Proof Reading of a simple 150 word child’s book… Thanks!!!

Hi, I am writing a silly child's book for my friends adopted child. And I want to make sure it flows well in spanish and makes sense. THANKS!!
Every bullet point has what I want to say in english, and then just a rough translation into spanish, if anyone can make any corrections to the spanish translation I'd greatly appreciate it.



Title: Not So Scary Monster Monstruo No Tan Espantoso

• Sam is a young boy. It is hard for Sam to sleep, because there is a noise in his closet.
Sam es un joven chico. Es difícil para Sam para dormir, porque hay un ruido en su armario.


• Sam made his parents check the closet. They found nothing. Sam is left alone again, to sleep.
Sam hizo a sus padres verifican el armario. Ellos no encontraron nada. Sam se queda solo otra vez, para dormir.


• Before Sam falls asleep, he sees a monster at the end of his bed. Sam shakes and hides under his blanket.
Antes que Sam duerma, él ve un monstruo a fines de su cama. Sam sacude y oculta bajo su manta.


• After a few minutes Sam peeks from his blanket. He looks over the edge of his bed. He sees a little monster. This monster fainted.
Después de unas pocas miradas de minutos Sam de su manta. El examina la orilla de su cama. El ve un monstruo pequeño. Este monstruo desmayó.


• Sam thinks that the monster is more scared than he is and laughs… Poor monster.
Sam piensa que el monstruo más es espantado que él es y se ríe… Pobre monstruo.


• Sam waits for the monster to wake up. When the monster gets up he gets scared again. Sam grabs the monster and covers his mouth.
Sam espera el monstruo para despertarse. Cuándo el monstruo se levanta él se asusta otra vez. Sam ase el monstruo y cubre la boca.


• Sam tells the monster that he will not hurt him, and the monster calms down. Sam’s mother and father walk in and faint.
Sam dice el monstruo que él no lo dolerá, y el monstruo calma. La madre de Sam y padre andan en y desmayan.

 

I think the sentence in Spanish should be:

Sam piensa que el monstruo es más espantado que él y se ríe... Pobre monstruo.

And also with this sentence.. I think it should be:

Sam le dice al monstruo que él no le dolerá, y el monstruo calma. La madre y el padre de Sam entran y desmayan.

I think andar is used for walking, like caminar, and entrar would be walking into or entering.

 

Okay I shall translate into a more fluid mexican spanish version of it, I made changes as I saw would sound better

Title: Not So Scary Monster Un Monstruo No Tan Espantoso

• Sam is a young boy. It is hard for Sam to sleep, because there is a noise in his closet.
Sam es un niño joven (I think boy + young would be an little too much empahsis in spanish so I think it would be better to just go with niño and eliminate the joven Im guessing this is a child here so niño would suffice or small child niño pequeño) . A Sam le cuesta trabajo dormir, porque hay un ruido en su armario (closet can also be used since its fairly common used, actually its more common than using armario in mexico).


• Sam made his parents check the closet. They found nothing. Sam is left alone again, to sleep.
Sam hizo que sus padres verifican/checaran el armario. Ellos no encontraron nada (you could remove the ellos). Sam se queda solo otra vez, para dormir.


• Before Sam falls asleep, he sees a monster at the end of his bed. Sam shakes and hides under his blanket.
Antes de que Sam se quede dormido, ve un monstruo a fines de su cama(I have no idea how to translate the last bit of this sentence) . Sam tiembla y se esconde/oculta bajo su manta/cobija.


• After a few minutes Sam peeks from his blanket. He looks over the edge of his bed. He sees a little monster. This monster fainted.
Después de unos cuantos (cuantos could be removed) minutos Sam hecha un vistaso fuera de su manta/cobija. El se asoma sobra la orilla de su cama . El ve un monstruo pequeño. Este monstruo se desmayó.


• Sam thinks that the monster is more scared than he is and laughs… Poor monster.
Sam piensa que el monstruo esta más espantado que él y se ríe… Pobre monstruo.


• Sam waits for the monster to wake up. When the monster gets up he gets scared again. Sam grabs the monster and covers his mouth.
Sam espera a que el monstruo se despierte. Cuándo el monstruo se levanta se asusta de nuevo. Sam agarra al monstruo y le tapa la boca.


• Sam tells the monster that he will not hurt him, and the monster calms down. Sam’s mother and father walk in and faint.
Sam le dice al monstruo que no le hara daño, y el monstruo se calma. La madre y padre de Sam entran y se demayan.


more or less, though the sentences still need a little tweaking since spanish doesnt really use so many short sentences or the repeated use of he, El, name

Its still not completely right but Im too asleep Ill proof it again tomorrow and if you have any questions ask