family time, ah well, I don't see any harm in that. Only arguments for not going to church one time a year with my parents is that I'll just get a tad annoyed and terrible bored there. Definately not such a big deal as joining the church if you didn't feel like it. Personally, I don't feel like faking my believes if there's no real purpose (like in the dark ages I probably would joined, teehee), and happily there's no real purpose for me. We don't have to go along with it.
man, just go and enjoy the time you have with your family - they will be gone soon enough, and you'll regret those opportunities you turned down to spend with them you can be an atheist and honour your ancestors, even while they are still alive it's when you agree to attend every little churchy thing they want you to go to - that's the time to stand up for yourself.....but, father's day? be nice to your dad, it will make him happy and fill his heart with love even if you feel there is no God - there is always Love
I think it depends on the circumstances. Like if it's father's day and it's the only time you can spend with your dad. But don't let anybody molest you.
You shouldn't feel you have to go every week, but you shouldn't feel like you're somehow being untrue to your beliefs if you do go. If I were visiting a Muslim family, and they invited me to their mosque, I'd go, even if I'm not Muslim. It's kind of like how in grade school they made you recite the pledge of allegiance. I never would recite it, since I don't "believe" in America, but I had no problem standing quietly.
First, atheism isn't a belief. It's a lack of belief. As Richard Dawkins would tell you, your parents are also atheists when it comes to every single God that anyone has ever worshipped anywhere, except for one. You just go that one extra step. As for going to church, I'd say that if it means that much to them, go -- but make a deal with them. Every time you go to church, they have to read and discuss with you a book like The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, or Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. Equal time is fair, right? If they really believe in God, and if they expect you to be an intelligent, reasonable person, I'm sure they'll enjoy having the opportunity to show and explain to you the evidence for the existence of their particular God and the non-existence of any other. This will hopefully become an opportunity for you and your parents to grow closer and maybe gain new respect for each other's intelligence and strength of character.
