Hello gay hipforums folk I do not have really a question that needs an answer I'm just feeling out of it and need to talk/bitch/? I have found myself in a relationship with a boy who thinks he is straight but still admits is more than close to a gay/slightly gay man (me) in a "hetero-lifemate" situation. Is hard to explain. lets try in breif. I aint gonna say his name so I will call him "boy". I have known this boy since highschool, our friendship really started after highschool when I encountered him on the road, he was going to school at HSU, I knew he wasa going to school there so I wandered around looking finally asking some random dude wether he knew a short jewish dude named "blank", turned out to be his dorm-mate, found out why he didnt answer my calls, he was asleep. since then we ended up living near each other and we hang out every day, he understands that I am a queerbal and I got the hots for him hella bad he still hangs with me every day, he as of recent started calling me every so often as his "hetero-lifemate". according to my friends in frisco we are perfect match and I need to jump on him, make out with him and force him to the come out of his closet. I know my boy and I know such activity would scare him away even farther. He means a whole lot to me, we are halfies on a overcab truck camper that fits both our trucks, we road-trip together and switch off trucks depending on the journey. we got matching boots, trucks (ford rangers), matching musical tastes, (he fitted me with my Rock-Wings) we trip with the dead together. shit I want him as a boyfriend... I met this boy in highschool, I was hella confused about my sexuallity, turned out I was hitting on his hoping GF who I realized was a bitch, but in highschool presented a nasty situation. after HSU things went weird, I have spent more time in humbum than him and I know where she went, downtown. he has since lost interest in her,realized what I have learned. I am stuck in a mode of waiting, the end of rainbow tour in the southwest me and him are driving to southern Jersey where I am hoping to score a crash pad and complete a course of study that will take 2 years, he can score a cross-country plane ride back. I am worried... he says he will wait for me but two years of schooling I am scared I will lose him, honestly I dont ever care for a true gay ass couple with him, all I hope is that I can be wth him, I"m not sure how to explain how I feel, I am in the hopes that you all have a similar feeling
hey, I have a similar experience, not the same of course. but well, noone else replied yet, so here we go: When I started university I got to know Joshua (not his real name, but rather a name that suits a gay story, doesn't it?), we bonded very quickly, and became best friends within months. We decided to start sharing a flat, and from then on did everything together. Only difference, I was (and am) in the closet, he always had a girlfriend. We shared everything, it was a bromance really. But soon I couldn't hide from him anymore - we just knew each other too well. The good news, we remained best friends, but he's straight as they come with no interest at all in anything happening between two guys physically. He does behave more stereotypically gay than me I think, using all kinds of lotion stuff and he's very sensitive and thoughtfull, besides being a clown haha. I think that's originally why I thought we could have a chance. But he was always very rejecting when it came to laying my head on his shoulder or stuff like that. But who knows whether that was faked because he feared being not manly enough, or maybe he really just didn't like it.. at all! hehe. But he could or woud never deny the magic between us, friends refered to us as one person sometimes, or a couple, and we assured each other more than once, that nothing could come between us etc. We admitted we lived the life of a couple sometimes and we often pictured us being old, sitting on some rockingchairs on a porch, watching a lake or something and reflecting our lives. EDIT: on a side note: Joshua basically slept in my room 6 days a week, though we had two rooms next to each other (and he had a girlfriend, in the same house). Did I mention we also shared a passion for weed-every-day? Still, after 3 years it became clear that he had to move away. By the time I was just starting to get over him romantically and I supported his decisions. He now lives with his girlfriend a 6 hour drive away and I can truely say I'm glad for the two, and I hope he'll be happy with her. We're still close, though we struggle sometimes. Even though we had known before it would have to be different, telefone calls instead of doing everything together, from time to time he or me suffer from being away from the other, fearing to lose the other, that connection. Funnily enough he's more "jealous" than me now, but I guess that's normal - imagine finding your soul mate, realizing he's gay and in love with you, You fear in the process of letting you go romantically, he might want to distance himself from you alltogether. (it's not gonna happen) + I was a bit nicer towards him back then (oh so in love), and he seems to miss that, somehow. I swear. If only that son of a bitch had been nice to me any time haha. Long story short: I let him go, I'll never have a pussy, so he won't let himself like me that way, you know? Maybe I didn't put enough effort in it - it was my dream to be with him together, but it seems his dream are different, so I try to help him achieve his dreams. And someday I hope I find another soulmate, an accessable one And who knows, we might still end up on two rockingchairs next to each other! - Le fin
Here is the problem with many of us gay people, we sometimes find it hard to draw a line between sexuality and friendship. Some of my best friends are girls, but i dont question if I like them or if they like me...we are just friends, thats all. If you have a great friendship with a straight guy, dont fuck it up by including sexuality, just cherish the friendship. Why cant a gay guy be just friends with a straight guy?
I had a soulmate whom I loved and lived with for five years. I often refer to it as my gay relationship - as that's what ppl would assume, but it was actually mostly non-sexual. Hard to explain how I loved sucking cock but not his. He was a bit older than me, my mentor in many ways and the impetus of all our travels around the world, but we travelled as brothers. Initially we had sex with each other but eventually decided to live a celibate life as soulmates but not lovers. I only did one other guy in those five years and Jim, who knows, but we lived as brothers on a spiritual quest and were with each other constantly. Ppl thought we were brothers and saw us as a unit instead of separately. Two Brothers We parted ways and both married women after we split. I cried at his wedding to our mutual "sister." Sometimes relationships just don't fit in a box like Harriet and Ozzie (hope yer all old enuf to know that ref - Google It. ) So, don't know what to say about your prob. It is possible for two guys to live together as non-sexual soulmates for whatever reason. But, the separation would probably induce you to go your separate ways.
