Losing a Parent

Lost my mother back in 89, because of breast cancer, yeah it got her.

THAT SUCKED!!

 

If you had lost a parent you could never ever say this. My father died right after I turned 17. He was 50. It's the most unbelieveable thing in the world. And although from a young age you know your parents are going to die before you, when it happens your mind just breaks down. It's indescribable. It is a person who has always been older than you, stronger than you, smater than you, wiser than you, one of the only two people in the world who will always be there no matter who or what you are. You see them as a super hero when your young. When they die you realise the way you saw them was just an illusion. You realise that your whole life they were just a human. It's an incredibly fucked up feeling.

 

While I disagree with your first paragraph, and feel bittersweet about your thoughts on family, I feel your last paragraph is full if wisdom and strength.

 

I don't think losing one of my parents would devastate me as much as watching one of my parents lose their best friend, their other half, their life.

 

I think it is full of lies and leaps of faith. We only have the now. Sorry to be a killjoy.

 

that was fairly recently, wasn't it? how are you doing now?



i haven't lost a parent. i did have a nervewracking 6 hours in the waiting room when my dad had a tumor the size of a tennisball removed from his spine. luckily it turned out to be some rare variety that is never malignant.

the several years of addiction to prescription painkillers that followed were also rough.

things are better now.

but i don't look forward to dealing with it for real. i just hope that i don't go first and make them have to deal with losing a child. that would be even more difficult, i think.

 

I lost a parent and sibling recently. It's much like what Lunarverse said. You're never quite the same after it.

.

 

I lost my father when I was 22. I was a full blown alcoholic at the time so I drank for days. My mother passed 2 years ago and she was a very amazing woman who I saw every day and I miss her every day.

 

I did the same thing when my dad died. I started drinking the day he died and I did so everyday until about a week ago or so.

 

I didnt lose my parents but it really fucking hurts just to even think about it. Im a total daddys girl even at 19 and I always will be and just the thought of him not being in my life, Im tearing up now. Im so scared of losing him and my mom. Not sure what I would do if I lost one of them. I keep having dreams about my grandpa dying, hes my only grandpa so yes hes my best friend, and when I have those dreams, I wake up crying my eyes out. He just lost one of his best friends the other day and it just hurts.

 

My father walked out when i was born but i cant say thats caused much pain in my life. Cant miss what you never had. Though i wasnt very "manly" growing up since i was just raised by my mom and that always led to social problems. The other guys were playin football, i was writing poetry. Actually thats still what im doing to this day haha.

 

My mother died due to complications of pneumonia back in 96. I was 12 when it happened, 1 month before my 13th birthday. I still think about her sometimes and wonder if my life would be different if she was with me and watched me grow up to become a man. I always wanted to learn who my mother was as an adult, but I have lost that in this life.

I have dreams of her sometimes, and many of them are reoccurring. I dream that she is being very selfish and leaving me to go on a trip on her own. The dreams are rarely positive and this reoccurring dream has the same scenario, different occurrances, but same overall idea; that she leaves me because she's being selfish. I know that's silly but that's how it turns out in the dream.

It's true what they say that you never forget, but it's also true that they say that you can find peace in the fact and that you can move on. You can't carry the dead over your shoulders forever and doing so is just a waste of time.

I never went to the funeral, and I never visited her grave. Probably because I don't want remember her as dead, but someone who was alive. I think that the whole funeral thing is absolutely ridiculous and that crying over it is useless and a bit juvenile. Sorry to say that for anyone else out there that lost a loved one, but I just feel that whole thing is silly. Life should be celebrated, not mourned. The whole ceremony of the funeral is just a tradition, and it's tradition that I want no part of.

Love is much stronger than death. Giving death any more power is a real shame.

 

I know what you mean. I completely broke down when my mother died.

I still think that it should not be that way.

The night that my mother died, I saw her in her hospital garb with frizzy, (how she looked before she died), looking for something in the living room. I guess it could have been a waking dream, but no one really knows what those are... but I'll tell you, it was just as real as anything being seen irl.

 

its funny you mentioned it,
i just heard news about my father today that scared me.
hes all i got .. i dont know what i'd do

 

Is he ok?

 

Just cuz your mourn for your loved ones doesnt mean you're giving death power over them. And besides life and death are just different aspects of the same thing. Like up and down or on and off. You can't have one without the other. Death is necessary.

 

Death is never necessary. No need to see human life as having an expiration date.

But you're right, I guess some mourning is unavoidable, but I still think that the whole funeral arrangement as being backwards.