ok, this was ment to be a collaborative peice...i only planned on starting a couple of lines but i guess i just kept going...the rhyming was fun. i totally hear this as spoken word with all the stresses...maybe a little rap flair...just came out that way...i like folk and blue grass *shrugs* i know i kinda concluded it, but i could of went on and on. so please feel free to get out your toxin and we will fit it in...or just start a new one Yeah, found this under my skin tonight unborn child, christian right? now we're gonna talk about whats not seen cause we’re the terrorists that taught the mujahadeen so stop…backup that plane hit what? the elite changed his seat to avoid that rut and you, you still got the ash under your nails what happened to the airforce tracking vapor trails? and somewhere in kabul you know a little girl shook but you you motherfucker kept on reading your book so stop…back up now were fucking the balkans for the likes of unical and the halliburtons a bloody legacy trafficking their soil paving way for afgan pipelines filled with vapor oil now enter bridas cause they beat you to the punch so you marry talibany and you eat their lunch but they proved much to greedy so you bombed them too and now you motherfuckers say osama who? stop, back up cause im calling you out for my brother in the trenches that you riddle with doubt you send him home in boxes with no bullet proof vest victim of a boy, he says “jew you next!” yeah that’s right, you created this hate and now you piece of shit your leaving us with this fate? orphans growing up with a scar on their heart because you know we need you dead for this healing to start and still, you talk of democracy and peace do you think we forgot about the man on the leash? so now, the born again is gonna hear our song you may think your slick dick but we're a whole world strong and you, you’ll know your burning close to the end of your thread when the lesson you’ve been teaching sinks into our head so yeah, i think your almost done the veil will be lifting and your song… sung.
wow, ron, that's pretty powerful. i like the way you used the rhythm, line breaks and internal rhyme. it would definately be interesting to hear as spoken word.
Man...grip me by the throat and punch me in the gut why dontcha. Jebuzz... insanely cool. The 'rap' feel only adds to the flair and anger. You can -really- feel this one just jabbing with each line. Thumbs up for ya!
Ron, I really respect you because you know whats going on in the world. Poems such as yours are very rare to come by and have a lasting effect on the people who read them if they're open to how powerful the message is. I just want to say thanks for caring about the world like you do. You make a difference. -Ashley
thanks! i'm glad you all liked it i added a couple of verses and added a couple of words. i've been warned not to edit my work too much, but this rant is just too fun to add too. let me know if you think its too much (or if you have anything to add) i think i might read this at an open mic...i can curse and yell agghhhhh! Yeah, found this under my skin tonight unborn child, christian right? now we're gonna talk about whats not seen cause we’re the terrorists that taught the mujahadeen so stop…backup that plane hit what? the elite changed his seat to avoid that rut and you, you still got the ash under your nails what happened to the airforce tracking vapor trails? and somewhere in kabul you know a little girl shook but you you motherfucker kept on reading your book so stop…back up now were fucking the balkans for the likes of unical and the halliburtons a bloody legacy trafficking their soil paving way for afgan pipelines filled with vapor oil now enter bridas cause they beat you to the punch so you marry talibany and you eat their lunch but they proved much to greedy so you bombed them too and now you motherfuckers say osama who? bet ya didn’t know i knew that little fact maybe now you can tell us why you bombed iraq? tell us that your looking for those wmd’s you know they existed, you got the receipts but you don’t want to bother with that infraction cause sadam was just a weapon of mass distraction so stop, back up cause im calling you out for my brother in the trenches that you riddle with doubt you send him home in boxes with no bullet proof vest victim of a little boy, he says “jew you next!” yeah that’s right, you created this hate and now you piece of shit your leaving us with this fate? orphans growing up with a scar on their heart because you know we need you dead for this healing to start and still, you talk of democracy and peace do you think we forgot about the man on the leash? so now, the born again is gonna hear our song you may think your slick dick but we're a whole world strong and you, you’ll know your burning close to the end of your thread when the lesson you’ve been teaching finally sinks into our head so yeah, i think your almost done soon the veil will be lifting and your song… sung.
