Husband or Owner Please help me

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by meeker, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. meeker

    meeker Member

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    I'll try to make this short so I won't bore anyone I really need help!!!
    I started dating my husband at 16 years of age..by the time i was 21 we were married. I am now 24 he is 30. through the years i have always paid for everything..loaned him money, paid anytime we went out etc etc. he does pay a set amount for bills though. he has continuosly lied to me about both important things and nonsense things. for the past say 2 years i have felt like a walking atm that can have sex with him (i don't enjoy the sex either) he pays little to no attention to me and i just couldnt' take it anymore..yet on the other hand he can be very sweet and helps out my grandmother and things like that (he's not all bad).this is where my owner comes in. i was curious about the bdsm lifestyle and discovered that an old friend of mine is a dom. we had lunch and ended up having sex a few days later (absolutely amazing sex...i am definitely 100% submissive) i thought it would stop at that one time...it didn't!! it's been almost 2 months now and i can't break it off with him (he actually slowed it down to like once a week for fear of attachment) problem is he is the one that admitted to always being interested in me in the first place (since high school). if i wasn't married i think we would have a great shot at happiness together...everyday i find myself more and more attracted to my owner...i crave his time and his affection (when we're not having the rough sex he is so sweet and affectionate) what should i do...stay in a relationship that i have been unhappy with for some time because we have almost 8 years of history together...or risk it for something that does make me happy but has no clear defined promise of security??? please dont reply with "teach your husband to be a dom" because i cannot see him in a dominant role (we've tried) thank you for your time
     
  2. MaryJBlaze

    MaryJBlaze eleven

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    gtfo of the relationship, you're miserable!! you shouldnt even have to ask...

    be single, explore, enjoy, you have your entire life ahead of you and it's too short to waste being miserable!!
     
  3. KCMOHempMama

    KCMOHempMama Member

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    i a sub female ... i love my Master... id swim the deepest depths of the darkest ocean to be w him.
     
  4. KCMOHempMama

    KCMOHempMama Member

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    ps. your husband is the one in the way, not your Master. trust me on this. hit me up in a pm ill give u my Gmail .. peace mama
     
  5. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

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    does your hubby know about your old buddy?

    regardless, you sound incredibly unhappy and like youre feeling super unappreciated in your marriage. even if you stay in it, there are going to need to be some serious changes and a lot more communication between the two of you
     
  6. meeker

    meeker Member

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    For some reason it won't let me pm you hemp mama. I would really like to talk to you though since I am new to the master slave relationship. Any clue how we can keep in touch
     
  7. iriegnome

    iriegnome Member

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    Personally, you should have never cheated. WRONG!!! Leave your husband. End it. It sounds like the best thing for you, but cheating is just wrong. It does not sound like your husband is really that bad, but just not good for you. That's cool. End it. Move on. He does not deserve a cheating wife and you should not need to carry the guilt of being a cheating wife or the other woman.
     
  8. meeker

    meeker Member

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    I mustve forgot to mention that trying an open relationship was openly discussed and agreed upon months before this ever happened!! He has had sex with other people too!! I just happened to get attached to someone else....so yes he does know what I am doing!!
     
  9. Enraged Angel

    Enraged Angel Banned

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    If it's gotten to the point that you guys are pretty much sleeping with other people and unhappy with the presence of each other it's time to call it quiets.

    You are already apart and you just don't realize it. Sounds like you two are only together because you are labeled married.

    People change, high school sweethearts aren't always the best person to spend the rest of your life with.
     
  10. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    let me ask you this: if your dom were not in the picture, where would you really be?

    The worst thing you can do is to flee TO someone. No one deserves to be a rebound.
    Get out, be independent, and leave off with sex for a while to get your head straight...or have more than one so the impulse of romantic attachment can chill out for a while.

    on a quick read, I'd be more concerned about the finances.
     
  11. meeker

    meeker Member

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    thank you all..you have been very helpful. just wanted you all to know how much i appreciate your concern and your advice..
     
  12. Guest 157586

    Guest 157586 Member

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    I really agree with Enraged Angel..
    I mean if you have to get online and poll people whether to stay with your husband or not..then you two have obviously got big problems.
    Maybe you guys should call it quits, before one gets hurt and end up regretting all your time together.
     

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